A mundane existence
Is what I dream of
No nights of torment
No days of depression
Just an ordinary time
A few clouds in the sky
But no rain
But no blooms
Perfectly in the middle
Never either extreme
To live life completely balanced
A mundane existence
That is my dream
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – mundane
It is near the end of the time originally planned to stay with my Dad. It has been hard to keep my life in balance while I am helping him out. Thankfully my boyfriend has been very understanding while I have been gone 12 hours a day. Of course a lot of that time he would be asleep, but I still miss him.
Dad is doing better. He is still having issues with shortness of breath but the pulmonologist is happy with his scans so it is just what he has to deal with now I guess. I am sure if he would put down the pipe and cigarettes that would help. He has one more visit from the physical therapist on Friday and then we decide how much help he still needs and how much help he can afford… home health aides are far from free.
My sister and I have talked about maybe him having some help three days a week then we each get two days… that would be easier on all of us. It is just a matter of seeing what Dad wants too. I know being a night owl has been hard on him with people coming in to help out in the morning,
So I try to spend time with both my Dad and my boyfriend and I get to throw in a little me time to keep my sanity balanced, or at least attempt to. And it is once again time to post this, pack up my stuff and head to Dad’s. I will me back to try to catch up more tomorrow. I hope you all have a good night/day! (((HUGS)))
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – balance
As the day comes to an end
I try to organize my thoughts
Tuck away the hurt and pain
Discard the sorrow and worry
Save what joy and love there is
And brush off the anger and jealousy
Tomorrow will be a new chance
To try to get it right
To embrace the bad with the good
And not let it overwhelm me
The puddles are gathering at the park and I felt I had to be there. I had to be there because I missed the past. I missed walking. And I missed seeing things growing and thriving in spite of adversity. Some one simply had to say that I could “still take walks” to give me the strength to get back to the trails. I may be slower on my journey around a much smaller section of the park. It is not the long path I used to walk two or three times a week. But back then it was easy to walk for an hour or more… it was only the beginning of where my life would change. Some good and some bad, but I still say I survived so many of the changes because I found that link in nature to a part of me that was more at peace.
It is amazing how a simple song bird can calm a chaotic mind. How the rustling of leaves can blow away fears lurking deep within. How the cool moisture of a random raindrop can refresh a haunted soul. Sunshine may warm the skin, but it is not here today and that is ok. We have to have rain to keep nature revolving through its life span, just as we have to have a balance of sadness and joy in our lives. Too much of any one thing can tilt the scales into reckless destruction.
I took the time to inhale a bit of healing. The steps may be harder to take as the days wear on, but each one screams, “I am still alive!” The flowers bloom and the river flows faster as I limp over the bridge. There is a bridge to the future somewhere ahead. I will find it and one way or another get across. Let the rain fall. Let the birds sing. Let life renew. I am at peace for the moment. I am still alive.