A fourth of the way through this challenge I got to put on my Mom hat. It is a hat I dearly love to wear. And since my daughter is on her own it is rare that I get to wear the hat like I used to. But today my daughter asked me to.
My daughter is sick. Nothing major just the common cold, but it is one of the few times she wants her mom still. She called asking if we had any chicken noodle soup in our pantry that I could bring to her. A well prepared mom I jumped into action and pulled two cans from the shelves and set off to make a delivery.
She is actually on the tail end of the cold. Her fever seems to have broken and she and I found a couple of things to laugh about as we sipped some tea and waited for the soup to warm. I certainly don’t want my daughter to be sick, but am glad to still be needed at times.
Time to restock the pantry to be ready the next time… it is almost a perfect record of her getting sick every year around Christmas time since she was little so there will be more need I am sure. I will set my hat back on the shelf for now and embrace the feeling of love and being needed while it is still fresh. I love being a mom.
Today’s happiness was a sigh of relief. I have a vivid imagination…which in turn means when I worry I can cook up a million terrifying scenarios as to the outcome of a situation. My best friend went silent a little over a week ago and my mind went wild.
My friend and I have kept in close contact for a while now… usually at least 3 or 4 times a week we will text each other, if not talk too. After the third text was not replied to my mind went into overdrive. I had every horror scene playing through my thoughts. I believe I called 4 times at different hours to try to find him, but each call went straight to voicemail.
I tried to calm myself reminding me that he said he cracked his phone screen… maybe it is his phone is out of commission, or maybe he met a bear on a mountain trail? Do you see how my brain works with the worry… I credit my mom for a lot of it. She was a first class worrier too.
But today the imagination was shut down by the vibration of my cell phone. My friend called and I no longer could blame the evil clowns for his demise. He was fine, although has a cold. It was his phone was broken and had to wait for payday to get it fixed. You know… that makes sense. The worst case scenarios can be tucked away for now, until the next thing happens to make my mind wander…
I know the truth
you are my world…
I realize how important
you are to me.
I understand the connection
that ties us together.
I recognize the feeling
of pure love.
I grasp the knowledge
of your worth.
I comprehend that
raw desire deep inside.
I know the truth
you are my world…
I have tried to find a way to express the fond memories I have been reliving today thanks to the daily word prompt, but cannot get it down in a poetic flow today. So I am combining the daily prompt with my 100 Days of Happiness today.
Growing up we would travel the 3 hours every summer to spend time with out grandparents. They had an amazing house that they actually built themselves, including digging the ground for the basement. But I remember many summers in the front yard playing next to a beautiful weeping willow tree.
We would run through a sprinkler and seek shade under the willow. It would be the home base for a game of tag. The tree was even a guard of sorts that protected us from the busy corner of the street it was on. It became the out-of-bounds area for throwing frisbees to however many family members we could get to play. It was also the perfect back drop for some family pictures through the years.
Every time I see a weeping willow my mind goes back to that special one in my youth I will always think fondly of. No weeping tonight, only gentle smiles from memories recalled.
Today has been a struggle. From the friend who has been absent for a week now – in my run away mind I have gone through all the worst case scenarios as to why he is out of contact; to the pain and fatigue my fibromyalgia has left me with today I, am finding it hard to find happiness.
I have thought all day about what to write and keep hearing those negative voices that tell me not to bother, I can’t finish the challenge, I can’t be happy about anything, etc. But tonight as I was writing something for my therapist to read at the next appointment we have on Thursday it came to me… writing today is my happiness.
To have the chance to write my concerns down and let my head have a rest from them for a little while really helps me loosen the grip on the pain and anguish I feel. Even if it only lasts a short time, the outlet of writing helps me sort through things in a way nothing else can.
So I want to thank my readers for being there to “listen” to my ramblings… I hopefully will have something a little more upbeat tomorrow. In the mean time I am off to try a meditation to help me find some sleep. I hope you know I appreciate each of you taking the time to be my audience. (((HUGS)))
Watching a smile spread across someone else’s face can often be contagious. That was evident today as I listened to my daughter talk about the concert she traveled to Chicago for. She was almost a glow with happiness as she recalled the events of the night and it was hard not to smile just listening.
Maybe I was returning to my youth when I would attend many concerts (I love live music). I saw more than a dozen performers in my younger day traveling to four other states to see certain acts. There is just something about live music that can fill you with such energy.
No matter if it was my love of music or my love for my daughter, I was definitely touched by her enthusiasm when she told her story. I couldn’t help but feel a tug at the corners of my mouth and smile with happiness for her and the nostalgia of youth.
Today’s moment of happiness is a no brainer. My daughter traveled to Chicago over the weekend (first time there) and anytime she travels any distance I worry. She and a friend went to see a little of the city and to go to a concert. It sounds like she had a great time, even though she was left with a strained voice after shouting at the show.
When she returned this morning I breathed a sigh of relief. I am a big worrier, always have been… just like my mom was. Maybe there is some genetic connection there or just me learning the behavior from her. All I know is that text message at 6am was enough to give me a smile and ease my mind. Glad she had a good time… even more glad she is home.
Today I had a craving filled. The return of autumn often means the return of some real good comfort foods that warm the belly. I am happy to have a boyfriend that enjoys cooking and helping a lot in the kitchen. For dinner it was all his show as he made some good homemade chili that simmered and temped us with its aroma all day. My recent craving for it just grew and grew as the day went on until the blissful happiness of that first spoonful. The flavor you can only get from home cooking and that extra little kick of spice that warms the tongue long after the bite is swallowed satisfied me for the night. Now comes the craving for seconds!
music tied to memories
tug at my heartstrings
creating its own symphony
that fills me with peace and harmony
Sometimes there is that one song that comes on the radio and can make you laugh, cry or smile wide… today was that day for me. I had a flashback to a happy time and thought of a friend I have lost touch with. Kind of a sadness at the end of the song, but it did bring a smile to my face when it was on. I have a lot of songs I relate to people or times and music is a huge part of my life… I thank my parents for my love of all musical styles, but that is a whole different blog on music love. Here is hoping you can hear that song that always makes you smile with memories of happiness today!