Mumbles… Bestow

I tried to write a poem, I tried to write a story… trouble is bestow is not a common word for me and the attempts just seemed forced this time. So I am stuck, my muses are taking a lunch break and I am left with a blog to write about something.

Bestow is to give. I can think of a million things to give but bestow should be more of a grand gesture. I don’t have much to give that seems worthy of something grand. I sit here and think if I have been given anything grand in the recent past. And my mind is blank.

The one thing that I can think of that is a grand gift would be love. And that takes me back to the thing I love the most – my daughter. So I guess my ex-husband bestowed upon me the greatest gift of all about 24 years ago when I became pregnant. I wish I could say I remember the night and it was magical and I just knew… it didn’t work that way for me.

None the less, she is the greatest gift I have ever received. She even beats that first bike I finally got in grade school (if I remember right it was a pink Schwinn bike with streamers off the handles). It was a real beauty. But my daughter is more beautiful – inside and out.

What is the greatest gift you have ever been given?

Happy and Grateful – Day 365

This has been a long year… but I made it to the end.  When I started out on my challenge to write a post every day for a whole year about what I was happy and grateful for, I never thought I would make it.  Some days were hard to find a happiness, some days I didn’t feel there was anything to be grateful for but I dug deep and always found something.

By far my daughter brought me the most happiness and gratitude during the year.  But if I had to guess second place I would guess things that come close to healing me (doctor, meds, etc).  Some days I resorted to the basic needs – food, roof over my head and warmth or cool surroundings for the season.  But I found something every day.

This final night of the year I was happy to have survived another year.  Happy to be surrounded by those I care about.  And happy to have enough to get by. My boyfriend, my daughter and I all got together to play cards and toast in the new year (raspberry schnapps and cranberry juice – YUM!).  I may not have won the games – my daughter won both that we played – but we shared a few laughs and had a good time.

Time to get sappy… my gratitude for the night.  I am grateful for all of you readers who have stuck with me.  I plan to stick around for a while longer, but will not be doing the Happy and Grateful posts anymore.  I hope it is something that is beneficial for me and entertaining for you.  I want to thank you all for reading.  I am still amazed I have more than the 10 people I thought might follow me.  Now at over 350 I am stunned.  I am absolutely speechless at the 16,000 views and wondering where the 7,800 visitors came from.

Most of all at the end of this year I am in awe that I am now only 5 posts away from 1000 posts.  I know the Happy and Grateful along with the daily prompt poems this year account for the majority of that.  But I think I still have a little creativity left in me to share.  And for that I hope you will stick around and bear with me on this new journey.

As always I hope you remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  May 2018 be wonderful for all of you… HAPPY New Year!

Happy and Grateful – Day 363

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Snow is pretty… pretty annoying too.  We got about 3 inches, which really isn’t much but it is one of the first all day snows we have had and it is cold… and only going to get worse.  This is Friday night and there is a wind chill advisory until Tuesday.  Ugh!  But I had to go out today… needed my prescriptions refilled and had a gift to return (wrong size) and then my daughter offered to take us out to lunch.  So I was out in the thick of it.  I was grateful there was not the freezing drizzle they had in some areas at least.

Now if you have read my blog you know I worry… about everything.  That is the nature of anxiety and depression.  But I was happy to hear from my daughter via a text message that she arrived at work ok (about a 20 to 30 minute drive away).  Often she forgets when I ask her to let me know so I was happy she didn’t.

All the tension from my first winter driving of the year has left my back in knots.  So I sit on a heating pad and took my pain meds and hope to sleep soon.  So forgive me if my writing does not make sense, I am not thinking quite clearly.

Only two more posts…. but a year worth of awareness has been great.  I hope you find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Days 359 & 360

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

So much holiday activity left me really fatigued… forgive me for being a little late again.

Day 359

Christmas was busy.  We packed up the spicy chili that had simmered all night long and went to my boyfriend’s sister’s house to be there for a noon lunch.  I was grateful the roads did not have much snow and ice on them so it was an easy drive there and back.  After a few hours there we returned home to spend the remainder of the afternoon and evening with my daughter.  It was a wonderful holiday.

I handled the day without taking an anti-anxiety pill and was proud of that achievement.  It is always a challenge to balance the good of the day with how all the people will affect me.  I tend to shy away from a lot of conversation and focus in on the joy seen through the eyes of the children.  My boyfriend has two great-nieces who are almost 2 and a 4-year-old great-nephew, watching them was a joy.

One of my challenges of the season is finding that “ideal” gift and we did pretty well this year.  But of course the best thing was spending time with my daughter.  She was not able to stay late as she had to open at work the next morning and I needed to runs some dinner to my Dad’s house anyway.  It was a busy but happy day.

Day 360

This was the day of recovery… but I had to take my Dad to the clinic for a blood draw and an appointment with the dietitian so no rest for me.  Dad had me a little concerned as he forgot the doctor he was seeing and once in the office he confused his cell phone for his blood sugar meter.  Otherwise he seemed fine other than back and leg pain that was worse yesterday.  I was happy the doctor was pleased with how his blood sugar was running.

I did get a chance to put my feet up and relax last night though.  And my boyfriend brought home the belated Christmas present that was not in stock before Christmas.  It is a heated massage mat to use in my recliner for my back.  I am planning on breaking it out when I am done writing to see how it works.  Even if it is just for the heat alone it will soothe my back… I am grateful for that.

I have babbled on far enough now.  I hope to get back on track tonight.  There are just a handful of days left… then a whole new year to explore what ever comes next.  Try to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful day/night!

Happy and Grateful – Day 356

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

And then there were 10…. only ten days left in my challenge.  This year has gone by pretty fast and I am sure these last few days will be somewhat of a blur.

Today was a surprising day.  My daughter got off work early this afternoon and treated me to a movie.  We went and saw Hugh Jackman’s latest film “The Greatest Showman.”  It always makes me happy to see a good film and I love musicals.  It was my first time in our upgraded theater with the new assigned seating in the fancy new electric recliners.  It was a nice afternoon.

Then tonight my daughter came over to do laundry and help me finish the rest of the candies.  I did the rest of the potato chips dipped in chocolate… so yummy.  I was grateful for the help and the company.

Now I am headed back to sleep for a while… it was late when my daughter headed home.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 350

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

A little late as seems to be the trend for me this month.  But I am determined to accomplish this one way or another and I am very close to the end, so forgive me for being a little late once more.

Yesterday was a day to recover from a full day at the clinic the day before.  My back was hurting quite a bit and as usual the fatigue was ever-present, but I held on without any naps this time.  I was grateful to have my heating pad to ease the pain a little.

I did have a visit from my daughter.  She came over after work and did some laundry, borrowed my printer and ate dinner with us.  It always makes me happy to see her.  But it seems I always use her visits as my happy for the day.  There are more things I can be happy for… food, clothing, and a roof over my head, someone who loves me to share the night with, a family within reach if I need them, a lovely view of the Christmas tree, a chance to see the cards from those who care decorating the hall, etc.  There is always much to be happy and grateful for.

Now I need to get back to my letters and cards.  My list is getting shorter all the time.  I may even be done early enough to be able to make some candies and cookies next week… must have my pretzels in white chocolate and potato chips in milk chocolate, salty sweet goodness!  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful day/night!

Happy and Grateful – Days 348 & 349

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

I am having trouble keeping up these last few days.  I am still a poem behind but hope to get to it yet tonight if the muses are so inclined.  It has been a long day though…

Day 348

Yesterday was a pretty quiet day.  I was happy to spend just a little bit of time with my daughter.  She stopped by to pick up her laundry and we watched one episode of the soap.  We would have visited longer but I had my weekly therapy session.

My boyfriend was pretty worn out after a busy day at work and went to bed early.  I was grateful to have my Christmas cards to keep me busy and my mind off the empty room.

Day 349

Today was a long day.  It started as just a simple blood draw and a check-up at the doctor for my Dad… 5 hours later I finally got him back home from the clinic.  They did x-rays, blood work and a CT scan.  I was grateful everything checked out ok, but all the waiting for tests added up to a lot of time.

Being at the clinic all day I didn’t get lunch and I had not gotten up early enough for breakfast before hand… I was really happy to eat dinner.  It was only burgers, but boy did it taste good after not eating all day.

So now I need to try my hand at “meager” for a poem and get back to work on a letter or two before I fall asleep.  I hope you remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 341

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Today started a little late.  I overslept and woke up 15 minutes before I was supposed to meet my daughter for coffee.  So I rushed around and got ready as quick as I could.  We then met at the book store and shared some stories and coffee.  It was a good way to start the day.  I was happy she finally had a day off and we could connect.

It was my usual Thursday doctor’s appointment this afternoon.  It was well overdue… first there was no appointment on the Thursday of Thanksgiving and then the following week I was sick so it has been three weeks since I had seen him.  I was more than grateful for the appointment.

I am starting to feel my night meds kick in, so I will stop for the night.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 327

November brings a chill in the air and the start of the holiday gatherings of family and friends.  I can’t believe I am down to the last two month of my challenge to find happiness and feel gratitude every day.  I hope you join with me in the comments or your own blog in this challenge.  No matter how small there is always a little good in even the worst day.

Here in the US it was Thanksgiving today… well for most people it was.  My boyfriend works retail and was at work all day and my daughter spent the day with her boyfriend and his family so we are gathering for a feast on Monday when we are all able to be here. But in the spirit of Thanksgiving I reached out to a few of my friends I am truly grateful for and wished them a happy day and told them how much they mean to me.  I am grateful for my friends.

Now the happy part of the day is a little harder.  To be quite honest I was harboring a little jealousy of my daughter’s boyfriend for getting to be with her today.  First holiday with a real serious relationship and mom here is dealing with it as best as I can.  So I tried to recapture her youth and watched some kids movies today after the Macy’s parade was over.  But then I got a surprise.

I had sent off a letter last week (I think… or the week before) and the friend I sent it to called me today.  She used to live across the street from me growing up as kids and now she is halfway across the country.  It was so good to hear her voice though.  It had been far too long!  That phone call made me happy.

The lights are off, some music playing low.  My boyfriend has been asleep at least 3 hours now and I should try to do the same soon.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Days 324, 325 and 326

November brings a chill in the air and the start of the holiday gatherings of family and friends.  I can’t believe I am down to the last two month of my challenge to find happiness and feel gratitude every day.  I hope you join with me in the comments or your own blog in this challenge.  No matter how small there is always a little good in even the worst day.

Ok… so I am a little behind.  I haven’t felt the best and I know that is no excuse for not taking 15 to 30 minutes to post this daily… I am sorry.  Monday night I fell asleep early and Tuesday I was with my daughter… so here we are on Wednesday and it is time to play catch up.

Day 324

I spent a lot of the day still worried about my friend I posted about last time.  It was a very quiet day… nowhere to go and no big plans of anything to do for the day.  So my gratitude was definitely the free time to do a little of nothing.  I was so wrapped up in nothing… I forgot all about my Monochrome Monday until today.  Let’s just say I took the week off for the coming holiday.  My happiness was watching a movie with my boyfriend.

Day 325

I woke up with a pretty sore back.  Did some of my PT exercises to try to loosen it up a bit.  Then took a nap.  Then took another… yeah two naps before my boyfriend came home at 4!  I then got kind of mad at my daughter.  She had said she would come over to do laundry and I got the impression she was talking about the early afternoon… I waited and waited, finally gave up and went to my Dad’s about 7 pm to get him dinner. Then of course she showed up.  So seeing her when I got back home did make me happy.  My gratitude would have to go to Nintendo for the day.  They came out with a version of Animal Crossing to play on the phone… I spent too much time on my phone yesterday!  LOL

Day 326

I was finally feeling a little bit better today.  I was able to make it into my craft desk and do a little card making.  I sent out two sympathy cards to friends who lost their mother this month.  Even if it is a sympathy card it makes me happy to create a little.  And tonight when I went to run a couple of quick errands I was able to talk my boyfriend into going with me, I was grateful for that.

Now I will try to stay on track the rest of my days doing this.  For the readers in America, have a happy Thanksgiving… I hope you share it with family and not employees in retail!  It is a day for togetherness not shopping.  But because I have a boyfriend in retail and a daughter in food service… our Thanksgiving will be a few days late (on Monday).  Once again I am sorry this was so late.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day