Endangered Species

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I feel so tired

Fatigue is dragging me down

I feel unwell

Just no energy inside

I feel uncertain

Emotions cloud my mind

I feel broken

My body is going on strike

~~~

If only there was a way

To squash these feelings

To erase the thoughts

To feel normal again

But alas…

I sit in my corner and wait

For the rare and illusive

Good day

*****

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – squash

I Am Strong – FFF #185

Why do you do this

Why do you tell me

Things that aren’t true

(You’re fat)

(You’re ugly)

(You’re weak)

(You’ll never be happy)

(You’ll never succeed)

(You’re a broken failure)

Why do you echo in my head

Nonstop every day

Spewing lies to bring me down

(You’ll never stop me)

(I am in control not you)

(You’re life is rubbish)

I will make you stop

I have power you see

I AM taking control

You will no longer bring me down

I am no longer alone

I have a team to help me

(But you trust no one)

STOP!

I trust me to know the truth

That feelings are not facts

And I have strength and hope

To live my life as I see fit

Without listening to your lies anymore

*****

Written for Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge (FFFC) – #185

You Saved The Day

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Today again I needed help

But was afraid to turn to you

Same old story of pain and sadness

Chilled me to the bone

Why should I burden you

With what I can’t control

I fought the day all by myself

As I so often do

Closing off all contact

And let my problems stew

Then when I felt I wasn’t a threat

I finally reached out to you

Your words fit like a warm embrace

They left me with new hope

I never should have doubted you

You really lift me up

Now once again I feel my dreams

Might one day have a chance

*****

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – embrace

Not the Day Before Please

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It happened again today

The pain

The fatigue

The guilt

It is hard to make peace with myself

When I seem to always fail

Falling victim to this evil inside me

It eats away at

My energy

My strength

My happiness

Tomorrow I must be “normal”

And the way I feel now

That seems impossible

I fear I

Will frustrate

Will disappoint

Will lose

And those I care about

Will again think less of me

All because I am too tired to do anything today

*****

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – fail

WDYS – Sea of Darkness

It is happening again

I feel the darkness sink in

Everything is murky

Out of focus

And so far out of reach

Then the air starts to leave me

I can’t take a breath

The water will drown me

It feels like impending death

One last time I burst upwards

Towards the light of hope

Reaching for your hand

Hoping you can find me

In this sea of fears

Where I feel myself

Drowning too often

Hoping your hand will guide me

Towards the comfort of shore

And your waiting friendship

Where I don’t feel so alone anymore

****

Written for Sadje’s prompt What Do You See (WDYS) #147

A to Z Challenge – T is for Thurber

“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.”

James Thurber

I saw a post once that said dwelling in the past was depression and always looking ahead was anxiety but enjoying the moment brought peace. Having both I can see the correlation. Take the time to be in the now and find all the good it has to give.

Past letters …

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S

Lingering Pain

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He stands at a distance

Lots of space between you

But he might as well have been

Close enough to touch you

Because you felt the sting

Of a verbal belt to the skin

His words like hot fire

Burning deep within

He probably doesn’t even know

How sharp the words were

Retreating into the night

You just mumble yes sir

So you stay in the shadows

and treat your wounded pride

with a bit of self healing

and your time you do bide

when you begin to feel safe

and can walk tall again

you will be out of the glare

of his wicked loathsome grin


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – belt

Nightfall’s Lament

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As the day wears out

And night does shroud the sky

She sits in her father’s chair

And softly starts to cry

Remembering the life he led

The excitement and the dangers

His service to his country and his city

His kindness to many strangers

He was really well respected

And was liked in many towns

But the darkness makes her maudlin

And the emptiness brings her down

Left behind with only memories

Echoes of laughter from the past

She hopes for some relief

But it never seems to last

Just a longing of a special time

Before both her parents were gone

Now she suffers alone each night

And the pain just lingers on


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – maudlin

Alone

She heard the word

Alone

And she was instantly on guard

Why should she care

If she had someone to call her own

Or if she lived alone

Was it really so bad

To spend time with herself

But she had lived

A lot of years with someone

Her parents, husband and daughter

And the quiet was suffocating her now

Left in that silent void

She had never felt so alone and scared

But she was trying

There were less tears now

And more acceptance

If she could just get past

The feeling she would forever be alone

Maybe she could find a friend in herself


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – instant

Failing Me

I feel I am no longer whole

Just a shadow of myself

Broken and worthless

Pieces that are jammed together

But don’t really fit

Like a jigsaw puzzle gone wrong

My body is defying me

And it seems out of control

Every day something new

And it is maddening

Frightening

And sad

A new doctor ahead

A little bit of hope

Maybe a new treatment

Maybe a little bit of me returns


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – whole