I had a little of the creative muse flowing through me today… that makes me happy. When the words are coming I don’t tend to dwell on the negative. I may write about it, but then it is out of my head and onto the screen or paper.
After the daily post I just kept writing for myself and added two more poems to my personal collection. Every poem that I complete and am pleased with makes me feel accomplished. When I share one here and others like it or comment on it, it really makes me feel a little less invisible. It really is a type of therapy for me.
So while I still have the muse present I think I will try to write some more. This is one of those split nights for me… I slept a few hours and now am wide awake with 3 or 4 hours left to sleep. Oh well… sleep is overrated isn’t it? LOL May your muse be with you today… (((HUGS)))
Laying in our bed
I relish the memory
Of us entwined –
Longing for the past
Before you were ripped away
Taken before your time
By the vixen in a bottle
Music is a big part of my life. There are not many days that I don’t listen to some kind of music at some point in time. So it is no surprise then that I love movie musicals or movies with great soundtracks.
Today after my boyfriend and I watched a show we had recorded on our DVR I checked the channel guide to see what was on and I caught a movie just starting that I have watched many times and know the soundtrack well. It is the movie The Rose with Bette Midler. I love the music and although sad it is a very good movie. Bette puts so much emotion in all her songs you really feel them. It really draws me into the movie every time.
So now I am thinking tomorrow it is time to bring out some DVDs to watch – Chicago, Rent, The Big Chill…just to name a few. Even the soundtrack to Star Wars and the Harry Potter films are really great to listen to. What are some of your favorite movie musical/soundtracks?
Have I ever mentioned that depression can really suck? This was one of those days I spent half of the day in bed. No energy, no ambition and I could care less about anything. The further the day went on the more I began to struggle with myself. I am still fixing dinners for my dad and I just didn’t know how I was going to get that done. I knew I had to go to the store first to pick up a few things for him. This seemed impossible to do. I weighed the option of throwing on a baseball cap and going without a shower. I though maybe just half of the list today and half tomorrow, but that would only double my anxiety.
Finally around four in the afternoon I drug myself to the bathroom to shower. I then sat afterwards debating the store another couple of hours but I did feel a bit better after the shower. I decided there was no getting around it and finally left a little after six. I put on my blinders and pretended I was the only one at the store and in about twenty minutes had the task finished. Only one more task before I could return to the safety of my recliner.
I took the groceries to Dad’s house and got him some dinner rounded up. Talked for a little bit and then retreated to my car. I had gotten it done. I actually accomplished something in spite of wanting to do absolutely nothing. I found the energy somewhere, someway. I guess I can take a little pride and happiness in that. I returned to home and my sweatpants and t-shirt and my comfy chair feeling a little better. Feeling a little happy actually that I got around the beast of depression for an hour or so and got something done with my miserable day. Now tomorrow it starts all over again…
Blood pounds at the base of my skull
I feel short of breath with each beat
My eyes want to close; the light overwhelming
Every little sound amplified three times
It all echoes in my head again and again and again
Only relief is quiet, dark, stillness…too close to death
(I found this in my drafts this afternoon… sorry I was sure I had posted this last night, but I guess I was dreaming.)
Today is the 3rd of November… we should be thinking about turning on the furnace. Instead the windows are wide open and the fan is on. I can’t believe the overly mild weather we had in October and now November is providing more of the same. It was nice enough I walked to my weekly doctor appointment today; no coat or sweatshirt, just my t-shirt. I am sure these days are to come to an end soon so I am trying to take advantage of it while I can. The extended forecast still looks good all week. So as long as I can I will take in the fresh air of fall and be happy with each breath.
I want to take a ride
To places far away
I want to see you again
To share a special day
I want to tell you truths
About the way I feel
I want to be sincere
About a love that is real
I want to touch you again
And feel hidden desire
I want to embrace the two of us
And let love take us higher
First of all I must apologize for not writing last night. It was another night the chronic fatigue got the most of me and I was out for the night. And I just can’t help but repeat a little bit…
Day 49 – It was another great game in the World Series. The Cubs won by a little wider margin this time. I had to stop in the middle of the game and run to my Dad’s house, but I didn’t miss much. I was looking at the bases loaded and told my boyfriend that it would sure be nice to get a home run about now… and they DID! A grand slam… if only I really had that kind of power to make it happen. LOL
Day 50 – Do you have to ask? Do you have to wonder? Heck this is easy… the Cubs WIN the World Series!!!! My mom and my former father-in-law were both big Chicago fans – they are celebrating in heaven tonight. There was a party in the apartment building across the street and you could hear them shouting and setting off fireworks and then they began singing. “Go Cubs Go…” It is good to be able to celebrate something positive. Both teams gave the series their all and were great teams.
Now that the series is over it is back to business as usual. My boyfriend will be able to get to bed closer to his normal time. I won’t have to race between here and my Dad’s on commercial breaks at the inning to try to miss as little as possible. It will be back to my usual college football games to cheer on. But once more before I go… way to go Cubbies!
This is one of my easiest days to do. This was trick-or-treat night for our town tonight and just like my mom used to do, I love seeing all the little ones dressed up in celebration of the holiday. My boyfriend and I live in an apartment building that does not get many kids, so we helped my dad out tonight. He has trouble getting up and down to keep answering the door, so we went to answer his door and hand our treats.
A pretty good year for him… he ended up with 32 costumed kids, a handful of costumed parents and 3 sorority sisters looking for food bank donations. By far super heroes ruled the night. We saw multiple Batman, Ironman and Superman show up. Star Wars as always was represented. But I feel the winner of the night was an adorable little boy who had a magician’s costume on. He had matching sequined vest, hat band and wand; top hat and suit…he couldn’t have been more than 4 or 5 years old.
As usual though you can never guess how much candy to buy. I remember years with nice weather nearing the 100s of children and cold years with next to no one. This year was a beautiful upper 60s with mostly cloudy skies. But we still over estimated and now there is left over candy as we will never be caught running out. Some how I will suffer through a little chocolate to help dad get rid of the rest. LOL!
The forbidden forest beckons
Enter if you dare
Cross the witches trail
Be ready for a scare
The forbidden forest darkens
As doom seeps into the air
You begin to feel the pull
As if it drags you there
The forbidden forest wails
An eerie kind of cry
Put on your bravest face
There is no time to be shy
The forbidden forest whispers
A haunting lullaby
Keep your wits about you
Or else you might just die
The forbidden forest surrounds
As if to swallow you whole
The night gives you no guidance
The skies as black as coal
The forbidden forest echoes
As you take your final stroll
Be wise in what you say
Or a demon may steal your soul…