Day 13


Today my “baby” turned 22… she is my whole world.  Adjusting to her growing older, growing up and moving into adulthood has been hard, but I could not be prouder of her than I am.  She has advanced in her job, she has held together an apartment on her own for over a year and is now sharing a place with her closest friend.  She has turned into a remarkable woman.

Today we had a late lunch out and then returned to celebrate with a few gifts, cake and some card games.  It was a good day for her… I always try to make it a special day for her.  I even laughed some real deep laughs and smiled for a while.

Now the cards are put away and my daughter has gone home. We are having a light dinner and I have me feet up resting my back.  The washing machine hums in the next room and my boyfriend is watching football.  …today was almost a “normal” day, even a happy day.

Day 12

I am exhausted… another day of wearing the mask to appear to be doing alright.  I forgot to take my meds this morning and the day just didn’t go as planned.  BUT there was some good that happened today.  My boyfriend started his vacation.  We can’t afford to go anywhere really and have no plans, but it should be nice to have him home to help on my rough days.  I just have to gather to courage to ask for help instead of hiding how I feel inside.  That is something I am working on…

Day 11 – 100 Days of Happiness

As a person who suffers from depression I have learned that I will have bad days, but to look at the little things as large accomplishments on those days… because in the middle of a depressive episode they are a big deal to get done.  Today I felt exhausted, defeated and alone, but I pulled together all the strength I had and stepped into the shower and got dressed – a minor accomplishment for most people.  I was physically more tired afterwards, but I felt I accomplishes something.  The laundry still waits, the dishwasher still needs to be emptied, those things can wait.  I hope tomorrow is a better day.  Today I was happy to take a small step in taking care of me.

Day 10

First of all for those of you following along… sorry I have dropped the ball the last couple of days on the daily prompts.  I am at least sticking with my #100happydays.  Things have been busy and trying to fit in an hour to meditate when I WON’T fall asleep is a challenge.  So my schedule is a little out of whack.  But the rain waters are not washing me away… I am still here and had a wonderful moment of happiness today.

I have to drive about an hour out-of-town to get my psych meds and the anxiety of that drive usually gets to me.  I take a half an anxiety pill and pray for the best when I set off.  Today however when I got to my appointment my lovely daughter texted me and wanted to meet afterwards for some coffee.  So I drove back out-of-town and hopped into the coffee shop where she works (she stayed late after her shift just to see me) and had a hot caramel apple drink while she drank her iced coffee.  It wasn’t a long time but it is always good when I get to see my daughter and she even bought me my drink.  Somehow (couldn’t have been my doing) she turned into a really sweet woman!  I am very proud of her daily!

Day 9

Today I had a break in my fibromyalgia pain and was able to get birthday shopping done for my daughter and niece.  It is often difficult to make it through one store for shopping, but I did actually get to two stores today to complete the shopping.  It felt so good to walk through the store with only minimal pain today.  I found what I was looking for and got what I wanted to get.  A perfect shopping trip… and that has not happened for a while.  So my moment of happiness was a lack of pain and browsing the Halloween displays at Target.  I hope each one of you found at least one spot of happiness in your day.  (((HUGS)))

Day 8 – 100 Days of Happiness

When I started this challenge I knew there would be days that my depression would try to stop me from finding something that made me happy.  Although most of the day was down, I did receive a phone call from a friend this afternoon that was the highlight of my day.  I haven’t been able to talk to him much with his work schedule and me taking care of my Dad lately.  So it was nice to talk to him even if it was just for a short time.  I tried to take that phone call and carry that joy with me all day, but it has been a challenge.  I don’t know if the depression is causing pain, or my fibromyalgia is flaring but I have been aching today.  It is nice to have that call to fall back on to find some joy.  You never know when something as simple as a “Hi, how are you doing?” can lift spirits of someone who is down. ( …thank you sir for the call!)

Day 7

I am beginning a new journey that I am looking at in a positive light.  My doctor is working with me on mindfulness and meditation.  I have tried meditation on my own in the past with not much luck.  But now I have learned that it is normal for your mind to wander, especially when you first start out.  I have had a couple of days of mindful eating… it is hard not to just chew things up and swallow.  I have to notice texture, taste, temperature, etc. when I am eating.  But tonight was a new step that made me feel pretty good about how well things are going.

This new step was a 40 minute body scan meditation.  Aside from the cat trying to jump on me and my phone going off in the middle of it (I just silenced it and went on) I think it was a very good first attempt.  I did find some frustration as being more aware of my body during the scan I also became more aware of the pain that always lingers with fibromyalgia.  But overall I am very pleased with the way it went and that was my moment of happiness today.

Day 6 – 100 Days of Happiness

This has been a pretty hectic weekend that was kicked off with my Dad’s trip to the ER for a fall and kept rolling right through this afternoon.  So today’s moment of happiness was sitting down after dinner to quietly watch a zombie movie.  I laughed a few times, jumped once and was happy to see the good guys win in the end.  We have had so many zombie movies and TV shows though, I was joking with my boyfriend when I said, “You know if zombies ever come to reality we will all go for the head shots and watch that not be the real way to kill them.”  Here’s to hoping we never have to find out!

Day 5 – Together

The trash talk was flying… I had been challenged.  All week my daughter and I have been going back and forth claiming to be ready to put the other into the poor house in Monopoly.  The battle was set to start tonight after we all got together for a pizza dinner.  My daughter, my boyfriend, a brief appearance by our cat and I all set down to battle.  I thought I had the world in my hands when I purchased both Boardwalk and Park Place.  But fate would prove to have different plans for me.  I fell first, then my boyfriend, and my daughter did truly reign as the Monopoly champion tonight.  Even in a loss I easily found my moment of happiness tonight.20160917_2240411

Day 4

Today has been a long day… it started okay, but fell apart fast.  I had to take my Dad who is now 80, to the DMV to have a driving test to get his license renewed.  I sat and waited for him to come back, a little worried he would not pass and be upset.  That was the least of my worries.  I heard the DMV employee he had gone out with come back in and ask for help because someone fell.  I knew it was my Dad.  No need to go through the drama that followed.  The best part of my day was when the nurse in the ER said all tests came back ok and Dad could go home.  Those words made my day!