Will I ever know the truth
Especially now that you’re gone
You would always talk about her
And you often worked late
It was easy for me to suspect
Those conversations were not all innocent
And those late nights were not lonely
But I think I need to let it go
Forgive you if you did
Dismiss it if you didn’t
It doesn’t change much
Just holds my heart in anguish
And gives birth to useless thoughts
So where ever you are now
The past is over and I can finally
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – suspect
The ceremony started right at one o’clock with the groom and groomsmen entering the church. The bridesmaids entered and the music grew louder signaling the bride to come in. Everyone turned in their seats to see her enter, but she wasn’t there.
The bride stood in front of the mirror in jeans and a t-shirt placed the note on the table and quietly went out the back door. She would not put up with the lies anymore. She had suspected an affair, but today’s truth was too much. He could be with the other women. She felt so free now.
He actually accused me of cheating. We sat in the car battling tears over a separation I had to have to save my sanity and he said I was having an affair. I did not cheat. I still to this day think he did though.
We were married for twenty years and over half of that time was a struggle with his alcoholism. I worked so hard to keep the image of the happy family in everyone’s eyes. But there were two people I always wondered if he was untrue with. Both he worked with at one time and he just talked about them too much. The stories about work seemed to revolve around them. Even one of them well after she stopped working there.
I know the one woman tried to be friends with me but seemed so fake, like she was trying to cover something up. She always laughed far too much at his stories when we would meet in public. I know she was involved with a married man at one time so it was not out of the ordinary to think she would have been with my then husband.
The second woman I could never really come up with anything other than a feeling, but I know she was the center of his conversations for a long time. He even talked once of letting her stay with us on a night of a snow storm, but said she declined. I was horrified at the thought and glad I did not have to face the possible reality.
I will never know the truth. My ex-husband died far too young from the abuse the alcohol caused his body. Does it really matter? It would not have changed things any. His drinking was the heart of our problems and he seemed unsure that he needed to stop, even after our divorce. So in a way he cheated on me for many years with his mistress alcohol.