At the height of my ex-husbands drinking and my lowest moments I often thought the best option for me to get away from all the mess was to drive straight into a tree off the highway… thankfully I had a friend who saw how deep I had fallen and helped pull me back up.
Being in a household with a heavy alcoholic is hell, total isolation, guilt, shame, anger and a million more emotions all bottled up and shaken well and often. But the thing to remember is you are never alone. There are millions of ways to break free and get help that don’t have the disastrous results of this poem. Reach out, find help, you are NOT in this battle alone.
Al-anon http://al-anon.alateen.org/
Suicide hotline http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 1-800-273-8255
I was aware of the snow
But I left anyway
I had to get out
I had to get away
The house reeked of alcohol
Again you had too much
I had to get away
I had to get out
I felt the tires lose traction
And the impact with the tree
I had to get out
I had to get away
Unconsciousness turned the world grey
Maybe this was my escape
I had to get away
I had to get out
Saying goodbye to the life I knew
And hello to eternal peace
I got out
I got away
I am sorry about what you had to go through. You did well to share this poem with us.
Thank you.
How’s you finally get the courage to share this? If you don’t ming.
I have been in therapy and a part of the Al-Anon program for years. I believe the point where suicide is an option is not something to be ashamed of, it is a chance to connect with others and let them know they are not alone. These feelings happen, but there is hope to turn things around.
I strongly agree. That you for sharing.
Thanks for your comments! 🙂
I care, it’s my nature.
This must have been difficult.
It was but I think I am stronger now because of it. Thanks for your comment.