Faceless

Photo by George Milton on Pexels.com

Who am I?

Am I even real?

Is this all an elaborate fantasy

Or just ideas swimming in my mind?

I am a faceless, nameless soul,

Just a ghost of a person.

An anonymous collection of thoughts

Typed into my computer

And put out into the world

For the hope of a connection

That makes someone who is also

Nameless and faceless,

Lost and alone,

To find and gain a little peace from.


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – anonymous

Fandango’s Provocative Question #64

Fandango has a question he poses every week… this week I think I will join in with my answer.  From his post:

Before I ever started blogging, I was talking with a guy who was a blogger. I asked him why he enjoyed blogging. His answer surprised me. He said that on his blog, he could be the man he always wanted to be. He added that he liked who he was on his blog better than who he was in the real world.

That floored me. I couldn’t fathom how someone could be one person in real life and another person in a virtual life. But he explained that he could more freely express himself on his blog. That he was actually more forthright, honest, and open about his opinions, perspectives, and beliefs in the blogosphere than he could ever be in real life, where he felt constrained by the etiquette of polite society. His blogging self, he said, was more reflective of who he was than his “real” self. My mind was blown.

So my question this week is this.

Are you the same person on your blog as you are in real life? Do you like yourself more in the virtual world than you do in the real world?

I am kind of like I am in real life… kind of.  Here with an anonymous blog I feel more open and honest.  In real life I am a scared shy lady who is afraid and depressed a lot.  I think here because I am so honest and open I feel stronger as a person.  If I have feelings for someone, I find it easier to “talk” to them through a poem or words in general; I get tongue tied carrying on a conversation a lot.  I just don’t have the confidence I seem to find somewhere in my writing.

Do I like myself more?  That’s a tough one.  I think I do prefer the blog me.  I don’t have much self-worth in real life.  I am starting to believe my writing is ok.  I have a few followers that tell me I am doing a good job anyway.  And I think I have more friends in the blogging community than I trust in real life.  I have three people in the last 8 or 9 years that have just turned around and walked away.  So, it is hard to trust… and my ex-husband didn’t help me with the trust issues with him being an alcoholic.  But yes, I like my blogging me better than the real world me.

 

Written for Fandango’s Provocative Question (#FPQ) #64