Would You Stay

If I was lost in the dark
would you guide me through until morning?

If I was drowning at sea
would you pull me to safety?

If I was falling to the ground
would you be there to help me up?

If I was fighting depression
would you turn and walk away?

…unfortunately this is a common reaction to depression. Some of my so called friends did so and others who suffer have told me of similar occurrences. Don’t turn your back on someone with depression. They might not be the life of the party but you being with them, even just sitting there, can breath life back into their day.

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – guide

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That Reminds Me

I trace the raindrop falling
Down the cold wet window pane
It reminds me of my tears
I shed just yesterday
I watch the grey clouds moving
Across the autumn sky
They remind me of the sadness
I carry day to day
The minutes tick away the night
With a rhythmic melody
They remind me nothing lasts forever
I’m not the girl I used to be

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – trace

 

Round One

In this corner
the defendant
weighing down my life
is depression
In the other corner
the opponent
bouncing around
is anxiety
Hitting below the belt is fine,
use every trick in the book
Now come out fighting
trying to take control
of this shell of a body

This daily struggle
goes on in my head
and I just wait to see
who will have superiority
and how bad my day will be
or if both will cause a TKO
and in bed I am meant to stay

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – opponent

Mumbles … limit

There is a limit to everything… and I think I am reaching mine. I originally volunteered for what I thought was a 2 week “job” of staying the nights with my Dad while he recovered from his pneumonia. That was the end of August… now we are more than a week into October.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my Dad and am actually grateful for the time I get with him. But physically and emotionally it is taking a toll on me. The biggest thing is realizing that he may need 24/7 care now, period. I was hoping to get it down to maybe 3 or 4 nights a week he had care givers come into the house and help him, but with the way his memory problems and (lack of) strength still seems to linger I fear he may need more.

My fibromyalgia is practically screaming between the up and down both on the stairs at my Dad’s house and just getting him things. (and the cold damp weather that just wont end… we may finally see sun again on Thusday) My depression is peaking again as well. Possibly brought on by more memories of my Mom (at least a half a dozen times Dad has called me by my Mom’s name) and seeing clearly Dad’s health conditions deteriorate.

It has also taken a toll on my internet time. I am a week behind on writing posts and reading yours too. I can’t remember the last time I did more than glance at my e-mail, my inbox is getting quite full. And time to relax and play a game… HA! Although I do get to take a break every now and then for some Words With Friends. But a lot of the time my means of communication is through Facebook and blogging… so I am feeling more alone.

The time is up now… my Dad has to see a doctor today. I will save this and get it to my post after the appointment as long as I have time this afternoon. I am limited on minutes now and must make the cross town trip in about 15 minutes. I hope the street lights are in my favor! Have a good week everyone! (((HUGS)))

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – limit

My Wish

If I had one wish
I would want this…
To be comfortable
In my own skin
Take the pain away
Take away the fears
Leave anxiety behind
And shake the depression
No more casting doubt
And shadows upon myself
Living with hope
And not inward hate
A chance to stop
Always blaming me
For maybe just this once
I could be happy
Being me

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – comfortable

Will You? (FOWC)

Will you continue to be my friend…
When I forget to call
When I miss your birthday
When I can’t come to dinner
Will you continue to be my friend…
When I have a panic attack at your house
When I cry over the phone
When I reach out in desperation
Will you continue to be my friend…
When I can’t leave my house anymore
When I anxiety makes me physically ill
When I stay in bed for weeks from depression
Will you continue to be my friend?

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – continue

Medicinal Ink (FOWC)

The sun sets and darkness spreads
Creeping into the corners of my mind
Loneliness begins to seep into my thoughts
As the pain of the day settles in my bones
My demons begin to awaken
It’s an all too often occurrence
As the waking nightmare is real
Nowhere to escape the agony
That fills my being
Both body and soul
I am alone and hurting
The only thing that gives me some release
Is putting pen to paper
Slowly scratching out the aching
With words of healing and happiness
Beginning the therapeutic recovery
If only for a moment or two of peace
It is restorative enough
That I can escape into brief sleep
Long enough to greet the sunrise of a new day

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – nightmare