Devouring You

My best just wasn’t good enough

I couldn’t cure your pain

I tried everything I could think of

And everything you asked

It still wasn’t enough for you

She was “the other woman”

The one you leaned on

The one you drowned your sorrows in

And she was vicious

Little by little taking away who you were

She took you away from me

Slowly she ate away at you inside

Destroying your life, taking your job

Ultimately taking you away from all of us

I will never forgive her for what she did

I do have to find a way though

To forgive myself for failing you

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – best

Fandango’s Friday Flashback – January 3

I am glad to be able to have caught up enough to sneak this post in today.  I have missed doing these FFFs.  This week we go back to January 3rd, 2017  with a post that was originally here.

 

Silence

When the silence hits

It cuts to the bone.

 

There are no more angry words

No more tears

No more smiles

No more laughter

No more moments of tenderness

 

…just utter silence

Stillness

Solitude

Emptiness

Loneliness

 

Since you’ve been

Gone.

Birthday Dinner

She sat by the telephone and picked up the receiver.  The voice on the other end spoke, “This is Maple Wood Grill how may I help you?”

“Yes I was calling to see if you could accommodate a large group tonight and if I need to make reservations.”

“How many will be in your group?”

There will be 9 of us all together, one is a highchair.”

“Okay, we only take reservations for groups of 10 or more.  But can usually work a group your size in within a half an hour.”

“Great, see you in an hour or two.”

 

(100 words)

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – accommodate

Mumbles … Honest

This should just be a day like all the rest.  But to be honest, I am a bit of a wreck today.  Seventeen years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It was treated with surgery, chemo and radiation and hasn’t come back.  However, I go in yearly now for my mammograms and every year, no matter how long ago my cancer was, I still worry it will return.  It is about an hour and forty-five minutes away from the test and I can hardly sit still.  I know the odds are in my favor logically, but every year I still worry.

Just a short time after my treatments were done, a woman I knew, who was going through cancer round three, was diagnosed and died from brain cancer.  Another woman I was acquainted with had to have a double mastectomy for her cancer.  I just think of how much worse it could have been or might become and I panic.

The test is a piece of cake.  I was smashed a lot that first year or two.  Nothing will ever be as bad as the needle localized biopsy when they had to leave me in the machine to insert a needle and then check to make sure they got it in the right place… I was probably in the machine 5 to 10 minutes, but it seemed like FOREVER.  So just a regular mammogram is easy.

I am going to try to read some more posts and keep my mind off things.  Worst is I probably won’t hear back from them until Monday or Tuesday.  Oh well, I do have my anxiety meds if I need them.  So, I will stop mumbling for now and go read some more blogs.  Anything to keep my mind busy.

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – honest

Next Chapter

Don’t look over your shoulder

Keep your head held high

Walk into the future

Knowing this is for the best

 

This chapter may be ending

But there are many pages ahead

Your story is far from over

This was all there to learn from

 

So, discard the pain and hurt

Carrying only forward

With pleasant memories

Of how things once were

 

Forgiveness for the wrongs done

Will also heal you too

So, don’t hold onto anger

Always remember the love

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – ending

Mumbles … Musical

This is a prompt I can really enjoy.  As a matter of fact, I love musicals.  I remember as a kid seeing some of the lavish musical productions in movies that my mom would watch.  I always thought the ones with the synchronized swimmers were amazing.  I am blanking right now on who the star from those musicals was.  I keep thinking Esther…. We’ll come back to that.

Then about 5th or 6th grade Grease came out.  I LOVED that movie.  Saved up money and went to see it six times in the theaters!  My friend across the street had the soundtrack and we used to always sing along with it and wish we were Olivia Newton John.  My obsession just went on from there.

chords sheet on piano tiles
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I even passed it on to my daughter, watching musicals with her growing up.  Of course, all the wonderful music in the Disney movies was how it started.  When she was maybe 3 or 4, we got the stage production of Cats and she loved to dance and sing with it.  So, logically when the touring company came to town my husband and I took her to see it live.  She loved it.

We went on to Chicago, Rent, and Across the Universe.  We had high hopes the genre may be back when La La Land came out.  It did okay but was not a big hit.  Unfortunately, we also went to see the new film production of Cats.  I won’t say I hated it, but it was so much different from the stage production.  There was a nice addition of a tap dance number that wasn’t in the stage production, but it will probably not make it to my DVD shelves.

Now I have a couple of new DVDs from Christmas that are musicals. I think I need to start adding some of those classic ones to my list.  Now I must go listen to “The Tango Maureen” – bonus points if you know what musical that song is from.  Oh, and yes, it was Esther.  Esther Williams, I believe was the star of a lot of the swimming musicals.  ♫♪

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – musical

Weekly Song Challenge, Round 38

Laura is back with the first song challenge of the new year with round 38.  This week the songs we need are five songs about new beginnings, or endings or looking forward.

Rules are easy:

Copy rules and add to your own post, pinging back to the original post.
Post music videos for your answers to the musical questions.
Tag two people to participate! Let anyone join it.

And so we begin…

Let’s start with this one

And then a little Bette

And we can start over

This one was the theme song for the movie “Foul Play”

These new shoes are great

And by now you know I don’t tag, I invite everyone to join in.  Have some musical fun!

Sunshine Blogger Award

About a million years ago Sadje over at Keep It Alive nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award.  With a new year upon us I am trying to catch up and tie up the loose ends of 2019.  So without further ado….

About Sunshine Blogger Award:
It is given to those who are creative, positive and inspiring while spreading sunshine to the blogging community.

 

The rules are simple:

  1. Nominate 11 people and notify them via comment Let anyone who wants to play along
  2. Ask them 11 new questions
  3. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog
  4. Display the award logo on your blog post
  5. Answer the 11 questions asked

Sadje’s Questions:

Why did you start blogging?

It was a way to release some of the emotions that were eating away at me with my depression and anxiety… it has grown into something much more and I would be lost without it.

Do your friends and family support you in blogging?

They know I have a blog but no one really asks about it or has seen it as it is an anonymous blog.

What would be your dream job?

Being unable to work just about any job would be welcomed if I was able.  But I have always dreamed of being a song writer.

What are your ambitions for the coming year?

To lose some weight and over all eat healthier.  To continue to write daily (time willing) and to do all I can to live a giving, caring kind life.

How do you think the world is going to cope with the challenges we are facing?

Unless we elect a new leader this year, poorly.  We need someone who understands climate change and compassion for all people.

What would be your ideal holiday vacation?

One of two places…. to see mountains or the ocean.

What is the quality you admire in yourself?

I both admire and at times despise my ability to love deeply.

What is the quality you admire in others?

Compassion.

What is your pet peeve?

When I worked retail it was people who didn’t push their carts all the way into the cart rack.  Now it is probably people who talk loudly on their phones in public.

Are you a book reader? If so how many books do you read in a month?

I used to be an avid book reader.  With the fibromyalgia I have some short term memory issues (fibro fog) and often find it hard to follow a book.  I do still try to read almost daily even if it is rereading what I just read the night before.  I probably get through a book in a month or two at this rate.

What aspect of your personality you would like to change?

My inability to let go or stop caring for someone even when they hurt me terribly.

 

My questions:

  1. What is your favorite game to play?
  2. Who do you most admire?
  3. Have you ever had to sit in a jury?
  4. If you could get away with a crime, what would you do?
  5. Are you a night owl or an early bird?
  6. Do you have any tattoos?
  7. If you could invite anyone famous over for lunch, who would it be?
  8. What is one place you would like to visit?
  9. CDs, MP3, or vinyl?
  10. You never leave home without what?
  11. Roller coaster, ferris wheel or merry-go-round?

 

Now is the time to nominate but I hate to leave anyone out so consider yourselves all nominated!

And I need to thank Sadje for nominating me, she is an awesome blogger!