Day 52 – 100 Days of Happiness

Have I ever mentioned that depression can really suck?  This was one of those days I spent half  of the day in bed.  No energy, no ambition and I could care less about anything.   The further the day went on the more I began to struggle with myself. I am still fixing dinners for my dad and I just didn’t know how I was going to get that done.  I knew I had to go to the store first to pick up a few things for him.  This seemed impossible to do.  I weighed the option of throwing on a baseball cap and going without a shower.  I though maybe just half of the list today and half tomorrow, but that would only double my anxiety.

Finally around four in the afternoon I drug myself to the bathroom to shower.  I then sat afterwards debating the store another couple of hours but I did feel a bit better after the shower.  I decided there was no getting around it and finally left a little after six.  I put on my blinders and pretended I was the only one at the store and in about twenty minutes had the task finished.  Only one more task before I could return to the safety of my recliner.

I took the groceries to Dad’s house and got him some dinner rounded up.  Talked for a little bit and then retreated to my car.  I had gotten it done.  I actually accomplished something in spite of wanting to do absolutely nothing.  I found the energy somewhere, someway.  I guess I can take a little pride and happiness in that.  I returned to home and my sweatpants and t-shirt and my comfy chair feeling a little better.  Feeling a little happy actually that I got around the beast of depression for an hour or so and got something done with my miserable day.  Now tomorrow it starts all over again…

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