“She’s a lot like you.”

The words burned my heart

You compared her to me

“Not to be rude…” is what you said

But rude was not the comparison –

It was a flash fire scorching my love

Leaving my devotion in ashes

Wondering what I ever did wrong

That you didn’t want me…

 

For the daily prompt scorched

Day 66 – 100 Days of Happiness

Today once again I turn to writing to bring me happiness, but today is a little different.  A friend of mine from back in our high school days has a birthday coming up and I am writing a time travel letter to take her back to the 1980’s.  Some of the silly things we did as teenagers – hanging out at the video arcade, thinking we were hot stuff when we would go to the college campus stores to flirt with the college guys, the notes we wrote in school, the lunch runs in senior year to the store blocks away to buy and eat junk food…   There was so much we did then that you would be in trouble or serious danger if you did these days, but we had a ball and lived through it all.  It has been fun pulling out all the old memories for her letter… I hope it gives her as big of a smile as writing it has given me.  Do you ever walk down memory lane back to the things you did as a kid and wonder how you made it out alive?  Have fun with some old memories today!  (((HUGS)))

Day 65 – 100 Days of Happiness

Things seem like they are falling apart lately.  Too many problems and not enough solutions.  My boyfriends way to deal with this was to start drinking again after being sober for 4 years.  It has brought back memories of my ex-husband and his battle with alcoholism.  Today I tried to find some peace the best way I know how (besides walking in nature) – I went to an Al-Anon meeting.  I used to go regularly for nearly two years.  Then I had health issues that kept me away.  I am hoping to settle back into a regular meeting time and find a little peace.  It was good to be in a room full of others who have similar issues.  We even laughed a little tonight and I really needed that.  So even in the middle of the chaos that is my life right now, I can still find some happiness in a day and I am so very grateful for that!

100 Days of Happiness

I have once again had a night that got away from me so I will have to do two posts in one tonight…

Day 63 – I got a letter from a good friend of mine today.  She used to work with my Dad actually and I tagged along a couple of times to lunches they had together… now I am so glad I did, because she became such a good friend.  She is a beautiful soul who is strong, loving and afraid of nothing.  She has a wonderfully quiet place in the country now and shares beautiful nature photos and stories of the birds, butterflies and assorted farm pets with me.  Her letters are a joy, almost as much as she is.  She gave me more than one smile today!

Day 64 – Tonight has been a tough one for me for several reasons but I am happy I have words.  Words to express my pain and fear (my post on the daily prompt filthy) words to tell a friend I care (a small text exchange for a friend in some stress) and words to clear my head (my journal writing).  On days like today if I did not have words, if my muse left me, I think I would just curl up in a ball and waste away.  Writing can bring a peace that nothing else can touch sometimes… very therapeutic.

A Too Familiar Stench

Alcohol is a filthy word

When you speak it,

You slur the word so bad…

You crawl to the bed

And ask me to understand,

You needed an escape…

You pass out instead of sleep

And the stress we share,

For me, has just been doubled…

I cannot speak,

I am the one numb now

Uncertain what tomorrow will bring…

Day 62 – 100 Days of Happiness

My grandfather used to hate Mondays… always seemed to be the day of the week when things would go wrong.  I had a pretty good weekend, then today came along.  Stress, anxiety, depression… it is all trying to gang up on me again.  Money issues are really hitting us hard right now and with my car making a mystery sound I am so worried about repair costs.  We have been putting off a recall repair (which will be free, but will take time) so decided today to set up an appointment and ask about the sound.  Luckily the mechanic said it did not sound like anything serious and could be fixed when they do the recall repairs. That was a big relief to me!  Not only do I need the car for my medical visits, but I am driving my Dad around now too as he has no license.  So this turned out to be a good news Monday… my grandpa would never believe it.

Day 61 – 100 Days of Happiness

Today was just as I expected.  I pushed myself a little too much yesterday in fun, today I pay for it with pain and stiffness.  But the show must go on or something like that.  I gathered up all my energy spoons and went to the store to shop for my Dad.  I am glad I did.  I saw a friend who had recently had back surgery.  We talked for a while then continued on our way.  Then I ran into a former neighbor who also has a daily battle with fibromyalgia and the two of us caught up a bit on where we were on the pain scale.  So it turned out to be a fun trip to the store despite the pain.  Seeing friends always makes me happy.

Day 60 – 100 Days of Happiness

Oops… I had a busy day yesterday and was wiped out before I could post my Day 60, but what a fun day.  Every year there is a local craft fair at the community building and the senior high school.  Since my daughter was old enough to appreciate crafts we have tried to make it every year to the show and that is what we did yesterday.  It was good to see the changes from last years popular crafts.  My favorite of the new items was some beautiful decorated leather journals.  They were out of my price range but they were wonderfully crafted.  We did out usual stop to a repeat stand where they sell flavored pecans… had to get some maple ones, delicious!  Then after we had been through both buildings we took a trip to the craft store for more inspiration.  It was fun but the day had one more surprise.

I had stumbled across some information about an actual quidditch (as in the Harry Potter sport) tournament that would be taking place yesterday too.  So we took a few minutes to she what a sport on flying broomsticks with magical flying balls looked like in an ordinary world.  The players had broomsticks they had to keep between their legs, rubber balls to try to score and volleyball to hit each other with as a diversion.  It was fun to watch for a little bit, but my daughter had to go to work so we couldn’t stay long.

It was a full day for me and I am feeling the fatigue and pain from being on my feet so long yesterday, but it was a wonderful day spent with my daughter continuing a tradition.  Now we wait a year for it to return and offer more inspiration and the potential for a few early Christmas gifts.

Daily Prompt: Flames

The look in his eyes was fire,

Flames burning in rage.

His world was coming apart

And it was out of his control.

No job,

No money,

No hope…

 

The flames will fade,

The fire will go out.

He had a temporary fix

With a bottle in his hand.

No pain,

No feeling,

No hope…

 

The fire became an ember,

Then the spark left his eyes.

From drop to drowning

He never had control.

No hope,

No future,

No life…