Worry

What do you say to a friend who wants to die?  How do you balance the purely selfish need to keep your friend versus their need to end the horrible pain they are in.  I know he is in a deep depression and that is a lot of why he is talking like that.  But his life has been one disaster after another.  He has been homeless, abused, and spent time in jail.  The family he still has is not supportive at all.  He has only a handful of friends.  The worst part for me is he now lives a thousand miles away.  Add in the depression and he is even further away.

I know depression.  I myself have been in a place where death seemed so much easier than life.  I had enough friends and family around that I knew I needed help and got it.  My friend is alone a lot.  And that terrifies me.  The fine line I must balance is between being a friend while offering support and becoming too pushy.

I know I cannot control him.  I know I cannot stop him.  All I can do is love him and hope this depression lessens soon for him.  In the mean time I wait and worry.  I know he has the numbers to reach out to.  He is strong no matter how he feels right now.  The magnitude of what he has survived so far is enormous.  I know he is tired.  But he can overcome this.  I have to believe that.  I love him like a brother and I always will.  We go through this depression as best as we can, together in heart.

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