Happy and Grateful – Day 125

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Another day with the windows open and the birds singing… life is pretty good most of the time.  I have to remind myself of that from time to time.  I guess that is a good part of why I am working on this challenge.

Today should be a great day… my boyfriend starts his vacation.  But I see it as possibly more days he is watching videos ignoring me… or days he want to go out-of-town and throw me into situations that will test my anxiety levels.  But he was in a good mood for most of the night and we had a guest for dinner – my daughter came over for tacos.

I sit now in the quiet of the night still fighting a cough from the cold I had a week ago and look back on the day.  I am happy my boyfriend can have some time off and hopefully unwind a little.  I am grateful my daughter was able to come over and visit with me tonight.  It was a good day.  🙂

Happy and Grateful – Day 124

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

It was another beautiful day today.  And the best part for me was getting to see my therapist again – he was back from vacation!  We had a lot to talk about and he once again tried to persuade me to get to an Al-Anon meeting… and tonight I did.

It was nice to work on my program tonight and try to refocus on me instead of stewing on my problems, or those things I perceive as problems.  I saw a couple of familiar faces and several new ones.  It always is good once I get past those doors… it is just trouble to get the time and energy to get there.

So my happy has to go to the return of my doctor.  And as always I am grateful for the love and comfort I feel inside the walls of any meeting I have attended in the area.  It really is an amazing fellowship.

KABOOM!

I awoke with a start

I was already panicked

Was the noise all a dream

Or was something the matter.

The sound woke me up

It was really quite loud

Was it a fire cracker going off

Or was it something more.

I looked all around inside

Peeked out through the curtains

But all seemed quite normal

Nothing held a fiery glow.

So it had to have been a dream

But I still can’t help but wonder

If some exterior sound may have

Warped my reality a bit this morning.

Happy and Grateful – Days 122 and 123

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

I feel like I am playing a game of catch up this week and never getting anywhere.  So here I am combining Tuesday and Wednesday in hopes of finally getting on the right track.

Both days brought some sunshine to me which was a nice change.  I had windows open to hear the birds singing followed by the children screaming when school gets out.  There is one girl who 90% of the time is screaming or yelling to be heard in the group of children playing…. all I can think is that my folks would never let me scream like that at the playground all the time.  But sadly there are often no parents around watching the kids.

Aside from a little fresh air, Dad had another doctor appointment and his weekly coffee “meeting” today.  So there were errands to run.  I also popped into our local library today to find a couple of DVDs to check out.  I love our library.  Besides the tons of books they have well stocked CD and DVD collections to check out.  They have plenty of events at the library.  Great programs for kids and families.  And even a concert or two in the auditorium.  It is a great library.

So my happy has to come from the sunshine and bird songs.  And I will say it a thousand times, I am so grateful for our public library!  Now I think I will read a little and head off to dreamland.

Alone With Myself…

No one to talk to

My friends are all gone

Off to their own lives

I am left with none

 

No one to talk to

My friends are all gone

Drifted away to better people

I am left with none

 

No one to talk to

My friends are all gone

Somehow offended by me

I am left with none

 

No one to talk to

My friends are all gone

Alone with my problems

I am left with a ton…

B.I.B.O.S.

Take a deep breath

Focus in on one object

Breathe even

In and out…

Be still

In and out…

Stay focused

In and out…

Become part of the object –

A person in a painting

A statue frozen in time

A cloud in the sky.

In and out…

You now have control

Anxiety will not win

In and out…

You are the master of your heartbeat

You can control your lungs

In and out…

Slowly back to reality

Your eyes on all the world around

In and out…

Remember your mantra

“Breathe in,

Breathe out,

Smile.”

Monochrome Monday – A Negative Day

This week I want to share something a little different.  It is technically still a black and white photo… it is just a negative image.  A lot of times you can get really unique pictures with this camera effect.  This was actually taken on a nice sunny day with puffy white clouds in the sky.  I hope you enjoy it…

Digimax A50 / KENOX Q2

Happy and Grateful – Day 121

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Today was … you guessed it – cloudy and rainy and cold.  In other words icky!  I guess I am glad that is all it was, no tornadoes, no floods and no snow.  Some places were not as lucky.  It still didn’t help my mood today as if anything could have cheered me up today.

My friend is headed “home” on Wednesday and I had to say goodbye to her today.  I am worried she is headed back to a messy situation and I am afraid for her.  She promises me if things are still or get bad she will hop in her car and come back here.  I want to believe her.  So today I gave her a hug and fought back tears telling her goodbye.

In spite of the tears there has to be good.  This starts a new week and my doctor is back from his vacation so I can finally talk to him about my friend returning South… I just have to hold on until Thursday.

I am still holding onto the hope that all this rain is bringing some beautiful flowers our way soon.  Now in the next few days I can hope that it will warm up and be sunny enough to take some pictures of them.

So I am happy to be looking forward to my therapist session on Thursday (and feel a little better knowing if things bother me too much my doctor is back and I can always call to talk to him before hand).  I am grateful the weather is starting to break up tonight and will bring sun and clear skies by morning.