Happy and Grateful – Day 364

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Next to last day… and as a side note, I may be late on my last post.  My daughter will be here for a night of games so it not only is going to be waiting for midnight, but also waiting to see who wins the battle.  LOL

Today was bitter cold.  The furnace has run almost nonstop and it still feels a bit cooler in here.  But that is winter in Iowa.  Tomorrow is supposed to be the coldest day with possible record-breaking lows.  I am grateful to have the warmth and comfort of a home… I know they said on the news the homeless shelters were full tonight.

I did get to come closer to being caught up with my reading on WordPress.  If I make it much later after I post this I hope to read more.  I am happy I found the time to read today.

One last call for ideas on what I could do this next year now that my Happy and Grateful is nearly done.  I am pretty sure I still want to post nearly every day… I would be lost without my writing.  Any ideas?

Ok… time to dim the lights and read myself to sleep.  Remember to find you happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day and PLEASE celebrate New Years Eve smart… don’t drink and drive!

A Brief Taste of Life

I almost had you

I almost tasted freedom

I almost lived life fully

But my demons got in the way

You left

I became trapped

And the world passed me by

Now I have almost given up…

Happy and Grateful – Day 363

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Snow is pretty… pretty annoying too.  We got about 3 inches, which really isn’t much but it is one of the first all day snows we have had and it is cold… and only going to get worse.  This is Friday night and there is a wind chill advisory until Tuesday.  Ugh!  But I had to go out today… needed my prescriptions refilled and had a gift to return (wrong size) and then my daughter offered to take us out to lunch.  So I was out in the thick of it.  I was grateful there was not the freezing drizzle they had in some areas at least.

Now if you have read my blog you know I worry… about everything.  That is the nature of anxiety and depression.  But I was happy to hear from my daughter via a text message that she arrived at work ok (about a 20 to 30 minute drive away).  Often she forgets when I ask her to let me know so I was happy she didn’t.

All the tension from my first winter driving of the year has left my back in knots.  So I sit on a heating pad and took my pain meds and hope to sleep soon.  So forgive me if my writing does not make sense, I am not thinking quite clearly.

Only two more posts…. but a year worth of awareness has been great.  I hope you find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Event Expectations

Expensive evening gown,

Extravagant emerald earrings…

Experiencing an elegant evening

Eating Eastern cuisine

Entertaining important emissaries –

Employment extras.

Happy and Grateful – Day 362

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

I have a tough week ahead of me.  I have homework from my therapist to do.  Writing down my pain (physical and emotional) in a diary.  It is part of acceptance therapy he is working with me on and as often as I have painful thoughts these days I will be writing all day long.  It is going to be tough to do, but I have already noticed some changes since we started this workbook and we are only 60 pages into the 200 page book.  So I am going into this week hopeful and scared at what I will learn about myself, but determined to get it accomplished.  For these last few days I hope I can do both.  I already had to note my sadness as I wrote my poem for “cozy.”

Besides seeing my doctor and watching the snow pile up… I did take my Dad to the clinic.  I was grateful the main roads were mostly clear of the snow and I didn’t slide around too much.  Now we are in for another system of about 3 more inches…only 81 days, 10 hours and 30 minutes until spring.  But who is counting?

I did relax a bit tonight and watch a movie with my boyfriend.  He got the new Kingsman movie for Christmas and we watched it.  It was good but it was another one of those movies with whispered dialog, so you turn the volume up but get BLASTED out of your chair when an action scene comes up.  I just sat in the quiet after it was over happily hearing nothing but the soft hum of the furnace running.

Ok… I am STILL behind on reading posts.  Let’s see how far I can get before my meds kick in tonight.  Please remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

 

A Blanket

As the snow falls

And winter descends

Remember your blanket

Is more than some have

 

This bitter cold bites

And endangers those without

A blanket around them

To ward off the cold

 

So tonight as you pull

The blanket up to your chin

Remember with compassion

Others don’t have

… a cozy blanket

Happy and Grateful – Day 361

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Today has been a day to try to recover.  Still fighting fatigue and tonight the pain is pretty moderate.  But the worst part is the depression.  I often feel this let down after the holidays.  I get so wrapped up in the festivities, that when it is over I crash hard.  Plus we had bitter cold and snow tonight… my least favorites.  I would love to sleep in tomorrow and curl up with a book, but Dad has an appointment in the late morning and I have one late afternoon.  So I try to focus on the good and am grateful that I know this wont last forever.

I did receive another card in the mail today and that made me happy.  It was from a friend I used to work with.  It is always good to hear from my friends.

I will keep this post short.  I have already slept some tonight and now it is time to grab my blanket and curl up for the night.  The winds have at least died now some, but it is still going to be below zero.

Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

The Truth

It should be no surprise

The way I feel for you

If I were to confess the truth

It would be beyond the love of friendship

It would be physical yearning I cannot stop

It would be an emotion so strong it is beyond words

But what good is the truth when nothing will ever happen

It is just more pain and disappointment for me

Because it will never be…

Happy and Grateful – Days 359 & 360

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

So much holiday activity left me really fatigued… forgive me for being a little late again.

Day 359

Christmas was busy.  We packed up the spicy chili that had simmered all night long and went to my boyfriend’s sister’s house to be there for a noon lunch.  I was grateful the roads did not have much snow and ice on them so it was an easy drive there and back.  After a few hours there we returned home to spend the remainder of the afternoon and evening with my daughter.  It was a wonderful holiday.

I handled the day without taking an anti-anxiety pill and was proud of that achievement.  It is always a challenge to balance the good of the day with how all the people will affect me.  I tend to shy away from a lot of conversation and focus in on the joy seen through the eyes of the children.  My boyfriend has two great-nieces who are almost 2 and a 4-year-old great-nephew, watching them was a joy.

One of my challenges of the season is finding that “ideal” gift and we did pretty well this year.  But of course the best thing was spending time with my daughter.  She was not able to stay late as she had to open at work the next morning and I needed to runs some dinner to my Dad’s house anyway.  It was a busy but happy day.

Day 360

This was the day of recovery… but I had to take my Dad to the clinic for a blood draw and an appointment with the dietitian so no rest for me.  Dad had me a little concerned as he forgot the doctor he was seeing and once in the office he confused his cell phone for his blood sugar meter.  Otherwise he seemed fine other than back and leg pain that was worse yesterday.  I was happy the doctor was pleased with how his blood sugar was running.

I did get a chance to put my feet up and relax last night though.  And my boyfriend brought home the belated Christmas present that was not in stock before Christmas.  It is a heated massage mat to use in my recliner for my back.  I am planning on breaking it out when I am done writing to see how it works.  Even if it is just for the heat alone it will soothe my back… I am grateful for that.

I have babbled on far enough now.  I hope to get back on track tonight.  There are just a handful of days left… then a whole new year to explore what ever comes next.  Try to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful day/night!

Bird Poems

There once was a girl with the proclivity

To show of her natural creativity

by writing down words

about her favorite birds

and it became her much loved activity