Did He Or Didn’t He

He actually accused me of cheating.  We sat in the car battling tears over a separation I had to have to save my sanity and he said I was having an affair.  I did not cheat.  I still to this day think he did though.

We were married for twenty years and over half of that time was a struggle with his alcoholism.  I worked so hard to keep the image of the happy family in everyone’s eyes.  But there were two people I always wondered if he was untrue with.  Both he worked with at one time and he just talked about them too much.  The stories about work seemed to revolve around them.  Even one of them well after she stopped working there.

I know the one woman tried to be friends with me but seemed so fake, like she was trying to cover something up.  She always laughed far too much at his stories when we would meet in public.  I know she was involved with a married man at one time so it was not out of the ordinary to think she would have been with my then husband.

The second woman I could never really come up with anything other than a feeling, but I know she was the center of his conversations for a long time.  He even talked once of letting her stay with us on a night of a snow storm, but said she declined.  I was horrified at the thought and glad I did not have to face the possible reality.

I will never know the truth.  My ex-husband died far too young from the abuse the alcohol caused his body.  Does it really matter?  It would not have changed things any.  His drinking was the heart of our problems and he seemed unsure that he needed to stop, even after our divorce.  So in a way he cheated on me for many years with his mistress alcohol.

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