Point Of View

I used to be so focused

On anything I’d do

But now my mind wanders

Often thinking about you

My thoughts are distractions

That pull my point of view

Away from what I’m doing

To thinking of what’s new

You came into my life

Like a runaway train

Now my thoughts all scatter

Running round in my brain

Whatever you’ve done to me

One thing is quite clear

I’ve no desire for it to end

I want to keep you near

Happy and Grateful – Day 108

We have reached the month of April and I am still on course to post daily with my happiness and gratitude I have found.  Please join in if you feel like doing this too by sharing in the comments or on your own blog.  There is so much to be happy and grateful for.

Not one of my better days.  Feeling the pull of the black hole to drag me in, but I am resisting as much as I can.  I retreated to the computer to concentrate on some puzzles for a while – Sudoku, and crossword.  Keeping my mind on something other than the dark thoughts helps usually.

I am still dealing with what is like the loss of a friend and anything I can think of doing to stop it just sounds clingy and needy… but maybe I am a little needy.  Things are not perfect and I’m kind of caught in a corner and feel pretty alone.  But I am not going to beg to be friends.  I went through that with another friend and got my heart ripped apart.

Anyway… this is supposed to be happiness and gratitude!  I am happy I do have some things I can do to distract me for short periods of time.  I am grateful for a short Messenger talk with my daughter this afternoon.  Now to take my anxiety meds so I can hopefully sleep without too many nightmares.  (Sorry this is a pretty negative post… just not feeling it today much.)

Happy and Grateful – Day 56

This is February and I am well on my way to attaining a goal I set for myself.  I am trying to post every day with happiness and gratitude that I have encountered that day.  There is always something no matter how small it may seem that we can be grateful for and even just a shared smile can make you happy if only for a moment.  Please try to find those moments for yourself too…  if you’re up to it I would love if you would share them too in the comments or your own blog.  Being aware can really turn a day around!

If I was on any kind of diet (I’m not but I should be) boy did I blow it today!  I have felt lousy all day from my fibro and in my head I still hear my Mom saying “chocolate cures all” and so I eat junk when I am feeling bad.  At least I had a good dinner with a salad and some yummy jambalaya type dish.  Now as I sit alone again I am wanting to snack.  I know I am not hungry though.  Just one of my struggles.

So today has not been one of my greatest days but I did find instead of coming unglued I focused on some jigsaw puzzle work.  I can’t really work on a puzzle with a cat around but I can do an online game of one.  That kept me distracted from the pain for a while this afternoon.

This evening I was looking forward to watching something with my boyfriend, but he was tired and took a nap.  So it was me and the cat again back at the puzzles and reading some WP posts.  I did force myself out of the house to get my Dad some dinner and although it hurt, I got it accomplished… that is something for the day I guess.

If I have to pick something to be grateful for today I would say it was my laptop.  It gave me the distraction I needed a couple of times today.  I was happy to find I could still get a puzzle together fairly fast.  Although I never felt brave enough to try expert mode.  Is there some game or activity you haven’t done in a while you wish you had time to do?