Happy and Grateful – Day 30

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

One thing I have always liked to do is read.  I find trouble finding time to read now when I am not too fatigued and I also have to watch for days when the fibro fog is bad because I have to read sections over again.  Recently I have been doing some books on CD to listen to and find I can still get lost in a good book that way.  I was able to find almost a full hour today that I was alert and clear-headed enough to listen to my lasted audio book, Joe Hill’s NOS4A2.

Reading can take you to another world, a beautiful escape from the stress of reality at times.  I am happy I can still indulge in that illusion from time to time.  I am grateful for a local library that is well stocked in all books including audio books.  And they say reading is good for the mind… sometimes I feel like my mind needs all the help it can get.

Never Another

It is not like fixing

A worn out light bulb;

You can’t just find

A replacement for love.

I have truly loved others,

They’ve never been the same.

He was my best friend

And a very deep love.

Only one has been close

And it’s not meant to be.

I don’t think I will ever find

Another love like his…

Happy and Grateful – Day 29

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

I was feeling a bit better today so I decided to go out and about.  I met my favorite person – my daughter – and had some spiced chai latte at a local coffee shop.  We chatted for a bit and then went to the library to browse.  I am in the middle of a Joe Hill book right now so I didn’t find anything just yet.  My daughter however came up with about 4 books to take home.

It was nice to see my daughter, that always makes me happy.  I still had enough energy to pick up a handful of things at the grocery store for my Dad and dropped them off when I made him dinner.  I am grateful I got those things done.  I may have more back and hip pain again tonight, but I do feel like it was a good day.

Photographic Moment

A yellow blooms face

Smiling so brightly at me

I must capture it

Happy and Grateful – Day 28

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

I woke up today in a full fibromyalgia flare.  I was just out of 7 hours of sleep and I felt like I had been awake for three days straight.  Add in the head to toe pain and body aches… it was not looking to be a great day.

I did what I had to do to take care of me.  I took a couple of naps today and dug out my pain pills… I hate to take them very often because I don’t want them to lose their effectiveness.  I used my heating pad and put off the laundry one day.  I am hoping to get to sleep earlier tonight and with any luck the fatigue wont be as bad tomorrow.  It doesn’t always work that way though.  If it is still bad I will nap some more and adjust what I need to.

I am happy I have some things that can help ease the pain when I am hurting, I have the freedom to nap when the fatigue is bad and chance to rearrange things I don’t have the energy to do.  I am grateful there is always a chance tomorrow will be better… that is a hope I have to hang onto.

Automatically In The Past

It’s an automatic response;

I hear the slurred words,

I smell the alcohol on your breath

And I instantly tense.

 

I remember those nights;

He stumbled down the stairs,

Breaking the window

And I am instantly afraid.

 

I know you’re not him;

He drank more,

He lost control

And I should not compare you to him.

 

But it’s an automatic response;

You drink,

I remember

And the hurt begins again.

Happy and Grateful – Day 27

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

As I sip my Lemon Zinger herbal tea I try to unwind.  It wasn’t a great day, but it ended on a pretty good note.  My daughter stopped by after work to watch a little of the soap opera with me.  We discussed how work has been going for her.  She cooed over the cat – the cat is really hers, but she can’t have pets at her apartment so I keep her here.  And she raided the refrigerator.  She left with my sweatshirt on convinced we had the furnace set too low.

It always does me good to get a chance to see her again.  I really miss her every day.  I was happy to spend a couple of hours with her and grateful she is still a part of my life.  Don’t know what I would do if she wasn’t.  I love her to the moon and back!

Final Curtain?

The curtains are a filter

For the harsh sunlight

Trying to block out the day

Block out the pain of last night

You lied

You broke your promise

You destroyed my hope

The sun may be shining

But my day is gloomy

Should I say goodbye

Is this the end

I shrink into my chair

Wanting to disappear

If only I knew answers

Instead of feeling only pain

Happy and Grateful – Day 26

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

`I am digging deep today to find my happiness.  I had high levels of fatigue and moderate pain today.  But I still pushed forward and went to the store with my boyfriend to restock our nearly empty freezer.  I think I have mentioned before the store we shop at offers a fuel money saver if you buy certain products that are featured.  This week it was all meat and seafood purchases.  So we have enough meat to last us a couple of weeks or more.

We bought enough to save us 65¢ per gallon of gas… that will add up with a full tanks worth.  Not the best we have ever done in one shopping trip, but pretty good.  Should save us close to $9 next fill up.  And we will eat well for the coming weeks.  I am already craving the beef roast in the slow cooker… yummmm!

I am happy we had the money (it was payday today) and were able to take advantage of the sale.  Grateful I found the strength to make it through the shopping trip… just hope I don’t pay for it with added pain tomorrow.

Simply Love

I love you,

It’s as simple as that.

But your life is over there

And mine is stuck here.

If only things were different

And we could be together;

I would give you the respect you deserve

And you would give me the protection I need.

But life is in the way

And life is never simple.