Month: May 2018

I Don’t

The ceremony started right at one o’clock with the groom and groomsmen entering the church. The bridesmaids entered and the music grew louder signaling the bride to come in. Everyone turned in their seats to see her enter, but she wasn’t there.

The bride stood in front of the mirror in jeans and a t-shirt placed the note on the table and quietly went out the back door. She would not put up with the lies anymore. She had suspected an affair, but today’s truth was too much. He could be with the other women. She felt so free now.

Mr. Goodbar And Friends

Famous Amos cookie wrappers
Littered on the floor
Empty ice cream tub
In sight in the trash
And a chocolate bar
Gripped tightly
Melting in my hand
Stress drives me to eat
And later regret
Another long night
Baffled by your silence
Hurt by your abandon
And desperate for your touch
While I feed my obsession
You slip further away
And I just lose all hope

The Inside My Head Tag

I am finally getting around to a Tag Anita at Discovering Your Happiness  tagged me in nearly a month ago – I didn’t forget, I’m just slow.  LOL  Thanks again Anita!!

the-inside-my-head-tag

Rules:

  • Thank and tag the person who has tagged you.
  • Attach the tag photo
  • Answer the questions
  • Tag 10-20 friends

Now let’s get started…

 

How do I feel at the moment?
– I am warm, just came back from watching the “big” Memorial Day parade in town… it lasts like 3 minutes, maybe 5 if you stretch it out a little.  🙂

What do I need more in my life?
– Friends that communicate more.

What would make me happy right now?
– To have more seasonable weather, is it running about 15 degrees or more above the “normal” spring temperatures – IT’S HOT!

What is going right in my life?
-My therapy.  I still have bad days but I am headed in the right direction.

What am I most grateful for? List 10 things.
– 1) a home 2) my daughter 3) my family in general 4) food in the cupboards 5) my doctors who help keep me on track 6) music, it keeps me company 7) my friends, I may not hear from them as often as I like but they are the “family” I chose 8) my blog, it helps me clear my head and exercise my brain (and I get to communicate with all you great people!)

When did I experience joy this week?
– This morning sharing the parade and some breakfast pizza with my family on the parade route.

List a small victory/success?
– My blog is still growing and gathering views and followers, I never thought people would want to read my words.

What is bothering me & why?
– My fibro, the pain and stiffness is a little higher today.

What are my priorities at the moment?
– Getting a new plan in place for a replacement of the WP daily prompts that are stopping.

What do I love about myself?
– This is a hard one for me, I struggle with self worth.  I would say my creativity.

Who means the world to me & why?
– My daughter, she has grown into a responsible, kind, motivated, amazing, young woman in spite of me as a mom.  She is independent and strong and inspires me.

If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?
– People deserve a second chance.

What advice would I give to my younger self?
– Be careful who you trust.

What lesson did I learn this week?
– This week has just started, but last week I learned or was reminded to be honest with myself first and foremost.

If I had all the time in the world, what would I do first?
– Craft more.

What’s draining my energy?
– Fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety or should I answer WHAT energy?

What does my ideal morning look like?
– Sleeping in!  LOL  😉

What does my ideal day look like?
– Wake up when my body is ready to face the day.  Have some time for reading blogs and looking at emails.  Spend some time with my daughter. Do a little crafting and spend the evening with my boyfriend. And finally a little time to read more blogs and emails and do a little writing.

What makes me come alive?
– Seeing my daughter and good music on my good days.

What/who inspires me the most?
– My daughter and my best friend.

Where does my pain originate?
– Fibro is not picky.  It will attack any and all parts of the body whenever it feels like it.  I do tend to have more back pain right now.

What are my strengths?
– Kindness to a fault, creativity…

What is something I’ve always wanted but too scared to get?
– An RV to travel the US alone.

What is something I would love to learn?
– ASL (American Sign Language)

Where would I want to live my ideal life?
– I actually like where I live.  It is small enough to not be a crowded mess and big enough that there is plenty to do in town or just a short drive away.  We get all four seasons (when Mother Nature is not messed up – snow this April and record high temperatures this weekend).

Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years?
– Minnesota (Mall of America), Omaha (family there) and Montana (best friend)

What can I do to take better care of myself?
– Eat better food and smaller portions and exercise more when I can

What hobbies would I like to try?
– I would like to have the money and energy to golf.  For something more realistic I would like to do some scrapbooking and painting.

When have I done something that I thought I couldn’t do?
– When I got a divorce and got my first place “on my own.”

At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?

– My daughter is my biggest legacy… otherwise I would like to put forth something in my writing that touches or inspires at least one other person.

 

Now to tag others… I struggle some with rules.  I tag EVERYONE to do this informative blog.  No really, if you want to do this PLEASE do and share your link with me so I can see your answers.  Have some fun and share a little!

Mumbles … 29th Anniversary

They say that everyone has a double, a doppelganger if you will, and that was true with him.  I first saw a resemblance to Kenny Loggins but as his star rose, everyone compared him to Jim Carrey. I wrote a long story about him…. but as today would have been our 29th anniversary I think I owe him the respect of privacy. No details except he was sick, an alcoholic. I wasn’t strong enough to stay in the end and he wasn’t strong enough to quit. He has been gone more than three years. Although we divorced I still to this day miss that man I married all those years ago, trouble was he “left” long before his health failed. Alcoholism is an ugly disease and it effects so many more people than you realize. My heart has been forever broken by it.

Mumbles … HELP!

Well I feel I must apologize for a couple of things. One of course is that I have been way behind on reading post, but I am also a little behind on writing, which brings me to a problem. I said at the start of this year that I would do the daily word prompts all year… that is now not going to happen with word press stopping the daily prompts, among other things. So here is where you can help me. I need daily inspiration to write… do you know of a daily prompt or challenge I could use to keep the creative juices flowing? If so I would love for you to add a link in the comments. It may end up that I just do a couple of weekly prompts and fill in the rest as my muses will allow. I am sad to see the daily prompts go… but some of them were not even good triggers for poetry. Maybe this is a chance to expand on my fiction writing too. Any and all help is greatly appreciated!

Now I need to get back to reading and think a little on archaic… is there a poem with such a word? Only the muses know! Have a great day/night!

The Mask Is Back

It had been my assumption
That I was ok,
But with a closer look
I found I was fooling myself.
Wearing a mask again
And struggling to get through,
Alone surrounded by people
And isolated by my depression.
I am back where it began
And blaming myself again.
If I scream out would anyone hear?
Is there anyone who would even care?