My internet went out last night…and it was horrible I had to find something to do that required no connection, yikes! In all seriousness, I was really looking forward to last nights post as it is one that makes me happy and humbled… I have more than 100 followers now.
Starting out this blog I wanted to have a connection with a least a few readers. I know I have not followed any one path in my writing and for that I apologize. I find the daily prompt a lot of fun to challenge my creative side and this 100 day challenge has been good for my depression. I have above all always tried to stay true to myself in all that I write though and that has not wavered at all.
I am not a great writer, but I feel so grateful to have a number of people who on some level can connect with my writing. THANK YOU all for taking the time to read my posts. I plan to continue to bring words forward as long as my muses let me. Now I must go see what the word of the day is and try to stretch the brain a little more for a poem or post. Thanks again! (((HUGS)))
Another night got away from me. Fatigue and insomnia… it is a coin flip on which will happen. Last night it was fatigue and who knows what tonight will have in store. So once again here is yesterday’s and today’s post for my happiness days in one blog…
Day 67 – There are times you just have to cave in to cravings, even if they are for food that is not good for you. My daughter called last week and was sharing a craving. She said she had been wanting pigs in a blanket for a while now and I should invite her over for dinner and have that… no, she is not subtle at times. So tonight was pigs in a blanket with cheese inside all ooey-gooey and melty. It is one of those foods that is far from gourmet, but sometime you just have to do it for the good of comfort foods! And because your daughter asked nicely.
Day 68 – This may seem strange but my happiness today came from a sweatshirt. In the fall when the crisp is in the air but I am too stubborn to turn on the furnace yet there is nothing like the feeling of a warm soft fuzzy sweatshirt to keep the chill off. My boyfriend bought me one for my birthday last month and it was just the thing to wear most of the day to stay comfy and cozy in.
The words burned my heart
You compared her to me
“Not to be rude…” is what you said
But rude was not the comparison –
It was a flash fire scorching my love
Leaving my devotion in ashes
Wondering what I ever did wrong
That you didn’t want me…
For the daily prompt scorched
Today once again I turn to writing to bring me happiness, but today is a little different. A friend of mine from back in our high school days has a birthday coming up and I am writing a time travel letter to take her back to the 1980’s. Some of the silly things we did as teenagers – hanging out at the video arcade, thinking we were hot stuff when we would go to the college campus stores to flirt with the college guys, the notes we wrote in school, the lunch runs in senior year to the store blocks away to buy and eat junk food… There was so much we did then that you would be in trouble or serious danger if you did these days, but we had a ball and lived through it all. It has been fun pulling out all the old memories for her letter… I hope it gives her as big of a smile as writing it has given me. Do you ever walk down memory lane back to the things you did as a kid and wonder how you made it out alive? Have fun with some old memories today! (((HUGS)))
Things seem like they are falling apart lately. Too many problems and not enough solutions. My boyfriends way to deal with this was to start drinking again after being sober for 4 years. It has brought back memories of my ex-husband and his battle with alcoholism. Today I tried to find some peace the best way I know how (besides walking in nature) – I went to an Al-Anon meeting. I used to go regularly for nearly two years. Then I had health issues that kept me away. I am hoping to settle back into a regular meeting time and find a little peace. It was good to be in a room full of others who have similar issues. We even laughed a little tonight and I really needed that. So even in the middle of the chaos that is my life right now, I can still find some happiness in a day and I am so very grateful for that!
I have once again had a night that got away from me so I will have to do two posts in one tonight…
Day 63 – I got a letter from a good friend of mine today. She used to work with my Dad actually and I tagged along a couple of times to lunches they had together… now I am so glad I did, because she became such a good friend. She is a beautiful soul who is strong, loving and afraid of nothing. She has a wonderfully quiet place in the country now and shares beautiful nature photos and stories of the birds, butterflies and assorted farm pets with me. Her letters are a joy, almost as much as she is. She gave me more than one smile today!
Day 64 – Tonight has been a tough one for me for several reasons but I am happy I have words. Words to express my pain and fear (my post on the daily prompt filthy) words to tell a friend I care (a small text exchange for a friend in some stress) and words to clear my head (my journal writing). On days like today if I did not have words, if my muse left me, I think I would just curl up in a ball and waste away. Writing can bring a peace that nothing else can touch sometimes… very therapeutic.
Alcohol is a filthy word
When you speak it,
You slur the word so bad…
You crawl to the bed
And ask me to understand,
You needed an escape…
You pass out instead of sleep
And the stress we share,
For me, has just been doubled…
I cannot speak,
I am the one numb now
Uncertain what tomorrow will bring…
My grandfather used to hate Mondays… always seemed to be the day of the week when things would go wrong. I had a pretty good weekend, then today came along. Stress, anxiety, depression… it is all trying to gang up on me again. Money issues are really hitting us hard right now and with my car making a mystery sound I am so worried about repair costs. We have been putting off a recall repair (which will be free, but will take time) so decided today to set up an appointment and ask about the sound. Luckily the mechanic said it did not sound like anything serious and could be fixed when they do the recall repairs. That was a big relief to me! Not only do I need the car for my medical visits, but I am driving my Dad around now too as he has no license. So this turned out to be a good news Monday… my grandpa would never believe it.
Set me in front of
An ocean view cut away
Let me hear the water move
Let me see the fish swim
Set me in front of
A salt water world
Let me watch the coral breathe
Let me see the seaweed dance
…bring the sea life closer to me
Let me take in their world
from my aquarium.
Today was just as I expected. I pushed myself a little too much yesterday in fun, today I pay for it with pain and stiffness. But the show must go on or something like that. I gathered up all my energy spoons and went to the store to shop for my Dad. I am glad I did. I saw a friend who had recently had back surgery. We talked for a while then continued on our way. Then I ran into a former neighbor who also has a daily battle with fibromyalgia and the two of us caught up a bit on where we were on the pain scale. So it turned out to be a fun trip to the store despite the pain. Seeing friends always makes me happy.