We Would Never Share Chocolate

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It has been ten years

And I miss you as much now

As I did the day you left

Nearly every day that goes by

I still remember you

And wish I could be with you again

Just a moment to say I love you

To hear your laughter

To share some music

You taught me so much

And I feel I never told you thanks

What I wouldn’t give

To play parcheesi one more time

To sit next to you at a concert

To share a bar of chocolate

(That’s not right – we’d each have our own)

Often I wish there were guarantees

That I will see you again

Until my day comes

I can only hope

July 17th wasn’t the end


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – nearly

Directions Please

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It is the one place in town everyone knows.  I guess you could say it was the town landmark.  It was the old Anderson house up on the hill looking over the whole town.  It has been there since the town was formed in 1894.  The original family was Emma and William Anderson and they, like many in those days, lost young children to disease and were never the same.

Their first born was a boy, Charles, who only survived a matter of hours when he was born premature.  Then their second child, a girl named Alexandra, died from pneumonia at an age of four.  And their third and final child was a boy named John, who succumbed to tuberculosis at the age of seven.  Each death tore them apart a little bit more so that by the time John died Emma was suffering greatly from depression and was briefly in a mental asylum to try to bring her back to reality.

William dealt better with the losses than Emma but was completely lost without her while she was institutionalized.  She came home after electro-shock treatments only to find William in worse shape than she was.  So, they hired a nurse to take care of both of them in the home.  The night they both died in their sleep is now looked at with suspicious but then they just felt they died of broken hearts.  The nurse was never seen again in town and was likely the cause of their deaths.

This was why most people avoided the house that sits there still in disrepair.  They left the house to a cousin who had no interest in it and he never visited it until towards the end of his life.  He left the house to his son who still owns the property but lives in a house in town.

The stories over the years about ghosts roaming the house and grounds looking for children kept most of them away.  Anytime a driver got lost and drove through town for directions, they were always told to drive towards the house and take a right just past it.  That is county road 16 and it will take them back to the interstate.

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – landmark https://fivedotoh.com/2020/06/08/fowc-with-fandango-landmark/

Life In The Time Of Corona virus and George Floyd

It has been a thief

Stealing away things

Minute by minute

The hours are gone

In the blink of an eye

First the pain and fever

Then it steals your very breath

It has consumed my bravery

And taken away my freedoms

And does not seem to be slowing

Leaving me tense angry

And a little confused each night

Another sleepless night

Another tear shed

We must slowly return

To as normal as we can

Or the thief will return

And take more days

Steal more lives

Make us weary of others

And put those we love in danger

We must hear the cries

Feel the anguish

And recognize the needs

There is anger there

And rightly so

He was too young

It was just SO WRONG

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – thief https://fivedotoh.com/2020/05/31/fowc-with-fandango-thief/

Just the Facts

vodka bottle

Fact is you once were mine

We shared a life together

We raised a family

We were happy

 

Fact is you met her nightly

She comforted you

She made you forget the pain

She put you into a quiet world

 

Fact is she was poison

She slowly drew you away

She made you lose your job

She broke up our family

 

Fact is she killed you

She rotted your insides

She dwindled you down to nothing

She ruined your liver

 

Fact is alcoholism is a deadly disease

You wouldn’t admit a problem

You wouldn’t seek help

You wouldn’t stop

 

Fact is you died holding onto her

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – fact

(Image from Google search)

Shattered Dreams

green-glass-bottles-on-white-table-4042772
Photo by furkanvari from Pexels

I just can’t believe it

I’m so angry I could spit

You broke your promise again

I feel like I can never win

Shattered dreams in the night

Hoping it will work out right

 

You swore this time you wouldn’t do it

But I sit here watching you get lit

You’re past the all night partying age

Your latest lie gives me pure rage

Shattered dreams in the night

Hoping it will work out right

 

The last straw that broke my back

Was because of compassion you lack

My mom’s death didn’t keep you sober

That’s when I knew it was over

Shattered dreams in the night

Hoping it will work out right

 

You kept drinking all day

No matter what I’d say

I couldn’t watch you slowly die

I was tired of my nightly cry

Shattered dreams in the night

Hoping it will work out right

 

And in a short time

You were no longer mine

You died in your bed

Still with demons in your head

Shattered dreams in the night

Nothing about this was right

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – rage

I Miss You Mom

photo of cemetery
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

She left peacefully

Silently in the night

When I heard the news

I was instantly

Inundated with memories

And questions I could never ask

I felt numb and had

The worst pain I’ve ever had

All at the same time

It has been nearly ten years

And every bit of pain is still there

I wonder will it ever go away

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – inundated

Forever Changed

There can be no friends luncheon

No holiday dinners with all the family

Not an evening soiree

Or even a Tupperware party

Towns are shut down

And people are kept apart

But worse than all that

Is the realization that things

May never again be the same

As the population dwindles

And frustrations grab hold

Will there remain peace

On the too quiet streets

Or will this virus win

One way or another

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – soiree

Final Destination

Forgive me for leaving

It wasn’t your fault

It’s a defect in me

Facing your mortality

 

I now am contrite

I must be to blame

For you were ill

And I was insane

 

I did the same thing

Over and over again

But I was only trying

To forgive you your sin

 

The truth is you left me

Years before this

Addiction is a curse

That leads to the hearse

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – contrite

Mumbles … Ethnicity

Ethnicity … I don’t really want to write about it.  It is a group of people from one particular area – Germans, Russians, Southerners, New Yorkers, and so on.  But I am really not full of any knowledge about any ethnic group.  So instead I will talk about…

My new cat named Clive.  We just got him yesterday at the shelter.  He hid all night last night.  Slowly ventured out today and has even navigated the stairs a couple of times.  The little princess we already had is not sure at all about him.  She has hissed a couple of times but doesn’t seem too bothered by him.  He is black and white and camera shy so far, but I will get him soon.  He will hopefully help me fill my days with a little activity.  Especially when he hides, and I have to search all the tiny spaces in the house to find him.

The other thing is my heart is not really focused on writing.  It is breaking all over again as, technically today (since it is after midnight), is the one-year anniversary of my Dad’s death.  His birthday was the 13th and he died on the 26th.  I miss him SO MUCH!  Then out of the blue a friend sends a picture of a snow sculpture of snow sharks.  My dad wrote many letters to his shift when he would go on vacation and almost always had snow sharks in the letter somewhere. I don’t know if she realized it was one year since he died or not.  But looking online for the picture source I did discover there were two (classics I am sure) movies made about snow sharks.  One called Snow Sharks and the other is technically Avalanche Sharks.  I should find them on Netflix or somewhere and watch them in honor of Dad.  He was into all those cheesy B movies.  I’d give anything to watch them with him.

I have mumbled on enough.  Time to feed both cats and go try and sleep.  Good night!

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – ethnicity

Fandango’s Friday Flashback – January 17th

For some reason in my years of blogging I seemed to skip over the 17th for some reason.  I only found two I had posted.  This week I share the one from last year.  A poem about the loss of my ex-husband to alcoholism.  It was originally posted here.

Sharing this for FFF.

Haunting Questions

I wonder if
You still exist
Is your spirit
Still in pain
Do you feel
The least remorse
For leaving her
Without a father
Can you see
The woman she is
In spite of
What you did
Or is there
Nothing but darkness
In your afterlife