Month: May 2017

Happy and Grateful – Day 150

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Today was mostly good.  It was another picture perfect spring day with blue skies and a gentle breeze.  I got to do one of my favorite things today… spend time with my daughter.  We went to the local library to pick up some books and DVDs.  And then shared a little conversation with coffee.  It always makes me happy to see her.

Then came a turn in the day.  I went to pick up my prescriptions and ran into a friend I used to work with.  She has been going through treatments for cancer.  I asked her how things were going and she said the chemo was done.  Not because she was in remission, but because that was all they could do for her.  The doctors say she has 6 months to a year left.  She just witnessed the birth of her first grandchild, she has three wonderful children, and is a friend to many… she has a lot to live for.  Why is she losing it all?

I feel a lot of frustration having gone through both chemo and radiation nearly 14 years ago and I am fine now… why does cancer have to be so unfair?  I do take some comfort in the fact she is dealing with it well.  Even has a vacation planned with the family to an ocean get away.  She is going to live life until the cancer will no longer let her.  She is still working at a job she enjoys and not going to quit until she has to.  She is a remarkable woman.  I have heard it said before that death is only hard on the living… seeing her life force still strong I think of that.  She has come to terms with her mortality and is facing it with great dignity.  It is those of us left behind that will mourn her spirit for many a year… I am grateful for the time that I have been blessed to know her.

Happy and Grateful – Day 149

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Today was a picture perfect day for a holiday.  Mild temperatures and lots of sunshine and blue skies.  We kept out traditional Memorial Day appointment with my Dad.  His house is right on the “big” parade route so we always wave to the veterans and dignitaries that take up half of the small town parade… a community band and the emergency vehicles of the town take up the other half LOL.  We can usually hear some of the ceremonies they have at the cemetery only 2 blocks away.  Then we have some breakfast pizza and donuts.  It is a nice way to spend the morning.  I know my Dad really appreciates the company on days like today.  It makes me happy to see him laugh and smile a little more.

The rest of the day was pretty laid back.  My boyfriend napped and I got closer to caught up on my email.  We had a nice dinner and I went and got some dinner for my Dad.  Then we had to deal with a little drama from my boyfriend’s ex-wife, but nothing that is new.  Still a little unsettling.  Makes me grateful we are in a pretty good place… at least I think we are.

All in all it was a nice holiday.  The only part I didn’t like is the part that gets to me every year and that is hearing the 21 gun salute at the cemetery for the fallen soldiers.  Chokes me up every time.  Now it is back to a “regular” week tomorrow.  Well as regular as it can be with a boyfriend who just dyed his hair purple… LOL.

Fireworks Flashback

Last year a friend posted about how some of our soldiers have a hard time around the holidays with fireworks causing PTSD trauma.  Please be mindful of vets in your neighborhood when deciding to use fireworks over the summer.

As the fireworks explode

Across the night time sky

He hears the bombs detonate

Once again inside his mind

Every year he dreads the holidays

And the memories they bring

The sounds and smell of gunpowder

Scarred him when he was just nineteen

And every fuse that is ignited

Brings more flashbacks to his mind

He is haunted by the sounds of war

Brought to life with just a bang

 

 

Happy and Grateful – Day 148

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Today was a beautiful spring day for the windows to be open to hear the birds singing.  If I had just had a little more energy I might have made it for a walk today, but it just wasn’t in the cards.

Today was a day spent trying to connect with a friend.  I made a card and finished up a letter to her today. I did her whole card without getting any ink on my hands… wow, is that rare.  But as always it was good to be creative.  I sometimes get what I guess you would call crafter’s block when I look at that blank piece of card stock, but today I opened one of my stamp drawers and picked two different stamps to use right away and had a plan.  I can’t believe I have been making my own cards for close to 25 years now and I don’t think I have ever made the same card twice.  But I do have a rather LARGE rubber stamp collection.  It really made me happy to create today.

I also connected with another friend online today.  There are about 15 to 20 people in a fibro group I have become friends with through the years and one of them was online today looking to talk.  Her son is away with his dad and her boyfriend’s dad just was diagnosed with cancer… she was feeling pretty rough.  So we chatted for a good half an hour or so.  I love the fact I can connect with others who understand fibro and all that comes with it.  I am grateful for my “fibro family” I have found.

Well another day is winding down and I have an early morning tomorrow.  We have a Memorial Day tradition I will share with you tomorrow night.  I hope you all have a nice Memorial Day.  Good night!

Happy and Grateful – Day 147

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

It was a bit nicer today.  It did rain early this afternoon and was a bit foggy in the morning… this evening and night were great for the windows to be open and getting that fresh air, well except for some of the neighbor kids that were going beyond having fun straight to screaming for no reason.  Oh well, they are kids.

I still feel much the same as the last two days.  Actually am reminded of my past today as it would have been my wedding anniversary today.  That still brings a mix of emotions.  I will forever miss the man I married…. but that was a very different man than the one I divorced and we lost to alcoholism.  So it was a pretty sad day in a lot of different ways.  But on the flip side I do remember the happiness I felt on that day long ago.  The great video my brother filmed that day.  The friends and family that was gathered.  It was a good day.  And of course I will forever be grateful to that man for giving me my greatest gift ever – my daughter.

The happiness part of the day came out of sheer terror you could say.  My boyfriend wanted to do something different.  He wanted to dye his hair purple.  I have nothing against the color at all… I have never done any kind of hair dye though so I was worried I would ruin his hair.  He picked up the color at the store and didn’t ask half the questions I would have about it.  So I studied some YouTube videos and tried to learn a little that way.   And we got it done tonight.  I think it looks pretty good.  I am really curious to see how it looks in the sunlight.  And we didn’t stain anything except an old towel.  Not bad for my first time.

Now it is time to put on some meditation music, maybe read a post or two and get some sleep.  Tomorrow is the start of a new (better?) day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 146

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Phew, it got warm today.  Ok… I guess the temperature wasn’t really that high but the humidity was up there quite a bit.  You would think a state in the middle of the county away from the massive water of the ocean would be a little dryer.  No such luck.  It is the one reason I dread Iowa summers.

I am still feeling down.  Feeling alone.  But it is nice to know there are a few of you out there that are reading my words.  And I think this blog is my happy for the day.  I may be dealing with depression but I can still focus and find at least one thing to be happy and grateful for.  That means a lot when I am like this.

I did not get a lot done today.  Had a recheck on my cholesterol today and did a little laundry.   A pretty quiet day and for that I am grateful.  The tears have been close to falling all day and I was able to clean out some of my email inbox to distract myself for a part of the day.

I never know if these days will come in a couple of days and be done, or stretch into a week or more.  I just have to ride the tide and do all I can to remember that it will pass.  I can empty some emotions onto the screen and take a little comfort in that.

Sorry this blog is kind of all over the place… I will get some more sleep hopefully and try to write a little more clearly tomorrow (technically later today).  I hope everyone has a good Memorial Day weekend!