Just the Facts

vodka bottle

Fact is you once were mine

We shared a life together

We raised a family

We were happy

 

Fact is you met her nightly

She comforted you

She made you forget the pain

She put you into a quiet world

 

Fact is she was poison

She slowly drew you away

She made you lose your job

She broke up our family

 

Fact is she killed you

She rotted your insides

She dwindled you down to nothing

She ruined your liver

 

Fact is alcoholism is a deadly disease

You wouldn’t admit a problem

You wouldn’t seek help

You wouldn’t stop

 

Fact is you died holding onto her

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – fact

(Image from Google search)

Not Me

There was a time

I felt that I carried the whole world

On top of my shoulders

Weighted down with the burden

Trying to hold together a family

Keep a steady job

And monitor an alcoholic

But I have learned

The disease had control

Not me

Not him

 

There were so many years

I felt a failure

Unable to laugh loud enough

Not worth anything

Always doing things wrong

While trying to wear a mask

To hide my pain and depression

But I have learned

The disease has control

Not me

Not my doctors

 

So I accept my limitations

And know it’s not my fault

I am worthy of happiness

I deserve to be loved

And I will do all I can

To trust in the future

For what it will be

I have learned

Life is worth living

For myself

For my family

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – shoulder

No Ransom

I am tired of things the way they are

Still terrified to change anything

My life has been kidnapped

By this damned disease

Any time I start to feel better

It backfires on me

But I am getting stronger inside

And soon I may have what it takes

To turn things around

To put ME first for once

No matter how many down days I have

I know the good will return

It is just so easy to be jaded

By the days that are hard

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – jaded

Not Right

My body is broken
It doesn’t work right
Is it because of disease
Or are the genetics not right

My mind is out of order
It doesn’t work right
Is it chemicals flowing
Or is the brain just not right

My heart is wrecked
It doesn’t work right
Is it just bad heartache
Or is the muscle not right

My joints are not moving
They don’t work right
Is it the stress I’ve placed on them
Or is the bone not right

My life is in the balance
It is not working right
Is it a bug in the software
Or is the hardware not right

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – hardware

Memories Stun Daughter

Melancholy memories
Of Millie, Mom and me
Marvel at the miracle
Made mingling at the mall
Stories stuffed with sadness
So sorry someone suffered
She should have survived longer
She should have seen success
But denied disease deteriorates
Daughter’s delicate Mom
Done dancing and doubled up laughing
Death dons dresses
Does not dally
… melancholy memories
Sadness strikes dawning day

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – melancholy

Dreams Blur Into Nightmares

My dreams begin to blur

With every drink you take

I have been here before

And it was ugly then

I don’t want to relieve that nightmare

I don’t want to see someone else

Waste away to nothing

Ravaged from the disease

I don’t want to live my nights in fear

Or what might be with every new bottle

I know you are not him

I know this could be different

But to me it is terrifyingly familiar