Life Changes

I close my eyes and try to calm my life.  Since he left I have found it easier to manage the day to day, but there are those every once in a while things that are rough.  For the first time in my life I had to unclog a drain with a snake; it was pretty easy, although messy.  I had to worry about health insurance.  I went from my parent’s policy to his.  And I had to find my first place all my own; once again from my parents house to his.

I am aware of a relief from his absence, but down the road there may come a day I am not so sure of being alone.  Now it is just a weight that has been lifted.  I no longer have to worry about what he is doing and when he will be sober.  Not that I could control it anyway.  No more broken things in the middle of the night.  No more incoherent words.  No more worries of when will he get behind the wheel and go buy more.

***

Two years later I realized I missed him.  I should say I missed the man I married.  But tragedy had struck.  His body had enough of the disease and began to shut down, until the day he was found in his bed, gone from life far too soon.  Me left wondering if there was anything I could have done earlier to slow or stop the disease.  But I remind myself… I didn’t cause it, can’t control it, and I couldn’t cure it.  Unfortunately neither could he.

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – manage

Let Me Off Of This Ride

The feeling is dragging me down

Deeper and deeper into the darkness

Your silence

Chaos of life

And self-loathing

Rip me apart

But I know I will get through it

The rough days are only temporary

I will get to the other side

Like I have been before

If I can just hold on to the ride until then

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – temporary

Morning Routine

I watch you stretch and yawn

Your early morning voice mesmerizes me

A little bit sleepy, slow and deeper than usual

I lay in bed as you move around the room

To the dresser, then to the shower

And I watch you undress

Every movement you make touches my heart

I am in awe of the fact you’re mine

And I hope I never lose this simple love

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – movement

When I Am With You

You touch me gently

I hesitate

You kiss me softly

I hesitate

You take me in your arms

I imagine

You kiss my neck

I imagine

You hold me tighter

I anticipate

You kiss me passionately

I anticipate

You lead me to the bed

I dream

You begin to undress me

I dream

You explore all that I am

I succumb

You encompass me in passion

I succumb

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – hesitate

Speaking the Truth

The candidate was irreverent to the existing school board and declared them all “incompetent fools” at the meeting the week of the general elections.  Most people thought that would ruin his chances, but there were enough parents who were upset over the closing of the elementary school they had just funded a new gym and music room for.  It appeared the district was ready for some big changes the way they voted.  In spite of his irreverence, the candidate was there to usher in a new era for the Janesville school district.

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – irreverent