Not a Happy Ending

---

(possible trigger warning)

Photo by Michelle Leman on Pexels.com

She was surrounded with the finest

Modern art on the walls

Contemporary furniture filled her rooms

All the best money could buy

Her clothes were designer labels

Her shoes custom made

But with all the best in her world

There was one thing she didn’t have

Him

And no matter what she did

She could not turn his head

She would sit in her townhouse

Wondering what was wrong with her

Until the day she no longer cared

Felt she was destined to be lonely

And her devastation fueled her demons

Who helped her swallow all the pills

Alone

He almost lost his breath when he heard

He took a step or two back

How could this have happened

This couldn’t be the truth

The shock just wouldn’t leave him

He felt so much sadness

If only he had taken that chance

And reached out to gently touch

Her

---

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month…

You are not alone, call someone, text someone, find anyone… you are worth it!

1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

suicidepreventionlifeline.org

---

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – contemporary

Gradually

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Slowly creeping into my sleep

Insidious thoughts warp my mind

Mostly focused on myself

I feel like a failure again

The demons whisper to me

In a sinister voice

Telling me lies that hurt

Intended to divide my mind

Subtlety they plant ideas

That place the doubt around

And I am left by morning

Feeling treacherous and blind

---

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – insidious

Inward I Fear

Introspective… a look inside myself

It should be good to reflect

On what I am all about

But instead my depression

Leaves me feeling negative

And finding all my faults

The demons all come out

Taunting me to find

One shred of someone decent

Others would like to know

But often I come up empty

And I still sit alone

Believing I’m not worth it

Not worth anything at all

---

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – introspective

Stronger

As the sunlight fades

The shadows grow deeper

And my demons

Try to take over

Telling me I’m no good

No one cares

And I just bring pain

To those I love

I tell myself to beware

Those demons speak lies

Twist up my thoughts

And leave me broken

Tonight as the shadows grow

I must try to stay strong

Stronger than the darkness

That haunts my nights

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – beware

Together

I can surmount the pain
I can defeat the feelings of despair
I can triumph over my demons

only if you are in my corner
only if you stand by my side
only if you give me your strength

together we will survive
together we will thrive
together we will live

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – surmount

The Devil’s Deal (FOWC)

Sign on the dotted line
Give me your soul
Turn your allegiance to me
And I will make your dreams reality
Imagine all you ever desire to be yours
All it costs it your eternal life

Sign the contract and you’ll be mine
But with so many riches beyond your fantasies
You’ll have wealth, fame and love from all
You’ll never be alone again
Or ache for love on lonely nights
All it costs is your eternal life

Sign your name in blood
And the deal is done
I promise you happiness
Trust me it’s true
You will never be denied again
All it cost if your eternal life

… I slowly sign
Beaten by my demons
Ready to surrender
Eager for a taste of happiness
Unwilling to live life in this pain
All it will cost me is my eternal life

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – contract

Medicinal Ink (FOWC)

The sun sets and darkness spreads
Creeping into the corners of my mind
Loneliness begins to seep into my thoughts
As the pain of the day settles in my bones
My demons begin to awaken
It’s an all too often occurrence
As the waking nightmare is real
Nowhere to escape the agony
That fills my being
Both body and soul
I am alone and hurting
The only thing that gives me some release
Is putting pen to paper
Slowly scratching out the aching
With words of healing and happiness
Beginning the therapeutic recovery
If only for a moment or two of peace
It is restorative enough
That I can escape into brief sleep
Long enough to greet the sunrise of a new day

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – nightmare

The Lies Return (FOWC)

In the dead of night
The darkness falls
Sending the masses home
Leaving a stark barren street
Echos of a distant train
Split the silence
A cat is on a silent prowl
Looking for food
And as you sleep
Dreams floating through
The madness comes to call
Sending you into nightmares
Where fate takes control
And you must meet
Your demons face to face
For the lies you told
Will always come after you
Sooner or later

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – stark

Live (FOWC)

Let me live
In a primitive hut
On a deserted island
Away from the past

Let me live
A day in peace
Folded into seclusion
Away from my demons

Let me live
In the silence of solitude
On a hope and a dream
Away from your grasp

Through my fears and pains
Losses and gains
Just let me live

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge – primitive

Perhaps They Will Drown In Words? (WARNING possible triggers)

“I can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim.”… words posted on Facebook today.  Knowing the person who posted it I would be willing to bet they are song lyrics, but for me it is reality.  And I am so tired of pushing them under the water only to have them pop to the surface again and again and again…  Perhaps today I can write a few of them away.  Expose their evil to the world leaving them a little weaker.  Giving me more strength to hide behind the mask one more day.  Maybe leaving a small legacy behind if the demons should finally win someday…

 

The demons scar my mind

with thoughts of worthlessness

with feelings of abandonment

with fears of isolation.

 

The demons control my days

filled with tears

filled with pain

filled with exhaustion.

 

The demons ruin my future

taking away friends

taking away faith

taking away hope.

 

The demons must be stopped

before I erode

before I vanish

before I die.

 

(Mental illness is a serious disease.  I am seeking medical help and trying new things all the time to find a brighter future for me and my family.  I strongly suggest anyone who has depression to get help.  NO ONE is ever alone.. call someone, talk to others, get help.  There is always someone available 24/7 at the national suicide hotline and limited hours with their online chat as well.  1-800-273-8255 and www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org Don’t let the demons win.)