Mumbles… my tardy life

I see the word tardy and I instantly think of my days in school, especially in junior high. I am not sure why I struggled so then, but I managed to get a couple of detentions for my tardies. Then I joined the work force after I was done with school and had a job where you were not allowed to clock in even a minute early so I ended up waiting until the last-minute to leave and on more than one occasion I was tardy again. Then as jobs change…

I ended up in a daytime job. By this time I knew I was NOT a morning person at all, but it was a good job and I needed daytime hours to offset my husband’s night hours so we didn’t need a babysitter very often for our daughter.

Life became chaotic with a spouse who was a “functioning alcoholic” and me trying to do everything to keep that fact hidden from our daughter. Sleep suffered greatly and guess who was once again late? We adjusted my schedule a little and it worked for a while. Then I got sick.

I have depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia and all of it affects sleep in some way. The tardies increased, I got warnings at work, I tried a short leave of absence to balance my life out. Then my mother died. and the emotions got worse.

My husband and I separated and I began to have panic attacks on the way to work. Needless to say I could not drive in that condition, so I was again tardy. Working with my doctor we set up an intermittent leave of absence for my panic attacks. That worked until I was tardy so often my maximum leave of absence time was used up. So I left work.

Now I have to work through anxiety before appointments so I am not late, which doesn’t always work. I often push a 15 minute window beyond a set time to arrive to gatherings with family and friends. I have decided it is just in my genes to be tardy. I just try to do the best I can and if I miss something because of it that is something I just have to live with. … heck, I am even tardy posting on here for the daily prompts. Will you forgive the perpetually late person in me? LOL

Ever Hear Of Moderation

My glass of wine

Grows lukewarm

While your bottle of scotch

Just disappears

Don’t you ever think

about your actions

I feel bad just

Having a small glass

Yet you drink

Half of a bottle

On an empty stomach

Obviously you never learned

The boy scout way

Of always being prepared

Right now you are

Not ready for anything

Except to sleep it off

Until tomorrow night…