I Am Strong – FFF #185

Why do you do this

Why do you tell me

Things that aren’t true

(You’re fat)

(You’re ugly)

(You’re weak)

(You’ll never be happy)

(You’ll never succeed)

(You’re a broken failure)

Why do you echo in my head

Nonstop every day

Spewing lies to bring me down

(You’ll never stop me)

(I am in control not you)

(You’re life is rubbish)

I will make you stop

I have power you see

I AM taking control

You will no longer bring me down

I am no longer alone

I have a team to help me

(But you trust no one)

STOP!

I trust me to know the truth

That feelings are not facts

And I have strength and hope

To live my life as I see fit

Without listening to your lies anymore

*****

Written for Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge (FFFC) – #185

WDYS – Sea of Darkness

It is happening again

I feel the darkness sink in

Everything is murky

Out of focus

And so far out of reach

Then the air starts to leave me

I can’t take a breath

The water will drown me

It feels like impending death

One last time I burst upwards

Towards the light of hope

Reaching for your hand

Hoping you can find me

In this sea of fears

Where I feel myself

Drowning too often

Hoping your hand will guide me

Towards the comfort of shore

And your waiting friendship

Where I don’t feel so alone anymore

****

Written for Sadje’s prompt What Do You See (WDYS) #147

FPQ #176 – Damn, Dirty Clothes

This week Fandango has asked an interesting and potentially fun question, it is all in how you take the question – “What will your last day on Earth be like?”  Obviously, no one knows when will be there last day, well, most people don’t know.

There was a dark time when I would have said my time was soon, but that has thankfully passed me.  So, no last day wrapped around a big tree for me.  But do I revert back to that essay I wrote in high school about my death in my 30th year just having had a song I co-wrote hit the top ten?  Nah, that is well past me in years and ambitions now.

I have seen one person die in front of me and although Dad was having a bit of difficulty breathing, I don’t think he suffered.  I don’t want to suffer.  And my Mom passed in her sleep so I imagine just like how life can enter a dream, she just dreamed to peace and quiet.

Now for a little honesty.  Not that my Mom and Dad’s deaths were not like that, but how do I think my last day will be?  I do not live a glamourous life.  I currently live alone (but hope that may change someday) with my three cats.  I only drive minimally, so I think the car crash option is off the table.  Will I eat meat that is expired and suffer terrible stomach pains?  Will I see my cats turn on me and slowly bleed to death with scratches head to toe?  No, I think it honestly will be a heart attack doing something that is a minor thing but can get my heart pumping.  I think maybe running up and down the stairs with laundry … someone will find me half on a step with laundered clothes everywhere.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

How would I like to spend that last day?  In love’s bliss with someone I care very deeply for.  In and out of bed acting like a teenager and loving every minute of it.  Ah, what a way to go!

I do want to mention one other possibility.  My last day “on earth” could be headed to a remote colony on the moon or Mars, but I honestly think that is another generation or two down the line, if we don’t kill the planet first.  I need to go get the clothes out of the dryer now… wish me luck.

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Written for Fandango’s Provocative Question #176

Watch It – FPQ #175

I think this is a first for me.  I have answered Fandango’s Provocative Question in the comments before, but this week there was just too much to the question(s) to put in the comments so lets just into it.

This week Fandango asks:

For this week’s provocative question, I’m going to ask you about your TV viewing habits. My questions are below if you care to answer, either in the comments or on your own post. Ready?

  • What country do you live in?
  • How many televisions do you have in your home?
  • On average, how many hours a day do you watch TV?
  • What kinds of programs do you typically watch (e.g., news, sports, movies, dramas, sitcoms, reality shows)?
  • Do you watch programs as they are aired or do you record them and watch them at other times?
  • Do you mostly watch “network” TV? Premium cable channels (e.g., HBO, Showtime)? Streaming channels (e.g., Netflix, Hulu, Prime Video, Disney+, Apple+)?
  • How often, if at all, do you use other devices than television (e.g., computers, smartphones) to watch programs?
Photo by Nothing Ahead on Pexels.com

First of all I am in the middle of the United States with only one TV in my house.  From here the questions get a little grey.  Used to be I would have the TV on 24/7, but barely watched it.  It was “company” in an empty house.

I am in the process of changing things a little.  I am slowly getting into streaming what I want to watch as opposed to what is on cable.  I have been listening to Amazon Music during the days at my computer and doing things around the house as pain allows me to.  But usually I watch the local ten o’clock news and then it is more like background noise again until morning as I find it hard to sleep in a quiet house… although through the years I have learned no home is ever truly quiet, especially with three cats.  So, as the set may be on about 10 to 12 hours depending on how late I am up (I am a night owl) I maybe only watch 2 to 4 hours.

I watch the local news and a mix of old shows I loved (Quantum Leap and The Carol Duvall show this week) and new discoveries (Squid Game and Downton Abbey) and the occasional movie I have on my to watch list (the original War of the Worlds and Forbidden Planet).  So, I watch a mix of “live” and on demand shows.  I rarely record anything.

As for the last two questions… all of the above. Local news (TV), movies (Starz, HBO, Disney) and streaming channels I am starting to discover more and more.  However almost all of these are watched on the TV, with an occasional viewing on my computer.  The phone screen is just too small.  But music still reigns number one in my house – computer, tv music channels or the good old fashioned radio.  How do you view?

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Written for Fandango’s Provocative Question (FPQ) #175