A Woman’s Place Is In The Home

man giving jacket to woman
Photo by Jeswin Thomas on Pexels.com

He was handsome and she was drawn in.  She caught his eyes across the bar, and they smiled at each other.  A connection was sparked and thus began their relationship.  All was fine until they began to talk one day about children, work and the home.  She had worked for 5 years already for a up and coming computer program company.  He said, “Well that will all stop when you have a child.”

She looked puzzled and said, “Why would it stop?”

“Well a women’s place is in the home, or should I say a mother’s place is at home with the children.  I don’t want any latch key kid in this day and age.”

“Wait, what?  Are you serious?”

“There are too many crazies out there anxious to find the kids who are not properly cared for and therefor easier to convert to their twisted ways.”

“And what would be wrong with YOU staying home to raise the children?”

“It is the man’s job to earn the money.”

She sat in silence for quite a while.  Finally finding her voice she said, “well maybe I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did.  My career is very important to me.  I might cut my hours down, but I will continue to work when the day comes to have children.  There are ways to balance schedules out, so the children are with both parents for a majority of time.  There is day care for those times when the parents can’t be with them.”

“Are you kidding?  Have you seen what happens to kids in day care?  Not my child!”

“I am sorry, but this is a problem.  You obviously have old antiquated ways and I am in the current day and age on this.  Maybe we should call it quits now before this gets worse?” And with that she left him alone in the same bar where they first met.

 

Written for Fandango’s February Expressions (FFE) #6

Light Up The Sky (FOWC)

Red sparks fill the skies
As the first of the fireworks explode
Blue stars
Gold smiles
And even a red heart
Ignite the sky with light
White percussive blasts
And multiple explosions create
The sounds of the Fourth of July
Kids laugh and gasp in awe
As they exclaim, “That one was my favorite!”
More than a few times
The adults delight in dangers
Of setting off their own colorful shows
And I just set back and take it all in
One blast after another
Until the last of the smoke clears the sky

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – fireworks

Mumbles… Tantrum

Working 20 years as a cashier I saw my share of tantrums at the checkout. Often the parents worn down and tired would give in to the child and buy them candy or the toy they carried through the store. The customers I had to cringe about were the ones who would let their kids play, chew on and drool all over a toy then ask ME to take it from the child who would no doubt start to have at least a good loud scream. If you don’t have the courage to disappoint your own kids once in a while the future for them is doomed to be a major disappointment.

There is also the disgusting fact that the child had placed their germs all over the toy ready to spread them to whoever next needs a shopping pacifier. It made me wipe down a toy or two for my daughter before I would ever let her touch it.

I know when I was growing up I can’t ever recall being allowed to play with something we were not going to buy. When did the stores become playgrounds? I better stop typing now or I might just get mad enough to throw a tantrum about half-hearted parenting.

Happy and Grateful – Days 359 & 360

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

So much holiday activity left me really fatigued… forgive me for being a little late again.

Day 359

Christmas was busy.  We packed up the spicy chili that had simmered all night long and went to my boyfriend’s sister’s house to be there for a noon lunch.  I was grateful the roads did not have much snow and ice on them so it was an easy drive there and back.  After a few hours there we returned home to spend the remainder of the afternoon and evening with my daughter.  It was a wonderful holiday.

I handled the day without taking an anti-anxiety pill and was proud of that achievement.  It is always a challenge to balance the good of the day with how all the people will affect me.  I tend to shy away from a lot of conversation and focus in on the joy seen through the eyes of the children.  My boyfriend has two great-nieces who are almost 2 and a 4-year-old great-nephew, watching them was a joy.

One of my challenges of the season is finding that “ideal” gift and we did pretty well this year.  But of course the best thing was spending time with my daughter.  She was not able to stay late as she had to open at work the next morning and I needed to runs some dinner to my Dad’s house anyway.  It was a busy but happy day.

Day 360

This was the day of recovery… but I had to take my Dad to the clinic for a blood draw and an appointment with the dietitian so no rest for me.  Dad had me a little concerned as he forgot the doctor he was seeing and once in the office he confused his cell phone for his blood sugar meter.  Otherwise he seemed fine other than back and leg pain that was worse yesterday.  I was happy the doctor was pleased with how his blood sugar was running.

I did get a chance to put my feet up and relax last night though.  And my boyfriend brought home the belated Christmas present that was not in stock before Christmas.  It is a heated massage mat to use in my recliner for my back.  I am planning on breaking it out when I am done writing to see how it works.  Even if it is just for the heat alone it will soothe my back… I am grateful for that.

I have babbled on far enough now.  I hope to get back on track tonight.  There are just a handful of days left… then a whole new year to explore what ever comes next.  Try to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful day/night!

12 Days of Christmas – Children

child-at-christmas
picture from the net

This one is from memories and as an observer both.  As a kid I remember my parents capturing my attention with a beautiful Christmas tree, all the pretty cards we would get and display and of course there was the magic of Santa.  Mom always said if you don’t believe you don’t get any presents… I believed with my whole heart!

As I grew up and saw for the first time my cousins wide-eyed expressions at the tree, Gma’s village and the gifts… it really made me appreciate the total wonder kids can have this time of year.  Those decorations are some of the shiniest, prettiest things they have seen in their short lives.

There is nothing quite like watching a kid open gifts.  They for one are very honest and you know if they like it or not instantly.  But the moment they open something they like it is like a new world for them.  A child really into the whole Christmas experience makes the whole day worth while.

Next week I will see a great-nephew open gifts.  He is now three and should be at a great age to watch.  The two nieces are too young for much wonder yet, but next year should be great with all three of them aware of the awe of Christmas.  Do you have young children in your family you are excited to see experience Christmas?

Day 48 – 100 Days of Happiness

This is one of my easiest days to do.  This was trick-or-treat night for our town tonight and just like my mom used to do, I love seeing all the little ones dressed up in celebration of the holiday.  My boyfriend and I live in an apartment building that does not get many kids, so we helped my dad out tonight.  He has trouble getting up and down to keep answering the door, so we went to answer his door and hand our treats.

A pretty good year for him… he ended up with 32 costumed kids, a handful of costumed parents and 3 sorority sisters looking for food bank donations. By far super heroes ruled the night.  We saw multiple Batman, Ironman and Superman show up.  Star Wars as always was represented.  But I feel the winner of the night was an adorable little boy who had a magician’s costume on.  He had matching sequined vest, hat band and wand; top hat and suit…he couldn’t have been more than 4 or 5 years old.

As usual though you can never guess how much candy to buy.  I remember years with nice weather nearing the 100s of children and cold years with next to no one.  This year was a beautiful upper 60s with mostly cloudy skies.  But we still over estimated and  now there is left over candy as we will never be caught running out.  Some how I will suffer through a little chocolate to help dad get rid of the rest.  LOL!

Day 46 – 100 Days of Happiness

I survived… didn’t think I would a couple of times, but I held it together enough I had no major problems today at the wedding.  Against my cravings I stayed away from coffee this morning to try to keep my nerves a little more calm.  I took the back roads out-of-town… 55 mph instead of 70 mph and far less traffic.  The best thing though is the chance to relax some of the stress away… I took a lorazapam to calm my anxiety.  It worked in about 20 to 30 minutes and had me feeling mellow but not too tired.  I still was nervous, but so much better than I was before my meds.

Then the best part of the day… the kids.  There were three youngsters under 4 at the wedding.  I am a sucker for a babies smile – it can melt away all stress I happen to have.  Especially the flower girl who was 1 or 2 at most.  She looked like a little princess.  She had a little stuffed doll she was carrying and she would stop and hug it.  A boy maybe 5 or 6 who tried a wedding mint for the first time and did not like it – the face he made was priceless.  Seeing innocent moments like that made the day beyond easy to happy at times.

Never A Mistake

Often I ask myself about some of the things in my past and wonder if I could change things would I?  Was it a mistake to date someone who ultimately was not Mr Right?  Was it a mistake to get married since it ended in divorce? Was it a mistake I only had one child?  Was it a mistake in how I lived so that I had breast cancer?  … all of the questions are valid, but most often I find the answers surprisingly to be no.

All those experiences led me to where I am and who I am now.  The wrong men led me to the right one.  The marriage was wonderful until the alcohol took over…and even though we divorced a part of me loved him to his dying day.  And as wonderful as my daughter is, I can’t imagine not having that special bond with only her if I would have had more than one child.

Now the cancer has its own set of circumstances.  There are no clear ideas on why or who gets it, so maybe it was my lifestyle that did it, but in some ways it made me much stronger.  I had a bunch of choices through my treatments too, but if I had gone a different route I may not have been so lucky to have made it past year 13 of survival.

I guess what I am trying to say is that not all “bad” things in your life are mistakes.  Each obstacle makes you stronger and wiser.  That doesn’t mean there are not regrets from time to time, but at least the way I see it there are no true mistakes.