Acceptance

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I can’t do it anymore

Force the smile

When inside I cry

I was so hurt

When you left me

And things spiraled

Out of control

I have lost others

From my life

And a big piece

Of who I am

I have to finish

This deception

And no longer

Turn away from

The pain I feel

Let the tears flow

And embrace the pain

If I ever want to

Be whole again


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – finish

No Longer Afraid (FOWC)

The mirror tells the tale
Of a hard battle
I finally may have won
Fighting with the image I see
Was where I used to be
Now I embrace me
The good
The bad
The in between
And all that is right and wrong
I am no longer afraid
Of the face that stares back
After years of struggle
I am learning to accept me

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – mirror

All Filled Up

Strong emotions get bottled-up inside of me

I need a way to funnel them out

And free my mind and heart

But just when I start to feel at ease

Another wave washes over me

And I am drowning in a sea

If only I was able to control what I feel

Taking it little by little instead of all at once

Maybe I could handle some kind of acceptance

Until then I roll with the rhythm of the waves

In and out like a wild ride

Keeping it all inside

Happy and Grateful – Day 21

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

I stayed in bed today… probably for too long.  I just was so tired.  I fought the fatigue and didn’t go back to sleep, but I didn’t get the energy to move for quite a while.  I hate when days start off like this.  It makes it seem like I am fighting from behind to catch up all day.  Add in the fatigue and I never get ahead or even break even.  So I am trying to learn to just accept my limitations on these kinds of days.  But acceptance is not easy.

I limited what I did today down to the necessities, no extras.  I postponed a trip to the store for a day with more energy.  I hate the way fibromyalgia robs me of so much energy but I am getting better at recognizing it and adjusting.  At least the pain level was not higher along with the fatigue this flare.

I can be happy in the way I am learning to deal with my illness even if I hate it.  I am grateful that I have medicine that helps and the ability to work things around my flares.  I hope this is a short one and I am back on a more positive day tomorrow.