growing anxiety

i have to be strong
hide my feelings
i have to appear normal
act like i’m fine

i am determined to blend in
no tears that stand out
no flashy clothes
no attention brought to me

i have to push away
my depression and anxiety
i have to say goodbye
with the whole town watching

 

Written for Fandango’s One-World Challenge (FOWC) – determined

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Empty

I have lost my ambition
My motivation is gone
I’ve got nothing left
So thoroughly exhausted
I need to find a reason
To continue on this path
It seems so endless
With no hope in sight
Will you help me
Stand by me
Give me your hand
Guide me along
Because I feel so
Alone

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – ambition

Longing For Oz

The pending storm
Loomed on the horizon
Distant thunder rumbles low
The smell of rain is in the air
The heat has everything at a standstill
You sit back in your chair
Sweat beads on your face
Staring at the horizon
This could be a big one
Winds begin to blow
The skies take on a strange hue
And the rains begin to fall
You stay in your chair
As if to dare the storm
“Come get me”
Hail pelts down onto the ground
And the storm revs up
Trees begin to bend
Signaling a warning
Over a hill in the distance you see it
The beginning of a funnel cloud
Dancing beneath the clouds
You close your eyes
Hold up your hands
And brace for the winds
Whispering “take me away”

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – pending

A Square Peg In A Round Hole

From early in my youth
I felt I didn’t belong
The shy one afraid to speak up
Terrified I would get things wrong
And everyone would see and judge
All eyes on me every day at school

Now it’s my body that makes me an outcast
Not fit to work anymore
Diseased and unwanted
Unable to be present in life some days
It makes me wonder
If it is even worth it to try

I sit alone in the dark and remember
Past pain I received when I tried
And I ponder my decision
To get up yet again and attempt life
When I am just so tired and broken

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – belong

Would You Stay

If I was lost in the dark
would you guide me through until morning?

If I was drowning at sea
would you pull me to safety?

If I was falling to the ground
would you be there to help me up?

If I was fighting depression
would you turn and walk away?

…unfortunately this is a common reaction to depression. Some of my so called friends did so and others who suffer have told me of similar occurrences. Don’t turn your back on someone with depression. They might not be the life of the party but you being with them, even just sitting there, can breath life back into their day.

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – guide

That Reminds Me

I trace the raindrop falling
Down the cold wet window pane
It reminds me of my tears
I shed just yesterday
I watch the grey clouds moving
Across the autumn sky
They remind me of the sadness
I carry day to day
The minutes tick away the night
With a rhythmic melody
They remind me nothing lasts forever
I’m not the girl I used to be

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – trace

 

Round One

In this corner
the defendant
weighing down my life
is depression
In the other corner
the opponent
bouncing around
is anxiety
Hitting below the belt is fine,
use every trick in the book
Now come out fighting
trying to take control
of this shell of a body

This daily struggle
goes on in my head
and I just wait to see
who will have superiority
and how bad my day will be
or if both will cause a TKO
and in bed I am meant to stay

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – opponent