The letter D…
She was like a dream come true. I couldn’t have asked for better. My daughter was a happy baby, a curious child, an independent teen, and is a successful young woman. She is smart, kind and my friend. I couldn’t be prouder of her accomplishments – managing a coffee shop, planning a wedding and buying a house. She has found someone to share her life with her Dad would have approved of. And they do talk about having some grandchildren for me to spoil someday. She has a natural beauty I envy. She has the intelligence to work through problems with a level head. I may see her with a mother’s eyes, but she makes friends easily and is well liked by her staff. I would be lost without her in my life. Of course my grateful D is for daughter.
“But Mom, everyone else has got pierced ears. Why can’t I?”
“Sara, not EVERYONE has them and I told you it is not just up to me it is up to your Dad too.”
“But he isn’t cool like you are Mom. You understand what it means to me to fit in.”
“Honey, your Dad as a dermatologist has seen too many infections from bad piercings from that store.”
“So does that mean I can get it done somewhere else?”
“Sara you are barking up the wrong tree if you want a yes. You need to talk to your Dad.”
Written for Fandango’s February Expressions (FFE) #10
For some reason in my years of blogging I seemed to skip over the 17th for some reason. I only found two I had posted. This week I share the one from last year. A poem about the loss of my ex-husband to alcoholism. It was originally posted here.
Sharing this for FFF.
I wonder if
You still exist
Is your spirit
Still in pain
Do you feel
The least remorse
For leaving her
Without a father
Can you see
The woman she is
In spite of
What you did
Or is there
Nothing but darkness
In your afterlife
You breathe deep and slow,
Your chest rises and falls,
I see your eyes moving under their lids;
Hoping you are having a good dream.
As I watch you sleep, I am in awe
That this beautiful creation came from me.
Knowing you have changed so much,
Growing up faster than I can follow,
I treasure all these moments
As much at the ones when you’re awake.
And in every second of everyday,
My love for you grows faster than you do.
You are my life, my hope, my love –
You are my daughter.
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – watch
I was one of those lucky parents… my daughter never really had a fit or threw a temper tantrum. I am not sure how it came to pass, but my daughter was really a very good child. I can only recall one outburst she had on the way into a restaurant and I just held her until it passed and then she was fine and we went in to eat.
I recall one time as a toddler, her being insistent on doing something she wasn’t supposed to (I can’t even recall what it was) and after multiple warnings I gave her a small slap on the back of her hand. Oh, the look on her face was like I had just killed her best friend! She was so shocked and stunned. Then after she thought about it for a minute, she began to cry. Of course I had instantly felt bad but had to keep a straight face and explain through the tears that it was not allowed. She never did it again.
We had the standard talk with her about not putting anything into the VCR (do you remember those? ) and one day she walked right up to her Dad and confessed to putting something into the VCR. Of course we couldn’t punish her for telling the truth.
Even in her teenage years she was a good child. Did good in school and had her little circle of friends that would come by. Aside from the one who tried to eat us out of house and home, they were all pretty good too.
She has made my life so special and I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter. No notes sent home from school, no visits from the police, no late night calls of distress of any kind and never a tantrum. Yep, I am truly a lucky one.
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – tantrum
She runs full force into a puddle
Splashing and laughing out loud
She rushes out the door
To take her first trip to school on the bus
She bursts thru the door
Telling me she made the cheer squad
She lets out a little scream
Letting me know she was just asked to prom
…so much energy
So much joy
I try to soak in every moment
Because too soon she will move
So excited to start her own life
Being less a part of mine
That is the way it must be
And I will be proud of the woman she’ll become
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – energy
The day had come. She was so thrilled with the way it was coming together. The guests were slowly filing into the backyard setting. The florists had come and gone leaving a beautiful array of flowers that left a fragrance in the air. The caterer was cooking up more aromas for the reception to follow.
She moved her gaze from the window to her beautiful daughter. She sat in front of a mirror putting finishing touches on her hairdo. It was hard to believe her daughter was a bride, but she made a most beautiful bride in her mother’s eyes.
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – setting
My view of Mother’s Day has been slightly skewed. It was always a joyous time to celebrate with my Mom when I was growing up. Then when I became a mother myself it brought on a deeper meaning. For the last eight years though since my Mom passed away it is a difficult balancing game between the joy of being a mom and the despair I feel no longer having my Mom in this world.
My daughter is my life and I really try to focus on that, but I miss the friend I had in my Mom. She went to concerts with me, would play games together and shared our love of good music. She and I would have late night talks into the wee hours of the morning. She was always very open with me and I was with her.
Our relationship was not perfect. I will never forget learning on the eve of my wedding she didn’t want me to get married and she told me he was wrong for me. …twenty years later that came to be true, did she know something in advance? Nah, but I wouldn’t change a thing because I got my daughter down that path.
I hope everyone has had a good day. Those who are mothers, want to be mothers, lost babies that made them alone mothers, dads who have to be mothers too, with mothers living or gone… a Happy Mother’s Day to all. I will now have a silent tribute to my Mom, looking through some old pictures, and trying to remember she will always be here with me in my heart.
I tried to write a poem, I tried to write a story… trouble is bestow is not a common word for me and the attempts just seemed forced this time. So I am stuck, my muses are taking a lunch break and I am left with a blog to write about something.
Bestow is to give. I can think of a million things to give but bestow should be more of a grand gesture. I don’t have much to give that seems worthy of something grand. I sit here and think if I have been given anything grand in the recent past. And my mind is blank.
The one thing that I can think of that is a grand gift would be love. And that takes me back to the thing I love the most – my daughter. So I guess my ex-husband bestowed upon me the greatest gift of all about 24 years ago when I became pregnant. I wish I could say I remember the night and it was magical and I just knew… it didn’t work that way for me.
None the less, she is the greatest gift I have ever received. She even beats that first bike I finally got in grade school (if I remember right it was a pink Schwinn bike with streamers off the handles). It was a real beauty. But my daughter is more beautiful – inside and out.
What is the greatest gift you have ever been given?
This has been a long year… but I made it to the end. When I started out on my challenge to write a post every day for a whole year about what I was happy and grateful for, I never thought I would make it. Some days were hard to find a happiness, some days I didn’t feel there was anything to be grateful for but I dug deep and always found something.
By far my daughter brought me the most happiness and gratitude during the year. But if I had to guess second place I would guess things that come close to healing me (doctor, meds, etc). Some days I resorted to the basic needs – food, roof over my head and warmth or cool surroundings for the season. But I found something every day.
This final night of the year I was happy to have survived another year. Happy to be surrounded by those I care about. And happy to have enough to get by. My boyfriend, my daughter and I all got together to play cards and toast in the new year (raspberry schnapps and cranberry juice – YUM!). I may not have won the games – my daughter won both that we played – but we shared a few laughs and had a good time.
Time to get sappy… my gratitude for the night. I am grateful for all of you readers who have stuck with me. I plan to stick around for a while longer, but will not be doing the Happy and Grateful posts anymore. I hope it is something that is beneficial for me and entertaining for you. I want to thank you all for reading. I am still amazed I have more than the 10 people I thought might follow me. Now at over 350 I am stunned. I am absolutely speechless at the 16,000 views and wondering where the 7,800 visitors came from.
Most of all at the end of this year I am in awe that I am now only 5 posts away from 1000 posts. I know the Happy and Grateful along with the daily prompt poems this year account for the majority of that. But I think I still have a little creativity left in me to share. And for that I hope you will stick around and bear with me on this new journey.
As always I hope you remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude. May 2018 be wonderful for all of you… HAPPY New Year!