Mumbles… my tardy life

I see the word tardy and I instantly think of my days in school, especially in junior high. I am not sure why I struggled so then, but I managed to get a couple of detentions for my tardies. Then I joined the work force after I was done with school and had a job where you were not allowed to clock in even a minute early so I ended up waiting until the last-minute to leave and on more than one occasion I was tardy again. Then as jobs change…

I ended up in a daytime job. By this time I knew I was NOT a morning person at all, but it was a good job and I needed daytime hours to offset my husband’s night hours so we didn’t need a babysitter very often for our daughter.

Life became chaotic with a spouse who was a “functioning alcoholic” and me trying to do everything to keep that fact hidden from our daughter. Sleep suffered greatly and guess who was once again late? We adjusted my schedule a little and it worked for a while. Then I got sick.

I have depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia and all of it affects sleep in some way. The tardies increased, I got warnings at work, I tried a short leave of absence to balance my life out. Then my mother died. and the emotions got worse.

My husband and I separated and I began to have panic attacks on the way to work. Needless to say I could not drive in that condition, so I was again tardy. Working with my doctor we set up an intermittent leave of absence for my panic attacks. That worked until I was tardy so often my maximum leave of absence time was used up. So I left work.

Now I have to work through anxiety before appointments so I am not late, which doesn’t always work. I often push a 15 minute window beyond a set time to arrive to gatherings with family and friends. I have decided it is just in my genes to be tardy. I just try to do the best I can and if I miss something because of it that is something I just have to live with. … heck, I am even tardy posting on here for the daily prompts. Will you forgive the perpetually late person in me? LOL

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