Mumbles … Being

I have just gone through the motions of being… it has been a long week. My week started out with 6 appointments planned for the week for both me and my dad. Then Dad went to the ER early Wednesday morning. He was having lots of trouble breathing. My sister called me and I got ready and out the door before 6am. He had pneumonia and lots of problems with edema and fluid around the heart. The pneumonia has cleared up on his x-ray. But his is having lots of confusion. It really scares me… my Mother-in-law had Alzheimer’s and the way Dad is acting reminds me of that. I talked to the nurse about it tonight. She paged the doctor and he finally got back to her and said he wasn’t too concerned about it. I really dislike my Dad’s doctor… he is an ok guy, but I think he has a lot of flaws as a doctor, but I can’t convince Dad to go to a new doctor.

So I’ve spent a lot of time at the hospital the last few days and have gotten so far behind on reading posts and my daily prompts. I may read through some tonight yet but I am so tired, physically and emotionally. I am just barely being.


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – being

This Or That Tag

Last month the lovely Anita at Discovering Your Happiness tagged me to answer a long list of questions… I am finally getting around to responding.  (Sorry it took me so long Anita!)

this or that tag

The Rules:

  • Thank & tag the person that has tagged you
  • Attach the tag photo
  • Answers the ‘THIS or THAT” questions
  • Tag a 10-20 friends.

So here’s the questions…

  1. Dog or Cat?
  2. Netflix or YouTube?
  3. Phone Call or Text?
  4. Toast or Eggs?
  5. Cardio or Weights?
  6. Facebook or Twitter?
  7. Ice Cream Cone or Snow Cone?
  8. Mobile Games or Console Games?
  9. While walking: Music or Podcasts?
  10. iOS or Android?
  11. Cake or Pie?
  12. Swimming or Sunbathing?
  13. Big Party or Small Gathering?
  14. New Clothes or New Phone?
  15. Rich Friend or Loyal Friend?
  16. Football or Basketball?
  17. Nice Car or Nice Home Interior?
  18. What’s worse: Laundry or Dishes?
  19. Jogging or Hiking?
  20. Bath or Shower?
  21. Sneakers or Sandals?
  22. Glasses or Contacts?
  23. Hamburger or Taco?
  24. Couch or Recliner?
  25. Online Shopping or Shopping in a Store?
  26. Receive: Email or Letter?
  27. Passenger or Driver?
  28. Tablet or Computer?
  29. Most important in a partner: Intelligent or Funny?
  30. Car or Truck?
  31. Blue or Red?
  32. Money or Free Time?
  33. Amusement Park or Day at the Beach?
  34. At a movie: Candy or Popcorn?
  35. Pen or Pencil?
  36. Toilet paper: Over or Under?
  37. Cups in the cupboard: Right Side Up or Up Side Down?
  38. Pancake or Waffle?
  39. Coke or Pepsi?
  40. Coffee Cup or Thermos?
  41. Blinds or Curtain?
  42. Train or Plane?
  43. Phone or Tablet?
  44. Iced Coffee or Hot Coffee?
  45. Meat or Vegetables?
  46. International Vacation or a New TV?
  47. Save or Spend?
  48. Honesty or Other’s Feelings?
  49. Coffee or Tea?
  50. TV or Book?
  51. Movie at Home or Movie at the Theater?
  52. Ocean or Mountains?
  53. Horror Movie or Comedy Movie?
  54. City or Countryside?
  55. Winter or Summer?
  56. Mac or PC?
  57. Console Gaming or PC Gaming?
  58. Soup or Sandwich?
  59. Card Game or Board Game?
  60. Camping or Binge Watching Shows at Home?
  61. Working Alone or Working in a Team?
  62. Dine In or Delivery?
  63. Sweater or Hoodie?
  64. Motorcycle or Bicycle?
  65. Book or eBook?
  66. When sleeping: Fan or No Fan?
  67. TV Shows or Movies?

My answers…

Dog or Cat?  Both but for choices, cat
Netflix or YouTube?  Netflix
Phone Call or Text?  Sometimes I have anxiety on the phone, but I prefer talking than texting for the most part.  I want to hear your voice.
Toast or Eggs?  Love fried, scrambled with cheese, an omelet, or a good old hard boiled egg!
Cardio or Weights?  Can’t do much of either, I guess my short walks count closer to cardio
Facebook or Twitter? FB
Ice Cream Cone or Snow Cone? When it’s hot outside either one is good, but year round I will eat ice cream
Mobile Games or Console Games?  I do both… but would be more lost without my computer games
While walking: Music or Podcasts? Music all the way!
iOS or Android? Android
Cake or Pie? This is tough.. you can have a bigger variety to choose from with pie though
Swimming or Sunbathing?  Swimming or as close to it as I come
Big Party or Small Gathering? Small gathering… crowds are bad with anxiety
New Clothes or New Phone?  New clothes, my phone is not that old
Rich Friend or Loyal Friend? Loyal which can be hard to find
Football or Basketball? If this is American football I pick it, if soccer then basketball.  I just never learned much about soccer growing up
Nice Car or Nice Home Interior?   …?  Hmm, probably car
What’s worse: Laundry or Dishes? dishes, laundry you can start and walk away from
Jogging or Hiking? Hiking
Bath or Shower? Shower unless it is a big  (whirlpool) tub I can kick back and relax in
Sneakers or Sandals?  Sneakers
Glasses or Contacts? Had both, but now find glasses are just easier
Hamburger or Taco? Love them both… probably hamburger
Couch or Recliner? Sit on a couch but I sleep in a recliner so I like them both
Online Shopping or Shopping in a Store? In a store to get clothes but other things are ok online if it is cheaper
Receive: Email or Letter?  Letter!  I wish I got more, but I do send out a lot
Passenger or Driver? This depends on the traffic, speeds and weather…. plus if I am having more anxiety that day.
Tablet or Computer?  Laptop
Most important in a partner: Intelligent or Funny?  Funny, but not an idiot
Car or Truck?  Car
Blue or Red?  Red
Money or Free Time?  Free time, lots to do that cost little to no money!
Amusement Park or Day at the Beach? If it is just me maybe a beach, but I love to see others ride the rides I am too afraid to get on, plus someone has to hold the bags LOL
At a movie: Candy or Popcorn?  Popcorn with buttery topping!
Pen or Pencil?  Pen
Toilet paper: Over or Under?  Definitely over
Cups in the cupboard: Right Side Up or Up Side Down? Which ever way they fit better… I have a fair share of different shaped cups and mugs
Pancake or Waffle?  Waffles
Coke or Pepsi?  Coke
Coffee Cup or Thermos?  Cup
Blinds or Curtain? Prefer curtains, can only afford blinds LOL
Train or Plane?  … never been on a train?
Phone or Tablet?  Phone
Iced Coffee or Hot Coffee?  Hot coffee
Meat or Vegetables?  I couldn’t live without meat, but I like the big variety of vegetables
International Vacation or a New TV?  I would love to travel
Save or Spend?  I try to save but bills get in the way
Honesty or Other’s Feelings?  Honesty always is best in the long run
Coffee or Tea?  Coffee
TV or Book?  If the fibro fog is clear, a book
Movie at Home or Movie at the Theater?  Both have their pluses, but if it is a highly special effects movie I prefer to see it in the theater
Ocean or Mountains? … never seen either
Horror Movie or Comedy Movie?  Horror
City or Countryside?  Countryside
Winter or Summer? Winter comes third after Spring and Fall… I just hate the hot HUMID summer sticky weather
Mac or PC?  PC
Console Gaming or PC Gaming?  PC if it is just me… otherwise I like console games we all can play
Soup or Sandwich?  Soup
Card Game or Board Game?  Card game – LOVE Shanghai Rummy!
Camping or Binge Watching Shows at Home?  Never been camping
Working Alone or Working in a Team?  Team of strangers NO, team I know yes
Dine In or Delivery?  Delivery
Sweater or Hoodie?  Hoodie
Motorcycle or Bicycle?  Bicycle
Book or eBook?  BOOK… love the feel of turning a page
When sleeping: Fan or No Fan?  Need a fan year round
TV Shows or Movies?  Movies

Now I am supposed to tag others… TAG, you are ALL it.  Seriously, those interested PLEASE do share a little about yourself.  But I wont name anyone for fear of leaving someone out.  Enjoy!

Mumbles… Tantrum

Working 20 years as a cashier I saw my share of tantrums at the checkout. Often the parents worn down and tired would give in to the child and buy them candy or the toy they carried through the store. The customers I had to cringe about were the ones who would let their kids play, chew on and drool all over a toy then ask ME to take it from the child who would no doubt start to have at least a good loud scream. If you don’t have the courage to disappoint your own kids once in a while the future for them is doomed to be a major disappointment.

There is also the disgusting fact that the child had placed their germs all over the toy ready to spread them to whoever next needs a shopping pacifier. It made me wipe down a toy or two for my daughter before I would ever let her touch it.

I know when I was growing up I can’t ever recall being allowed to play with something we were not going to buy. When did the stores become playgrounds? I better stop typing now or I might just get mad enough to throw a tantrum about half-hearted parenting.

Happy and Grateful – Day 363

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Snow is pretty… pretty annoying too.  We got about 3 inches, which really isn’t much but it is one of the first all day snows we have had and it is cold… and only going to get worse.  This is Friday night and there is a wind chill advisory until Tuesday.  Ugh!  But I had to go out today… needed my prescriptions refilled and had a gift to return (wrong size) and then my daughter offered to take us out to lunch.  So I was out in the thick of it.  I was grateful there was not the freezing drizzle they had in some areas at least.

Now if you have read my blog you know I worry… about everything.  That is the nature of anxiety and depression.  But I was happy to hear from my daughter via a text message that she arrived at work ok (about a 20 to 30 minute drive away).  Often she forgets when I ask her to let me know so I was happy she didn’t.

All the tension from my first winter driving of the year has left my back in knots.  So I sit on a heating pad and took my pain meds and hope to sleep soon.  So forgive me if my writing does not make sense, I am not thinking quite clearly.

Only two more posts…. but a year worth of awareness has been great.  I hope you find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 302

The month of October is upon us.  Fall is in full swing with the leaves gathering on the lawn… maybe a pile or two to run through even.  The evenings are getting dark earlier as the days grow shorter.  And a few of us look forward to a good scare with Halloween coming this month.  Everyday has at least some small portion of good in it.  I am looking for that good with this challenge to find my happiness and gratitude every day.  Join in with the challenge by commenting or writing your own blog… let’s find some goodness today.

I spent the afternoon today going to four different stores with my daughter looking for vampire teeth.  Then when we did find some it was the one size fits all curse… they of course didn’t fit.  So she took to them with the scissors to try to get the right cut on them.  In the long run she had to just cut out the fangs and used “stitched” floss through the plastic to hook them between her teeth.  Pretty clever of her I thought.  It made me happy to do a little shopping with her.  And of course we had to stop and get some coffee while we were out.

Tonight I came home to find my boyfriend involved in a project to put a peg board over my craft desk.  It will hopefully free up some desk space and keep more things in reach.  We got about half of it put together and all measured out but need longer screws to finish it.  We have to go out tomorrow anyway for groceries so we will get the rest of the parts then.  I am grateful he is doing this project for me.

I am going to go and watch some more of the Doctor Who marathon on BBC America.  I hope to get some sleep after this episode is over.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 267

The kids are all in school, there is a growing crisp in the air.  Football games and shorter days fill the weeks.  It is September.  I have accomplished another month of acknowledging my happiness and gratitude every day.  Join me as I continue my goal of one year on this journey.  Please join in with your happiness and gratitude in the comments or your own blog post.  No matter how bad the day is there is always something worthwhile in the day.

Another summer like day today.  I think the temps are supposed to drop to a more seasonal range this week.  I am ready for the cooler temperatures and opening windows back up… I miss hearing the birds sing.

Went to price tires for my boyfriends SUV today and also looked at TVs as mine is starting to go out.  Prices really seem to be pretty comparable the two places we have checked.  It was slow going out and about today though as I was paying for the shopping I did last night with pain.  I was still grateful I was not too stiff and sore to get the shopping done.

I had an unhappy moment tonight though and maybe one of you could give me a hand.  I have used PicMonkey for my free online photo editing, but tonight it seemed to appear that they no longer have the free offering and have to pay for a membership. Do any of you know of a free online service for editing that is EASY to use?  I have used PicMonkey for a long time and hate to have to look for something else, but I cannot afford that extra money right now.

For my happy moment it would have to be getting the gifts ready for my daughter’s birthday.  I love wrapping gifts and putting ribbons and bows on them… my cat also loves to “help”.  LOL

Fatigue got the best of me… sorry this is a little late.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a good night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 259

The kids are all in school, there is a growing crisp in the air.  Football games and shorter days fill the weeks.  It is September.  I have accomplished another month of acknowledging my happiness and gratitude every day.  Join me as I continue my goal of one year on this journey.  Please join in with your happiness and gratitude in the comments or your own blog post.  No matter how bad the day is there is always something worthwhile in the day.

The days are noticeably getting shorter, the trees are already starting to change a little bit… I am not ready for fall.  Don’t get me wrong, I like fall.  It is just what comes after it that I dread.  Of course with temperatures in the 90’s we are not going to have to worry about that soon.  Although my Dad did tell me tonight they got snow in some part of Montana I think it was.  In his words, “They can keep it there.”

First day this week I have not had any appointments to get to… it was nice for a change.  I did go through my ever-growing stack of mail and shredded some nearly 30 credit card offers… and a majority were from the same company.  What a waste of paper!  But it was nice to have a fairly quiet day to get that done and I am grateful I can see that corner of the table again.

Today was not one of my happier days… really struggled with loneliness off and on today.  But I was happy to get a message or two from a friend out-of-state.  Hadn’t heard from him for a while and more than anything else it was SO NICE to have someone take the time to ask how I was doing.  I will admit I hid behind a vague answer but it was still great to think that someone actually cares how I feel.

I need to try to sleep now that the thunderstorms have calmed down a little.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a good night/day!

Monochrome Monday – Bumble Bee

This weeks picture focuses in on a smaller subject.  This buzzing bee was busy going flower to flower when I captured him.  The only time I won’t run away from a bee is when I am taking a picture of one.  Never been stung by one and don’t want to find out what it feels like.  I have enough allergies with my luck I am allergic to the sting…I’m fine living my whole life NOT knowing.  LOL  I hope you enjoy your week!

BW Bee LR.jpg

Happy and Grateful – Day 151

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Another beautiful spring day.  It was pretty uneventful.  Took my Dad to his coffee group and visited with them for an hour and a half.  I am glad my Dad still goes to that and sees some of his old friends.  He doesn’t get out much since he can’t drive.  I am happy to take him to see his friends.

Tonight was spent with the computer and then my boyfriend and I watched the start of a new series for us… Banshee.  I can see it has potential to be pretty good.  Then we tried something new before he went to bed.  He read about a green smoothie that is supposed to help you lose weight.  I have had a couple of green smoothies that were pretty good so I thought I would give it a try with him.  It is pretty heavy on the cilantro and has kind of a kick to it, but I drank it all.  I know with the fruit and veggies in it, it can’t be bad for us.  I just hope it does some good.  I am grateful that he found an easy recipe to try for a little while to see if it works.

I have a morning appointment tomorrow so I should head off to dreamland.  Here’s hoping I hear one of my four alarms I set to try to wake up on time… sad but true.  LOL