Mumbles … World Suicide Prevention Day

I wish I could go back to simpler days.  Days when I had innocence.  Days when I was naïve and guileless.  Days before September 10^th would have been so important to me.  Today has been World Suicide Prevention Day #WSPD.  There was a time I thought that would never effect me.  How I turned out to be wrong.

First of all there are the odds stacked against me.  They say 800,000 suicides take place each year… it comes out to about every 40 seconds somewhere around the world another person takes his or her own life.  Odds are in your lifetime you WILL know someone who wants to do it, tried to do and succeeds in doing it.  I have all three in my lifetime already.

So I write in remembrance of those gone, in compassion for those who feel that alone and empty and for the suicidal ideation I suffer from with my depression.  The hardest thing I ever did was pick up a phone to dial 911 for a dear friend of mine who tried to end it all.  I already wrote about that here.  And I felt an unending emptiness when a boy I used to babysit took his own life.  And there was a day I tried everything I could to keep a friend talking when he was ready to jump off a bridge.

Suicide is so hard on others, but it is hard on the victim too.  The only thing I can not stress enough is you are NEVER alone.  Talk to a friend, family, clergy or doctor.  Call a hotline.  Text someone.  Even reaching out on social media is an option.  So, as the day wraps up I leave you all with a wish to stay in touch with others.  You never know what others are going through.  Your call, note or text could make all the difference in their day.

Be safe, be well, TALK to someone!

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8155

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – guileless

 

 

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3, 2, 1 Quote Me – Imagination

Sadje over at Keep It Alive tagged me in Rory’s 3, 2, 1 Quote Me game.  Thanks Sadje!

The rules:

• Thank the selector
• Post two quotes for the dedicated topic of the day – in this case Imagination
• Select three bloggers to take part in the game

Now I am supposed to name three bloggers to join in… how about I just leave it open to whoever wants to and has the time to play along! 😊 Enjoy!

Fandango’s Friday Flashback – September 6

It is that time of the week to reach back into the archives and find an old post and try and give it new life.  This one was very early on in my blogging.  It was just a stream of consciousness blog and I was having a rough night…

The Search for Help… One Word at a Time

Depression sucks!  In the midst of many life stresses, I am feeling the symptoms of all I endure…. depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia.  I am aching from head to toe, feel my thoughts swirling like a tornado in my mind, and jumping at every little sound.  I sit alone with my laptop and try to chase the feeling of doom with a little music.  Try to pass the time with a mindless game.  Try to slow the thoughts down with relaxation techniques.  None of this is working today.  The craving for comfort food (especially some sweets) keeps drawing me to the kitchen, only to find nothing to satisfy and calm me.  I hover over my cell phone trying to decide if I should burden anyone with my pain and terror today, only deciding it would change nothing and only make me look even less “normal” than I already do.  So I turn to a blank screen and the keyboard.  I write a couple of poems to get some of the chaos out.  Then talk to you… my invisible audience that I hope exists.  I let off some of the pressure I feel pinned down by with each word I type.  It is far from a cure.  It will not stop the pain.  But to write helps distract me in some ways.  A deep focus on how the sentence will flow, or to find the right block of words to convey what I am dealing with.  The words are not completely right, but they are close enough to slow the flood.  I hold onto a dream that maybe these words are what someone else may need to see someday to know they are not alone.  Today, at this moment, they are the words that I need to write for my own peace of mind.  In short, depression sucks!

 

Revisited for Fandango’s Friday Flashback September 6

Mystery Blogger Award

 

Sadje from keep it alive  has nominated me for the mystery blogger award.  THANKS Sadje! ❤ Sorry it took me so long to answer it!

The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion.  It was created by OKOTO ENIGMA whose site is  here.

The Rules

–Put the award logo/image on your blog

–List the rules

–Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog

–Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well

–Answer the 5 questions you were asked

–Tell your readers 3 things about yourself

-You have to nominate 10 – 20 people

-Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog

–Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question

-Share a link to your best post(s)

 

The questions…

     1. What are your aspirations in life?

To love deeply, to appreciate the little things and to help others.

     2. If you had $5000, what charity would you donate it to?

It would either be the local food bank or Good Neighbor… when I was unemployed and practically out of money they helped me with food and bills.  That is something I want to pay back.

     3. What is your favorite kind of music to chill out to?

I would say soft rock or a little meditation music off of YouTube.

     4. How would you rate your experience on WordPress?  1 being lowest, 10 being highest.

8 or 9 … the community is awesome!  The technical issues from time to time are a little annoying.

     5. Have you gained real friendships through blogging?

I would say so.  I think it is easy to do because as writers we share a lot of ourselves.

Three thing about me…

1. I went on stage during a concert once.
2. I want to go back to college or at least take some night classes – if I ever get the money to.
3. I have been in 4 accidents driving… one was a no fault (icy roads) and the other were all the other drivers fault.

I am a rule breaker and will not nominate 10 to 20 people… instead anyone who wants to can answer my questions.

1. Do you like your middle name?
2. Have you ever been a witness to a crime?
3. What is your favorite sport?
4. Have you ever sang karaoke?
5. If you could travel anywhere free of charge where would you go?

And now to share a “best” post… they are all special to me in some way but I will link to one I did many years ago.  It was the first blog where I included a poem.

So one and all join in on the fun, answer some questions and share a blog!  You have been nominated!

 

 

Mumbles … Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

Today is September first… a day of mixed emotions.  This is the start of ovarian cancer awareness month.  I have mentioned before I had and beat breast cancer.  During that time there was an angel on earth who helped me through my chemo treatments.

She helped me through because she had been through chemo twice by that time for ovarian cancer already.  She gave me heads up on what she went through and some of those little things that the doctors just don’t tell you about.  Wigs get HOT in the summer.  The metallic taste in your mouth may be overwhelmed by a certain flavor item, for her it was root beer, me salty potato chips.  And drink or suck on something cold during treatments or you will get canker sores in your mouth (don’t know WHY this works, but it does).

Unfortunately, the cancer came back for her again.  She fought; she fought with an unending raw courage.  I remember the last time I saw her, yellowed skin from jaundice and using a wheelchair due to weakness and fatigue, she was still smiling and cracking jokes.  She refused to let it win.

She died about 2 weeks later.  I barely knew her family, but I was there for the funeral.  She was a beautiful spirit that I feel so fortunate to have known.  That is why every September I try to do what I can to spread awareness.  It can be an ugly disease, but early detection is key.  Please take a minute to recognize the symptoms and read the facts.  For more information I recommend this web site. http://ovarian.org/

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) and C. H.❤ – raw

Fandango’s Friday Flashback – August 30th

Fandango was a day late and a dollar short… does that make me two days late and in need of a two dollar bill? 🤔

Anyway, this is a poem originally posted here .  Check out more flashbacks from FFF here .Better yet dig back into your archives and joins in the fun!

One And Only

Just in time

Let’s start a rhyme

One of love

Sent from above

About devotion

And a lot of emotion

One never ending

It’s affection I’m sending

Straight to your heart

It’s where it all starts

So believe me when I say

I love you today

And for ever after

I’ll shout it from the rafter

You are my one and only

Without you I am lonely

Mumbles … Tenacity

This is a mumbles kind of a night.  I have been in a flare and I just don’t have much left in me tonight to write about tenacity.  My tenacity got up and walked out a long time ago.  No, I guess I can’t say that for the plain reason that I am writing this.  I will not give up on my writing, even if it is just a stream of consciousness blog, I have the determination to get at least a post a day done.  It is good for my mental health to write, help my concentration and keeps my hands moving so they don’t cramp up.

I started out with the intention to write about either of my grandmothers as they were both so like the energizer bunny when setting out on a task.  But I miss them both so much I kept getting off track.  I then tried a story about a man unhappy at his job after twenty years being tenacious in finding a job he loved to do.  But I got tripped up with memories of when I used to work.  So, my mumbles post was born.

As my evening meds are making me tired, I wind down and hope that you all have a healthy positive week.  (((HUGS)))

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – tenacity