Mumbles … onerous

According to a google search onerous is ” involving an amount of effort and difficulty that is oppressively burdensome.” It lists synonyms as being heavy, burdensome, crushing, difficult, hard… My mind is in a mess right now and every thought is heavy, crushing and difficult. To create a coherent thought into a sentence is burdensome and hard. I watched my Dad take his last breath tonight, but I have to write. I have to let some words out along with the tears. I have to try to find a little normalicy to ground me.

We just put Dad into hospice care. We had a meeting Wednesday with staff that he should have 24/7 care. We implimented that with staffing from Home Instead by Thursday. He had his first comfort meds on Thursday and just that fast he is gone tonight.

I am sitting up waiting to call a few people in the early morning before they start their days. I can’t see a call in the middle of the night disrupting their sleep when there is nothing they can do.

This is not much of a post, but I have rewritten it three times. I think I will accept this version and post it. There may be a lot of my Dad in my upcoming posts. He was a wonderful man, who is greatly missed.

 

Written for (my peace of mind and) Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – onerous

12 thoughts on “Mumbles … onerous”

  1. So sorry to hear about your loss. I know how difficult it can be to watch a parent take their last breathe in front of your eyes. I hope you find a way to find peace in your heart. Your strength in being able to write a post during this sad time of mourning, makes me think you are stronger than you realize. Mourn your loss and shed your tears.

    I do want to remind you of one thing, you father will always live and breathe inside your heart. Little solace, I know, but you will learn to treasure those memories.

    May your father always rest in peace.
    May you find the peace you need.

    Hugs . xoxo

  2. Death is a strange thing. Many people know the pain of losing a loved one. It’s heart-wrenching and horrible. But death can also affect us in a good way. It brings relief to those who suffer. Not only to the dying but their loved-ones, too. I very clearly remember my mother’s death. I was there holding her hand and she was smiling. It was a beautiful death. I hope that your Dad had something similar. I really hope that through the pain and loss that you can get to the point where you are thankful that he is no longer suffering. It might take a long time of mourning before you see it that way, but I really hope you can. Sending hugs… 🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗

    1. I do understand about him being at peace finally. He was struggling greatly to breathe easy on Saturday. He no longer is faced with the confusion and frustration of dementia. Thanks much for your words of encouragement and a big thanks for the hugs!

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