With Feeling

comedy and tragedy

The truth is hidden within

And should not be kept silent

Express your feelings

May they be good or bad

Let your loved ones

Know that they matter

It’s ok to cry when you hurt

Laugh when there is happiness

And scream with anger

Locking down your feelings

For far too long

Can leave you with only

The loss of expression

And an empty hollow life

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – express

and for those of you still with me a little bonus…

Fandango’s Friday Flashback – April 24th

I have a picture of my grandpa on a shelf of my bookcase.  Any photographer would look at it and say it was either underexposed for seeing him or over exposed for a silhouette.  But it is one of my favorite pictures of him.  It has a air of mystery to it that I love.  And it puts him there by a lake in his ball cap (he always wore one fishing) looking at the horizon.  I believe that picture inspired me the day I wrote this back in 2017, originally published here.  Today I share if for FFF.

On The Lake

He was an avid fisherman

Would cast out his line

And be off in another world

Lost in the peace of the day

Soaking up the sun

Admiring the view

Living in the moment

Focused only on the rod

Waiting for that first slight bend

Hoping to catch the big one

 

I have to believe

He is still out on a lake

Catching one after another

At the whim of the wind

Wearing the wings of an angel

A to Z Challenge – U

A2Z 2020 logo

The letter U …

There is a lot going on in the world.  A lot of it revolves around a tiny little germ – the corona virus.  As I have mentioned before I have anxiety and this pandemic is not helping it at all.  Then the depression is intensified by the thousands who have died.  But I still go on.

My fibromyalgia is treating me pretty good today.  It hasn’t been too bad of a week even.  Really just sleep problems – can’t get to sleep, trouble waking up (that is due to medication to sleep I think), and the unexpected naps I take.  The aches are always there to some degree, but I am not curled up in pain, I can sit up and write, read and I have made it up and down the stairs a few times today fairly easily.  A shower did not completely wipe me out.  Bottom line is, I am upright and for that I am grateful.

Dinner On Hold

blurry photo of a person pouring red wine in wine glass beside assorted foods
Photo by Ekrulila on Pexels.com

The table was set for two and dinner was just about ready.  She had just opened to wine to breathe.  Her cell phone rang, and Mandy answered it, “Hello.  Yes, this is Mandy Ivers.”  After a long pause she continued with a shaky voice.  “Are you sure?  He should have been closer to the east side of the city about now?  Yes, of course.  I will be there as soon as I can.”

Mandy drove to the hospital the gentleman on the phone had told her that her husband was in.  She approached the registration desk and inquired about her husband.  The receptionist said, “I will page the doctor for you.”

What seemed like forever, Mandy waited.  The doctor arrived and led her to a consultation room.  “Mrs. Ivers I am sorry to tell you that your husband was in a serious crash.  He is in surgery right now and it will be a crucial night for him after he is out of surgery.”

“What is wrong?”

“From what the paramedic told me he was hit by a driver running a red light.  He at least has broken bones, a collapsed lung and some internal bleeding.  We will know more when the surgeon comes out to speak to you.  It should be within the hour.”

The doctor left Mandy all alone and she began to sob.  Jeff was her world.  What would she do without him?  They had tickets to go to Vegas next month, he couldn’t miss that!  The door opened and the surgeon stepped in removing his mask.

“How is my husband?”

“He is weak, but stable.  He will be in the iCU tonight and if all goes well, we will move him to a private room tomorrow.  You can go home and get some rest or if you would like there is a ICU waiting room where you can stretch out on the couch and if there is any change the nurse will let you know.”

“Can I see him now?”

“Maybe later in the night, he is still in recovery from the surgery.”

Mandy sighed and said, “Okay.”

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – dinner

A to Z Challenge – T

A2Z 2020 logo

The letter T …

I was so excited when I turned 15, I have a phone line put in my bedroom and had my own independent number.  I could talk to my friends and not have to be in a room full of people.  I was in heaven.  Little did I know in a short 12 to 13 years later I would have my first cell phone as it was important for me to have one in case of a problem with our new daughter.  That phone was one of the first with texting, but you had to touch the key multiple times to get the right letter.  It was a pain to text.  And the phone was also a heavy wide phone with a flimsy antenna.  I upgraded to a filp phone and still had the texting trouble, but it was smaller.

Now a days, I use the camera on my phone.  Play some games on it and am a good friend with Google.  I can pull up maps and get directions.  I use the alarms and calendar reminders.  I can go to Facebook and WordPress and catch up a bit.  I have unlimited data and feel naked if I don’t have my phone with me.  It is a lifeline still to friends and family… I am so grateful for my telephone.

apps business cellphone cellular telephone
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

A to Z Challenge – S

A2Z 2020 logo

The letter S…

I never had a brother growing up but I always wanted one.  On TV big brothers were always standing up for their little sisters, actual big sisters doing this, not so much.  But I can see when she was a teenager she did not want her little sister always tagging along with her and her friends.  Kids grow up and change some though.  Now that mom and dad are both gone; besides my daughter, she is all I have except for one aunt and uncle in Nebraska and a small handful of cousins.

My sister has grown closer to me ever since my cancer diagnosis and the following divorce about 7 years later.  I was the “peace keeper” between her and mom, or at least I tried to be.  They were both alike, stubborn and set in their ways.  Later when I would take care of our dad in his failing health she wanted to put an end to me doing it as she could see the toll it was taking on me.  Caregiving is a physical and emotional draining action.  She was the one who suggested I take at least one night a week off.

Now it is just the two of us.  She is only about 4 blocks away in a house with her boyfriend of 18 years I believe now.  We stay in touch with email and occasionally I still get letters for Dad that I have her look at to make sure I am not throwing away something important.

My sister and I may not be as close as some, but I do love her and I am grateful she is in my life.

CrAzY tAlK

Can not fly in the house or kiss the tip of my elbow.

Reluctant to frown, it always ends in tears.

Absolutely will never be normal, Abby is my name.

Zany to a fault, always mine.

Your daytime nightmare, don’t forget the pillow fight.

 

…if that isn’t crazy, I don’t want to know what is. 🤪

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – CrAzY

Grandma’s Globe

butterfly snow globe
from google image search

She ducked as he threw the snow globe across the room.  It hit the wall and shattered with water splashing up.  She was furious.  He knew that globe had been the last gift from her mom who passed away five years ago.  “Do you feel all big and tough now that you broke that?  Or are you out to destroy a little bit more of me?”

They had fought before but never like this.  He usually just turned quiet if she raised her voice.  That would make her madder and him quieter withdrawing from any communication.  Her last resort was to leave the room and usually set out to the sidewalks to try to walk off some of the hurt, pain and anger.  This was the first time he tried to hit her with something.

She was most relieved that their daughter was at a friend’s house for a sleep over.  She tried so hard to protect her from all of this, her father’s drinking and self-destructive manor.  How would she explain the globe being broken though?  She too knew it was her mom’s favorite thing from grandma.  Just another mess of his she would have to clean up.

She walked for about thirty minutes and figured he was either gone or passed out drunk by now.  She went back in the house and grabbed the broom and a towel to clean up the glass and water.  Sure enough, he was passed out in his recliner.  She just left him there and went to find a friend on the internet to talk to.

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – globe

A to Z Challenge – R

The letter R …

One of the few things I would be lost without is my music.  That used to mean my transistor radio I won for selling Camp Fire Girls candy.  As I grew so did my radio up to a boom box in the 80’s.  Then there seemed to be a shrink back down in size to an MP3 player.  Of course, my car has given me many hours of music with my radio.  And when I bought my “new” used car I got a sample of satellite radio.  Lots of channels to choose from, especially off of my laptop!  But I am not going to pay to hear my music other than the occasional CD or downloaded album.

I am happy with my local radio stations.  And several of them are accessible through the internet as well.  I often let my favorite station play while I write.  I can listen to oldies, songs from my youth (70’s and 80’s), millennial hits, or todays favorites.  I listed to country, pop or rock.  But whatever music I am in the mood for, it can be found with my radio and I grateful for that.

 

And as an added bonus here’s an old track I bet many of you have not heard…

Mumbles … Screen

food-snack-popcorn-movie-theater-33129
Photo from Pexels

The days of the silver screen may be over.  People have been getting by with Netflix and Apple TV, Hulu and Prime Video.  There may not be Blockbusters left, but there are Redbox machines if you want to risk the germs from the last person who had that DVD.  To try to survive this Corona Virus shutdown the local theater is popping up bags of popcorn on the weekend and will sell you candy as well.  There really is nothing quite as good as movie theater popcorn… except the popcorn my Dad used to make on the stove years ago.

Now back when I was able to work there were people who would watch movies and TV shows on their phones in the breakroom.  I am afraid there are a lot of movies with great cinematography that will not come through on such a small screen.

If people get comfortable in their homes watching the first run movies, will theaters be able to survive?  Personally, I love a movie on the big screen, just not too happy about the prices.  There is no way of knowing until this pandemic runs its course and we can maybe get used to a new normal.  Time will tell.

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – screen