And an aching emptiness that is devoid of everything worthwhile
Every inch of my being hurts
And a simple walk up the stairs takes forever
All because I know you wont be there
At the top of the stairs to hold me
You wont be in the living room to laugh with
And you wont share a meal from the kitchen
Your presence has meant so much during this time together
It creates a tenderness so sensitive to think of you gone
I know it is not forever
Six months is not an eternity
But seeing your bus pull away
Left me bruised and beaten by loneliness
I had to put my boyfriend on the bus to head home tonight… so very hard to do. We have been together more than 6 weeks and it really hurt to see those bus tail lights. I know the next six month until I see him again will not go by near as fast at the time we spent together… but it will pass in time. I just had to post tonight as ‘devoid’ was the word of the day and that fit so well with the emptiness that I feel right now. I will pull up my big girl panties and carry on until he comes back, but for right now I just hurt.
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – devoid
According to Merriam Webster a fanatic person is “a person who is extremely enthusiastic about and devoted to some interest or activity.” Going from that definition, I would have to say at least in my teens and into early twenties I was a fanatic about music, going to concerts and most especially the Oak Ridge Boys.
I could tell you the names of the singers, band members and a large portion of the crew that toured with them. I was a member of their fan club and in total have seen them over fifteen times easily. Used to be I could recite all the shows and most of the dates they happened… I am getting old though and memory is a problem with fibro too so I can’t recall all of them so easily now.
What I was just talking to my boyfriend about is how a lot of the musicians of our youth are far from their youth now and that scares me. No, it will not have the impact John Lennon or Elvis Presley’s deaths had on a generation but with all four singers in the ORB being 75 or more now I dread the day I hear that one has left this world. I have already said my personal goodbyes to three men who used to be in the band… still miss them.
In the meantime, I will listen to their music, hope they come close enough for a concert (I don’t drive long distances like I used to due to anxiety issues on the road) and keep up to date with social media posts. Is there someone you were (or still are) a fanatic about?
(Here’s a video from back in the day… back when Skip, Steve and Don were still with us. May they all rest in peace.)
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – fanatic
Life is fun. Writing is fun. The two have been clashing lately though. But that is not necessarily a bad thing. To say my posting and reading has been sporadic lately is an understatement, but for good reasons.
I have spent a month out of state and am now having the pleasure of my boyfriend’s company here in Iowa for a few weeks before he heads back home. We have accomplished many tasks we have wanted to do and are still working on some sorting and organizing here… it is a daunting task to have basically three generations worth of stuff in one house and have to sort through it all.
Once again, I ask for your patience as I try to navigate through the posts I am behind on. Little by little I will get there. It may be nearly July before I catch up, but I will. In the meantime, I will pop in as time allows and be in awe of the words and pictures you all share and try to sneak in a post or two as well. I hope everyone is having a wonderful Spring and getting out to enjoy a bit of this wonderful season.
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – sporadic
My mom and I used to have a running joke anytime I came close to a craft store I would say, “I smell rubber.” I know I have mentioned before that I make my own greeting cards with rubber stamps and other paper craft supplies. There is a smell to rubber stamps, so I was not lying, just stretching the truth a bit. Yesterday I smelled a lot of rubber and missed Mom two days before Mother’s Day.
While I was visiting my boyfriend in Michigan there was a scrapbooking “Mega Meet” in Novi. My boyfriend was nice enough to take me there and put up with my wandering, drooling over new products and freaking out over discoveries for nearly four and a half hours. (He is a keeper!) He did find places to sit and did more walking around while I stood in one place staring and all the shiny pretty things. But at times it was a melancholy day.
I had only been to one other show and that was about 30 years ago with my mom. She has been gone almost 13 years now and so many times I wanted to show her products and sample displays, but she is no longer my partner in crime in the sniffing out of rubber. And this close to Mother’s Day that just made me a little sad.
It was certainly nice being in the vicinity of another show, to smell a little rubber and to dream of all the projects I can make with my new goodies. As Mother’s Day draws near, hold tight to your mom, if you are lucky enough to still have her (or any mother figure in your life) and if not, find as many good memories as you can to bring a smile to your face. I hope everyone had a good weekend!
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – vicinity
During this mental health awareness month of May, I write of an inner strength that is not present enough of the time. But it is present more than it used to be, and I continue to work on me. Break the silence, break the stigma. I am more than enough. #MentalHealthAwareness
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – flinch