Mumbles … Scream

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!  Ok, so maybe there was no ice cream but there was cake!  I missed posting last night as it was my birthday, and I was fortunate enough to spend it with those I care about.  It started with a few posts on Facebook, I got serenaded on the phone by a dear friend, got special gifts in my Animal Crossing game, had dinner and played cards with my daughter and her fiancé, and then went back to spend the late evening with another friend in Animal Crossing.  It was a wonderful day.  One of the best ones I have had in a while… but I think it was because I only took half of the new med I have been struggling with.

Today it was back to the regular dose and I slept off and on through much of the afternoon.  And I know sleep is not far away tonight as I took my meds earlier for a morning scheduled doctor’s appointment.  I just really hate the way this med makes me feel and it has really done nothing for my anxiety.  Today my boyfriend came to give me some cabbage to chew on while he was putting together a large salad for dinner… I saw his hand and was terrified I was looking at spider legs and freaked out.  Yeah, my anxiety is still alive and well.

So, I have one more week of this shit.  Then I will see my doctor again to discuss my lack of progress, actually I think things have gotten worse.  If there is not a change of some kind I really will scream. BUT in the meantime, I will remember having a good day on Saturday.  After all I finally got the elusive blue rose in my Animal Crossing game! 


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – scream

(Picture from free image Google search)

Mumbles … Dignity

The word I am writing for tonight (yes I am still sadly behind) is dignity.  After the text my boyfriend got all I can think of is death with dignity.  His mom sent him a message that his brother-in-law has stage 4 stomach cancer.  This news does two things.

I want to do what I can to let him know we are thinking of him but obviously at stage 4 a get well soon card is out of the picture.  He has always been a rather withdrawn man.  At family gatherings he tends to be pretty quiet and often will pick up his guitar and just play softly whatever comes to mind.  A friend suggested some kind of music for him to listen to.  I guess he is pretty weak but is now on a feeding tube and hopefully can regain some strength.  Maybe listening to some music would be good for him.

And then the ball is back in my court with another why.  Why does this man who dotes on his grandkids have to face his mortality so suddenly, but I had cancer, beat it and am still alive?  I guess the answer is that cancer is not fair.  Not fair at all.

So, back to death with dignity.  There are so many questions now.  Does he endure chemo to the bitter end or is that a different risk in itself that is feared.  Is he going to be one who just wants to go home and be with family for the time he has left.  But then again there is Covid 19 in the picture and in his weakened state he would be very susceptible to any kind of virus.

The next few days, weeks or maybe months will play out the way they will, there is really no stopping them.  I wish him the best and hope if there is a greater power now is the time to show some mercy please.

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – dignity

Mumbles … Elucidate

Elucidate … let me explain.  This is the word I am supposed to write for but I really don’t have it in me right now.  Still not adjusting to my new meds; I feel like a zombie most of the day.  Tomorrow the whole family will gather here for dinner and birthday celebration (4 birthdays within about a month and a half).  Followed by a friend from out of state visiting on Monday for lunch.  I have cleaning to do and I am already wiped out.  Still have to wrap the presents too.  Something has to give so this is a poor excuse for a post… maybe I can make it back on later and do better with the next word.  Right now it is time for dinner.


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – elucidate

Mumbles … Inexorable

In-ex-o-ab-le

Adjective – unable to stop or prevent

This is so my life right now.  All the way from my place in the world, the nation and right here at home I am unable to stop this merry-go-round life.

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Of course, I have concerns about Covid.  I have asthma so I “qualify” as one of those high-risk people (hurray for me).  My boyfriend is a front-line worker as a cashier, so he has lots of contact with the public, while also being a high-risk winner with both diabetes and high blood pressure (go team!).  The state of Iowa has been called a hot spot with new cases ranging from the 600 to 1000 area each day.  One of the biggest concerns I have is my daughter and her fiancé have a January wedding planned… where will the numbers be then?  Will they be able to have a big wedding?  These questions ring out every night when I watch the news and see outbreaks everywhere.

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Things have not been good nationally for quite some time.  I am not one to talk a lot about politics but where the country is right now is downright scary.  We are so divided and unable to have any sense of calm expressed by our current leader.  With the replacement of Ruth Bader Ginsburg being shoved down our throats I fear for the future.  And elections always frustrate me.  Just ONCE I would like to see a candidate step up on a platform of their own beliefs and qualifications instead of running down what their opponent did or didn’t do so far.  So, I get to the point where I mute the TV ads and try to find the real facts somewhere.

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Closer to home the doctor has prescribed a change in my medications that is causing a great deal of fatigue.  She added one med, took one out and increased the dose of an “as needed” one to a twice a day occurrence.  I take my night-time meds and you can almost bet that twelve hours later I will either still be asleep or will be fighting a great deal of fogginess and a lingering medicated haze.  And now that I have been on this regiment for a month anyway my doctor offers this advice, “your body will adjust to it eventually and it will work.”  Which translates in my head to “You’re on your own sister, just live with it.”

While I don’t think I have ever used the word inexorable in my daily life, I sure do feel its presence.

(A note before I leave… the medication switch is a big reason I have fallen back in my reading and writing for prompts.  I WILL someday be caught up again.  And I will read all you have written I just may not have time to leave a lot of comments.  Thanks for your understanding!)

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – inexorable

Mumbles … Television

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The prompt I am writing for is a week old… OMG, how did I get so far behind!?  Please forgive me.  This new medicine routine I am on is really kicking my but.  Plus I have added pool therapy twice a week I need to make time for.  If I could just have a couple of good days I think I could get caught up, but naps keep sneaking up on me and my boyfriend is on a leave of absence for a month and so I am spending more time with him which means less writing time.  Speaking of writing… let’s talk television.

I grew up in the era of a tv in every room.  Ok it wasn’t to that excess, but the living room had one, a small portable in the kitchen, (why I don’t know but,) a small one in the bathroom and then of course one in the bedroom.  Although growing up my sister and I shared one and it was never on at bedtime.

By the late 70’s the television became a toy too… the Atari 2600 game system and space invaders and pac man hit our house.  My dad even designed holders for the joysticks so you could have a more arcade like experience… and it was easier to get a high score.

The 80’s came with cable television and many more choices.  Then I grew up and work and family life took a lot of my tv viewing away.  There just wasn’t time for it.  We more often would use the set for VHS and DVD viewing.

Now the news is just depressing.  There aren’t many good shows on anymore.  I sit here today taking advantage, as I often do, of the music channels my cable company offers.  Listening to a little adult alternative today while I write.  And the music leaves me less distracted for reading prompts too, which is what I should go do to try to catch up some more.  Do you have a favorite television show or channel?


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – television

Worldly Wisdom

“All this worldly wisdom was once the unamiable heresy of some wise man.” – Henry David Thoreau

It all starts with a small seed that becomes a big idea.

Just a personal note to all of those on the US West coast… stay safe from the fires and smoke. I have checked in with a few of my friends but still know a couple in that area I haven’t heard from. Only 3 and 1/2 month left of this awful year. I really hope 2021 is better. (((HUGS)))


For Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – heresy

Wake Me Up When September Ends

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It is going to be a busy September.  I have seven PT sessions scheduled, five doctor visits and an MRI all on my plate for the month.  It also happens to be my daughter and niece’s birthdays this month.  AND… I am my niece’s driver since she has no interest in driving and I have two appointments to take her too as well.  Makes me tired just writing it all out.

The one good thing is it looks as if there will be a little college football to follow.  I haven’t really paid attention to know if pro ball is happening.  But one of the teams I follow is scheduled to have their first game next week.

I want to get my med change settled out.  Maybe reduce it or something because I am SO TIRED all the time with the new meds.  … that is one of the doctors that I am seeing this month.

Before I finish up, I wanted to thank Fandango for sticking with this challenge.  I know he has been struggling with the new block editor… THANKS for giving me inspiration to write.  I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long to finish it.  (Damn pills!)   It has been fun though!

And because you all made it to the end with me…


For Fandango’s Dog Days of August (FDDA) #31 – your plans for September are

Punching the Clock

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This is a tough one.  There were good things and bad things about every job I have had.  As a kid my sister and I made money shoveling the walks for two different retired woman who each lived alone.  And when the holidays were over an elderly couple across the street would leave to visit family out of town and we shoveled their sidewalk while they were gone – and it was a LONG corner lot sidewalk.

Then as I gathered more independence, I ventured into two normal kid’s jobs – babysitting and a newspaper route.  My mom put an end to that after a couple of boys from Iowa were kidnapped doing their paper routes.

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I concentrated on grades and a small social life in high school.  Then after the first and only year of college I went to work for a local restaurant nights.  I later on picked up a second job at a fast food joint.  That didn’t last long.  So, I decided to try retail and became a cashier.  I worked at the store and restaurant for about 7 years.  Then left the restaurant after I had my daughter.  This was so I could be with my daughter nights while working days… my husband taking opposite shifts, so we didn’t need a lot of babysitting time.

For a shot time I did some grain book-keeping for an elevator, it was basically a data entry job.  That was a nice job as it was in my in-law’s basement helping my mother-in-law.  But flooding and a sale of the elevator to the Coop made that job obsolete. 

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So, going with longevity I would say my cashier job was the best at 20 years.  Like any job though it wasn’t the same in the end.  Management changed several times and the importance of the front end was swept under the carpet so to speak.  Then I got sick and the lack of compassion from those I had worked many years with left me with a very bad taste in my mouth. 

Thank you and have a nice day!

Even thought the end was rough I still loved being a cashier on most days.  I had regular customers and friends that made the job enjoyable.  If I ever find that miracle cure, I would consider returning.  But I don’t see that happening any time soon.


Written for Fandango’s Dog Days of August (FDDA) – your best job ever

Whoo Whoo

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The alarm clock is my enemy… I am not a morning person, never have been. I have to set multiple alarms anymore if I do need to be awake for one thing or another. But I am not surprised, I grew up in a family of night owls. My Dad spent many years working 11pm to 7am. He would be there to tuck us into bed at night and wake us up in the morning.

I do have a couple of great late night memories. We often would stay up late playing a game of Shanghai Rummy in the summer time on Dad’s night off. And one night we stayed up all night (the whole family and a couple of friends) trying to decipher a text adventure game called Kidnapped. We discussed each level of this high rise we woke up in and had to make it out of somehow. I THINK the level that took us the longest involved giving a guard dog a sleeping pill in hamburger. There was also a level where we had to do something with a fish tank that had piranhas in it.

Even visiting my aunts, uncles and grandparents out of town we would stay up late talking or playing games. I truly came from a family or a parliament of night owls!


Written for Fandango’s Dog Days of August (FDDA) #29 – time of the day