Fan The Embers

Is it so much to ask for,

Is it so much to want,

To be loved by someone

Who has a passion so infinite

The flames would never die out.

 

A passion insatiable

But only for me.

That I would work endlessly to quell

And beg to have quench me.

Only he knows what I want,

what I crave,

what I need.

 

…but why can’t he see

That passion in me?

Vague Memories

The specific details are hard to recall

But you were there and that started it all

 

It started a heartbeat deep in my soul

When you took my hand and we went for a stroll

 

I remember we walked

I remember we talked

 

But what was said and where we went

I don’t recall during this event

 

All I know is we were close and you held me tight

My body reacted on that special night

 

And I saw you in a different light

And I loved you with all my might

 

When you did what you do

I felt brand new

 

Now my love is forever deep inside for you

And it all started with a dream from out of the blue

Happy and Grateful – Day 6

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

I must apologize for taking almost a full day to write this.. I knew what I was going to write half-way through the day, but laundry, pain and fatigue kept me from writing much.  But I am here now and yesterday was a wonderful day… at least a couple of hours of it was.  I met two wonderful women I worked with for lunch and we sat and talked for about 2 1/2 hours.  It is always good to see them.  One of them is nearing the stage in her life she may have to move a couple of hours away to take care of her ailing mother.  Right now her brothers are helping out some but eventually she will need more around the clock care.  It will be hard to see her move but at least she will be a days drive away to still visit when able.

I am grateful I still have friends from work I can communicate with and still have a small bit of a “social life” to enjoy.  It was a very happy few hours of talk and laughter.  I need more days like that.  Unfortunately I can’t afford them very often and they both still work so coordinating schedules is sometimes a challenge.  But it made this Friday a good day!

Floating Dreams

My heart floats high

Like a childs balloon

Whenever I get the chance

To talk to you

 

It’s like a marvelous dream

In my mind again and again

Whenever you text

That I’m in your thoughts

 

And my soul is ignited

With emotion so deep

Whenever you say

You love me

 

But I stand firmly on the ground

And know I am wide awake

Whenever you need me

The way that I need you

Happy and Grateful – Day 5

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

Day 5 was when 3 and 4 caught up with me.  I did still have to take my Dad to a doctor’s appointment, but for the evening I was pretty much a zombie.  That is ok.  My body gets to a point where it is very convincing and I have learned to listen to it.  My boyfriend is great when the fatigue gets the best of me. The only trouble is I get behind on my writing.  I should not even be writing this now, but my friends I am supposed to meet for lunch know I tend to run a little late.  LOL  So I was happy last night to have an evening of rest and recovery.  Grateful that there was nothing I had to do to interfere with my recovery.

Tempted

His eyes are mesmerizing

His gaze inviting

I know I shouldn’t

But I am tempted

 

His hands are gentle

His touch electric

I know I shouldn’t

But I am tempted

 

His words are magical

His voice hypnotic

I know I shouldn’t

But I am tempted

 

His life is carefree

His attitude freedom

I know I shouldn’t

But I am tempted

 

… I can’t betray him

I can’t escape

I know I won’t

But still I am tempted

Happy and Grateful – Day 4

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

Timing, fate, karma, a guardian angel… however you want to look at it, it came together for me.  I had another appointment out-of-town.  I dread the drive there, I dread the drive back.  The timing of this appointment put me right at the start of rush hour traffic on the way home.

I was almost out of the worst of it and headed to the highway for a straight shot home, when I looked into my rear-view mirror.  I happened to see a deer fly through the air and another one turn back around instead of crossing the road.  Just maybe two car lengths behind me was where this happened.  I had just missed being the one to face the deer head on.

I can gladly say I have never hit an animal with my car… in this area there are plenty of deer to contend with.  I have seen deer in many rural areas, but this was the first time in a very busy area of town I have seen deer.

Bottom line was I got lucky on the trip home.  It could have very easily been me in that spot at that moment they crossed the highway.  I am happy I do not have car damage that needs to be fixed, or injuries that need to heal.  And grateful my trip home was a safe one.

Crossing The Line

Sometimes I think about crossing the line

The line of right and wrong

The line of good and bad

Sometimes I feel alone in this life I have

Loved but forgotten

Needed but not wanted

Sometimes I dream of a moment with him

A moment of passion

A moment of pleasure

Sometimes I want to escape

To where I can start new

To where I matter

Sometimes I think about crossing the line…

Happy and Grateful – Day 3

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

I am late posting this… darn fatigue!  But it was a busy day yesterday spent on the go and my fibro body takes only so much and then screams, “STOP!”  I just need to learn to write sometime before the stop and hope my happy and grateful moment has occurred.

Yesterday was a trip out-of-town to see my fibro doctor.  For some reason the hundreds of doctors here in town don’t want to treat fibromyalgia.  It is very frustrating.  But I have had some concerns over a new problem with my knee. My mind tends to over think everything… even a new pain.  The doctor seems to think it is just arthritis setting in but took an x-ray to be sure.  I feel better about that.

Just knowing I have a doctor than listens to my worries and does what needs to be done makes me grateful to have found her.  I am happy to have someone who believes in fibro that I can see… there are still doubters in medical field unfortunately.

Doctors are not people I want to see everyday, but I am so grateful I have some good ones in my life.  Cancer, fibromyalgia, depression all have led me to some of the good ones in the profession.  Don’t get me wrong I have had the ones that aren’t so understanding – the doctor who diagnosed me with fibro but wouldn’t tell me, the doctor that said my fatigue was “sleep intoxication”, and the one who refused to see me since I was only making payments on the bill.

I hope you all have been lucky enough to have good doctors.  And if not, I hope you have the strength to keep looking until you find that good ones.  (((HUGS)))