Mumbles … noble

“Tears are the noble language of the eye.” – Robert Herrick

I sit here in the dark with tears welling in my eyes… I fight to keep them from falling.  I miss the time I was spending with my Dad no matter how hard it was seeing him in decline.  In one week we will have our gathering/visitation to remember him. I am already dealing with anxiety over being in a room with so many people OR being disappointed by how few show up.  I remember back to his retirement party and the room it was held in was full, with people standing outside in the hall to hear the festivities.

I am slowly still going through posts while daily remembering people we forgot to contact.  I let two more people know today and thought of one more to contact tomorrow.  I am trying to go about a normal day as possible but it just isn’t easy.  As you can see I am not really writing about noble I am just writing.  I am so far behind and know as we clean out Dad’s house there will be more chronic fatigue to deal with.  So I say it again… I will get to your posts as soon as I can.  I keep trying to move forward.  Some days are easier than others, and this has been a hard night.  Doing something I normally did for Dad was to pick up things at Walmart… tonight when I went there it hit me that those trips for Dad are done.  Just kind of took the wind out of my sails.

I will stop with my babbling fingertips now.  My eyes have gone from filled with tears to struggling to stay open.  Thanks for putting up with me straggling behind the daily posts and reading.  Good night!

 

Written for (my peace of mind and) Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – noble

10 thoughts on “Mumbles … noble”

  1. I know you’re struggling with the loss of your father, but things will get better in time. I lost both of my parents and it’s hard to deal with, but after a while, although you’ll never stop missing him, your pain will ease up.

    1. Thank you so much Fandango. I know my Mom has been gone more than 8 years now and I still will have moments that I want to pick up the phone and tell her something, like she never left. I think when we have our gathering it will help me say goodbye to Dad,

  2. It takes time. Allow yourself to go through all the stages and sometimes even go backwards. It doesn’t matter how many people show, it matters that you are there to remember him.

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