Only The Beginning

As the bus drove away,

I turned around

Walking back into the parking lot.

At my car I got inside

And began to clutch my key chain.

It was all that was left of you,

This little chain of cord you knotted.

My heart was so empty,

I squeezed with all my might

Trying to get something

From you out of it.

I was alone and terrified

This would mean

You were out of my life forever.

Looking back now

As the years have passed,

It was the beginning of the end.

It’s just you would not admit it.

Happy and Grateful – Day 327

November brings a chill in the air and the start of the holiday gatherings of family and friends.  I can’t believe I am down to the last two month of my challenge to find happiness and feel gratitude every day.  I hope you join with me in the comments or your own blog in this challenge.  No matter how small there is always a little good in even the worst day.

Here in the US it was Thanksgiving today… well for most people it was.  My boyfriend works retail and was at work all day and my daughter spent the day with her boyfriend and his family so we are gathering for a feast on Monday when we are all able to be here. But in the spirit of Thanksgiving I reached out to a few of my friends I am truly grateful for and wished them a happy day and told them how much they mean to me.  I am grateful for my friends.

Now the happy part of the day is a little harder.  To be quite honest I was harboring a little jealousy of my daughter’s boyfriend for getting to be with her today.  First holiday with a real serious relationship and mom here is dealing with it as best as I can.  So I tried to recapture her youth and watched some kids movies today after the Macy’s parade was over.  But then I got a surprise.

I had sent off a letter last week (I think… or the week before) and the friend I sent it to called me today.  She used to live across the street from me growing up as kids and now she is halfway across the country.  It was so good to hear her voice though.  It had been far too long!  That phone call made me happy.

The lights are off, some music playing low.  My boyfriend has been asleep at least 3 hours now and I should try to do the same soon.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Calories

They hide in the shadows

And in the darkness of night

Those evil little gremlins

They can cause quite a fright

By day they disguise

As pretty little treats

They are bright and colorful

Tasty gooey sweets

But when night time comes

Into your closet they creep

And they take in your clothes

While you’re fast asleep

So take heed of this warning

And try with all your might

Not to eat too much

On the holiday nights

Happy and Grateful – Days 324, 325 and 326

November brings a chill in the air and the start of the holiday gatherings of family and friends.  I can’t believe I am down to the last two month of my challenge to find happiness and feel gratitude every day.  I hope you join with me in the comments or your own blog in this challenge.  No matter how small there is always a little good in even the worst day.

Ok… so I am a little behind.  I haven’t felt the best and I know that is no excuse for not taking 15 to 30 minutes to post this daily… I am sorry.  Monday night I fell asleep early and Tuesday I was with my daughter… so here we are on Wednesday and it is time to play catch up.

Day 324

I spent a lot of the day still worried about my friend I posted about last time.  It was a very quiet day… nowhere to go and no big plans of anything to do for the day.  So my gratitude was definitely the free time to do a little of nothing.  I was so wrapped up in nothing… I forgot all about my Monochrome Monday until today.  Let’s just say I took the week off for the coming holiday.  My happiness was watching a movie with my boyfriend.

Day 325

I woke up with a pretty sore back.  Did some of my PT exercises to try to loosen it up a bit.  Then took a nap.  Then took another… yeah two naps before my boyfriend came home at 4!  I then got kind of mad at my daughter.  She had said she would come over to do laundry and I got the impression she was talking about the early afternoon… I waited and waited, finally gave up and went to my Dad’s about 7 pm to get him dinner. Then of course she showed up.  So seeing her when I got back home did make me happy.  My gratitude would have to go to Nintendo for the day.  They came out with a version of Animal Crossing to play on the phone… I spent too much time on my phone yesterday!  LOL

Day 326

I was finally feeling a little bit better today.  I was able to make it into my craft desk and do a little card making.  I sent out two sympathy cards to friends who lost their mother this month.  Even if it is a sympathy card it makes me happy to create a little.  And tonight when I went to run a couple of quick errands I was able to talk my boyfriend into going with me, I was grateful for that.

Now I will try to stay on track the rest of my days doing this.  For the readers in America, have a happy Thanksgiving… I hope you share it with family and not employees in retail!  It is a day for togetherness not shopping.  But because I have a boyfriend in retail and a daughter in food service… our Thanksgiving will be a few days late (on Monday).  Once again I am sorry this was so late.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day

Bird In Flight

I never thought it would hit me

Or at least not this hard

The empty nest feelings

Some days they overwhelm

I know in my head

She should have a life all her own

But I feel such a loss

By not being a big part of it

There is work, friends and the love of her life

Someday there may even be children

I just have to remember

She needs that space for her own family

To build that nest of her own

Happy and Grateful – Day 323

November brings a chill in the air and the start of the holiday gatherings of family and friends.  I can’t believe I am down to the last two month of my challenge to find happiness and feel gratitude every day.  I hope you join with me in the comments or your own blog in this challenge.  No matter how small there is always a little good in even the worst day.

It has been a rough night.  A friend of mine was texting me he is having trouble dealing with his brother’s death.  I listened and tried to say what I could to make him feel better.  I don’t know that it worked, but I did what I could.  I hate not being able to help my friends when they are hurting… makes me feel like I am a failure as a friend.

But this is supposed to be happy … and today was not all so difficult.  I did connect with another friend with a nice letter I wrote today, that made me happy.  And my boyfriend and I got our shopping for Thanksgiving dinner done and for that I am grateful.

Sorry this is so short, my heart is just hurting tonight.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day.

It Is Not Your Fault

Tonight there is something

Heavy on my mind

A friend with a particular problem

And answers I can’t find

He blames himself

For his brother’s death

But there is no way

He’s the reason for his last breath

I tried to comfort him

With a few kind words

But it didn’t seem to matter

It’s as though I wasn’t heard

All I can do is lend an ear

And try to mend his heart

At least he has happy memories

And that’s a good place to start

Happy and Grateful – Day 322

November brings a chill in the air and the start of the holiday gatherings of family and friends.  I can’t believe I am down to the last two month of my challenge to find happiness and feel gratitude every day.  I hope you join with me in the comments or your own blog in this challenge.  No matter how small there is always a little good in even the worst day.

My anxiety is rattling right off the charts tonight.  You have to understand this is a pretty small town I live in. The news tonight left me shook up.  Less than a mile from where I live there was what appears to be an attempted robbery that ended up with the victim dead from a gun shot to the chest.  They do not have the suspects in custody yet.  As night falls I am more and more nervous… I know I shouldn’t be, but I am.  There just is not a high rate of crime here.  This is the first homicide of the year.  But I do have my anxiety medication to hopefully help me sleep.

So today did have some good moments.  I got a surprise visit from my daughter for a short while today.  She had gotten the wrong drink at Starbucks and brought it to me since she knew I liked chai lattes. I was happy to see her even if only for a short time.

Tonight I tried something different for dinner.  I put pork chops in the crock pot to cook with some apple butter and spiced apple rings… they came out sweet and delicious.  I was grateful they tasted good.

Well it is time to take my night-time meds and hope to sleep.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!