Mumbles… my tardy life

I see the word tardy and I instantly think of my days in school, especially in junior high. I am not sure why I struggled so then, but I managed to get a couple of detentions for my tardies. Then I joined the work force after I was done with school and had a job where you were not allowed to clock in even a minute early so I ended up waiting until the last-minute to leave and on more than one occasion I was tardy again. Then as jobs change…

I ended up in a daytime job. By this time I knew I was NOT a morning person at all, but it was a good job and I needed daytime hours to offset my husband’s night hours so we didn’t need a babysitter very often for our daughter.

Life became chaotic with a spouse who was a “functioning alcoholic” and me trying to do everything to keep that fact hidden from our daughter. Sleep suffered greatly and guess who was once again late? We adjusted my schedule a little and it worked for a while. Then I got sick.

I have depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia and all of it affects sleep in some way. The tardies increased, I got warnings at work, I tried a short leave of absence to balance my life out. Then my mother died. and the emotions got worse.

My husband and I separated and I began to have panic attacks on the way to work. Needless to say I could not drive in that condition, so I was again tardy. Working with my doctor we set up an intermittent leave of absence for my panic attacks. That worked until I was tardy so often my maximum leave of absence time was used up. So I left work.

Now I have to work through anxiety before appointments so I am not late, which doesn’t always work. I often push a 15 minute window beyond a set time to arrive to gatherings with family and friends. I have decided it is just in my genes to be tardy. I just try to do the best I can and if I miss something because of it that is something I just have to live with. … heck, I am even tardy posting on here for the daily prompts. Will you forgive the perpetually late person in me? LOL

Mumbles… blink

I’ll admit it … by definition from when I was growing up I am a nerd.  I like science fiction and fantasy.  Star Trek, Star Wars and Doctor Who have all worked their way into my blood stream.  Now I can’t say I have seen every episode, but I find it very hard to pass by a channel they are playing on when they are on TV.  That is why the word prompt “blink” could only lead me to one thought – “Don’t Blink!”  It was a Doctor Who episode where I was first introduced to the weeping angels – an alien in the form of a statue that moves when you don’t look at it.  Really quite a creepy episode.  They have made it back a couple of times since then and are one of my favorite enemies of the Doctor.

I have to blame my Dad for my love of science fiction.  I remember watching Star Trek growing up and of course we went to see the Star Wars movies when they came out.  I dabble in other shows too – Quantum Leap, Serenity, Dark Matter to name a few.  Read a few Robert Heinlein and Piers Anthony (love his Xanth novels, the puns are amazing!) novels as well.

Of course the big questions are Star Trek vs Star Wars and until recently I felt it was hard to compare them, but with the newer Star Trek Movies…I would have to pick Star Trek.  Favorite captain is Picard and Janeway.  And my favorite Doctor is David Tennant… with a huge nod to Capt Jack Harkness (played by John Barrowman) during his time as the Doctor.  Those two interacted so well together!

I even collected the Star Trek the Next Generation trading cards many years ago when they came out… I have nearly a full set of inverted back cards too – Oops.  Many of the shows on DVD.  And one of these years I will make it to a con I hope!

Are you a fan of science fiction?  Any favorites you want to share?  I am off now to boldly go… do some laundry LOL!

Mumbles… numbers and things

Good evening everyone.  I sit here after midnight trying to gather my thoughts into some kind of coherent writing.  I was told the other day from WordPress that I hit a milestone.  I have now had over 1000 posts now.  Does not seem possible, but then again with doing both a daily happy and grateful post and the daily prompts all of last year that was well over 700 alone.  So I am feeling somewhat prolific.  I would like to say they were all wonderful posts, but I am my own worst critic.  Some of the posts I would like to sort through, but I am afraid half of them would be deleted then.

So I guess this is a kind of thank you.  Thanks for the views and the likes on all my 1000… most of all thanks for the follows.  I still wonder what I write that is good enough to want to follow… a lot of it is just getting my thoughts and demons out.  I am glad you have come along for the ride.  Now I guess I try to hit another 1000 posts.

How is the weather where you are?  We are getting ready for an ice/snow storm to hit just in time for the morning commute tomorrow (well technically today since it is after midnight) and of course both my daughter and my boyfriend will have to drive through it.  I do have to go out but it is only a couple blocks away so I am not too worried about my drive time… I am already anxious about the two of them driving in it though.

I have lived my whole life in Iowa, you would think I would be used to these little storm warnings, but they really bother me any more.  And driving in snow and ice at night… forget it!  I have turned into a ‘fraidy cat and I am not afraid to admit it!

I should stop rambling for the night.  Get some rest so I can check in on my daughter in the morning and make sure it was a safe trip to work for her.  Then wait to get a text from my boyfriend that he has arrived at work ok as well.  I hope you all have a wonderful night/day!

Mumbles… Viable

I never had to worry about whether or not my daughter was viable, she went to full term pregnancy.  I don’t think there could be a worse terror than having to give birth early with only the term viable being used to describe your child’s chances.

I worked for a while with a business that helped Children’s Miracle Network.  They work with a network of hospitals to help all children with injury or illness.  I had the fortune of touring my local CMN hospital and saw the things they did for everyone from preemies (they need special sized medical equipment and tools) to teenagers using video games to distract them from their treatments.  And we were there just after the completion of an all-inclusive playground on the grounds.  It was very eye-opening.

Each one of us has reasons to be thankful… my daughter is a HUGE part of that for me.  I have seen what could have been through others struggles and my heart breaks for them.  If only I could have that magic wand I have looked for all my life… then there would be no need to worry if a baby was viable or not.

Mumbles…

I realize this is a little late, but happy New Year to you all!  I took a couple of days off – I was sick on New Years night and wiped out the next day because of it.  So now I am trying to catch up on reading and I am still trying to wrap my brain around what to do.

I have contemplated Wordy Wednesdays, Talkative Tuesdays/Thursdays, Shorthand Saturdays/Sundays, and even Monologue Mondays… none of them seemed to fit right.  I don’t want to be chained down to a particular day.  Almost all the time I was growing up and was terribly shy I would be told to speak up and stop mumbling, so I think Mumbles is a good fit.

Don’t ask me where I am headed with Mumbles, I am not entirely sure yet.  I like to think of it as a conversation between friends.  Who knows where my mind may wander to, but I honestly hope you will continue to join me in this written journey.

I do plan to still do the daily word prompts this year, but will try occasionally to branch out from only poetry posts.  There were a couple of words that really threw me on poetic standings, but I can always find ways to write around a topic (I think).  So that will be a challenge to try some flash fiction, limit word writing and maybe even structured poetry besides haikus and limericks.

Forgive me tonight as I fill your readers or inboxes with posts trying to catch up to date on daily posts.  One other thing I want to ask of you… please share with me what you like and don’t like about my mumbles.  I welcome comments!

So I will try to speak up a little but listen closely because this year will be my year to mumble…