Y-O-U

Photo by Anna Shvets on Photo by Git Stephen Gitau from Pexels

Don’t get me wrong

I’m not crazy

Im only going

Slighty berserk

Checking and rechecking

To see if you

Really care

**

Try to understand

Before I was hurt

Lied to a lot

Uncertain of reality

He demolished

Our special world

**

Now I hope

I don’t scare you

When I say

You matter to me

More than you should

**

I am not going

Over the edge

I am only trying

To cling to

A little normalcy

Called you


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – berserk

Everything To Me

Photo by Francesca Zama on Pexels.com

You speak harshly

Instead of a caring voice

Like you are my boss

Still

You are everything to me

A bond that I can never sever

**

You treat me like a stranger

Instead of your blood

Like I am a burden in your life

Still

You are everything to me

A place in my heart forever

**

You are taking steps away

Instead of back to me

Like your independence is complete

Still

You are everything to me

A place here to come home to always


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – instead

Mumbles … limit

There is a limit to everything… and I think I am reaching mine. I originally volunteered for what I thought was a 2 week “job” of staying the nights with my Dad while he recovered from his pneumonia. That was the end of August… now we are more than a week into October.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my Dad and am actually grateful for the time I get with him. But physically and emotionally it is taking a toll on me. The biggest thing is realizing that he may need 24/7 care now, period. I was hoping to get it down to maybe 3 or 4 nights a week he had care givers come into the house and help him, but with the way his memory problems and (lack of) strength still seems to linger I fear he may need more.

My fibromyalgia is practically screaming between the up and down both on the stairs at my Dad’s house and just getting him things. (and the cold damp weather that just wont end… we may finally see sun again on Thusday) My depression is peaking again as well. Possibly brought on by more memories of my Mom (at least a half a dozen times Dad has called me by my Mom’s name) and seeing clearly Dad’s health conditions deteriorate.

It has also taken a toll on my internet time. I am a week behind on writing posts and reading yours too. I can’t remember the last time I did more than glance at my e-mail, my inbox is getting quite full. And time to relax and play a game… HA! Although I do get to take a break every now and then for some Words With Friends. But a lot of the time my means of communication is through Facebook and blogging… so I am feeling more alone.

The time is up now… my Dad has to see a doctor today. I will save this and get it to my post after the appointment as long as I have time this afternoon. I am limited on minutes now and must make the cross town trip in about 15 minutes. I hope the street lights are in my favor! Have a good week everyone! (((HUGS)))

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – limit