The Long Road Home

I was tired.  My days had been long and my nights way too short.  Driving down the road I was fighting fatigue brought on by the hypnotic view of the white lines on the road.  This was a trip I was dreading.  I had heard from a cousin that my grandma was in very poor health.  This may be my last time to see her and I was determined to make this trip even though I was sleep deprived.

I turned the radio up and began to whistle along with the song that was on.  Well, I say whistle, but the truth is I was only making noise – I’m not very good at whistling. But the music was helping me to stay awake.

My thoughts turned to the reason for this trip, my grandma.  She had been such a big part of my youth spending about half of my summer vacation with her and grandpa every year.  Grandpa had passed six years earlier and Grandma had gone down-hill ever since.  My family was actually surprised she had lasted so long after his death.  They had been together since their mid-teens and pretty much inseparable.  They worked together to build their own house from the basement up.  They owned their own business; he was the worker and she the bookkeeper.  There were not many hours that they were apart.

I passed a sign that told me it was only a mile to the next rest area.  I had to stop and get some caffeine to keep me awake.  I pulled into the parking space as my phone rang.  Putting the car into park I answered the call.  It was my cousin and my grandma had just passed away.  I guess she couldn’t wait any longer.  The trip would now be for a funeral instead of a visit.  I was hurting that I didn’t get to see her, but glad she was finally at peace.  As I walked to the rest area the tears began to form.

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – whistle

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A to Z Challenge – Driving

#AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge

D is for Driving

I was a normal teenager… ok, there is no “normal” for a teenager, true.  But I was thrilled to take Drivers Ed to get my driver’s license; I even took the course through summer school so when October rolled around I would be ready.  It didn’t go quite as I planned.

All throughout Drivers Ed I drove a small economy car.  And I didn’t do any “practice” driving at home.  By the time I had completed the course I was pretty comfortable with that little car.  Then it was a 2 1/2 month wait until I could take my drivers test.  In Iowa at the time it was a lottery system as to which people would have to take a driving test and which wouldn’t.  I was a lucky one picked (because they picked October birthdays).  When it came time to practice I panicked – mom and dad had a station wagon.  It was like a boat, HUGE, going on forever behind me.  I couldn’t drive that beast.  So, somehow I talked my sister into taking her car – an Oldsmobile of some kind.

I passed my written test and got ready for the driving test… I failed it.  I forgot to signal on a road that took a sharp right (the only way to go, but still a “turn”) and my turns were too wide.  So I practiced a little bit with my sister’s car before she protested too much.  I did take the test again and passed.

But, then what?  It was back home to that land mass of a car that I couldn’t drive.  Then the tables turn.  Dad wanted to get a car that was not a family vehicle.  He got a Pontiac Firebird.  Suddenly I thought more about driving and finally wore him down and started driving… this was when I was a senior in high school; two years after I could have gotten my license.  I loved that car!

I was a late bloomer behind the wheel but I finally got comfortable driving.  Now in my battle with anxiety I have issues in heavy traffic and will not take the interstate at 70 mph, instead taking the highways at the slower 55 mph.  And I still won’t drive a big car!

 

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First Accident

His diving was erratic. She was speeding to try to catch up with him. He had been at the bar again and she was worried about him driving home. She saw him pass a car and rushed to meet up with him, but the oncoming car prevented her from passing so she suddenly veered to the right hitting the gravel shoulder and spinning into the car she tried to pass.

Still concerned she urged the young driver to take her information and let her continued to see that her husband made it home safely.

…I was that young driver and felt sympathy for this woman’s fears. Letting her go and follow her husband. Everyone told me it was the wrong thing to do, but it was too late to change that fact. I still wonder if the two of them got home safely.

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – erratic

 

Destination You

Too many white lines
Blur my vision
Coffee is in my veins
As I try to fuel myself
My grip on the wheel
Has become too tight
Traffic is lite at 4 am
Lulling me into weariness
But the highway before me
Is the road back home
Back to you
And much needed peace

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – highway

Delayed

The snow is falling fast and the winds continue to howl. You were supposed to be here over an hour ago. I check my phone; no messages, it’s still silent. I am frantic with worry as the visibility outside continues to dwindle. The news talks of accidents and abandoned vehicles.
Once more I go to the door, open it and look up and down the street for any sign of a car. The icy chill greets me as I hear what could be an engine. I hold my breath, waiting, until at last I see headlights and you returning home.

Mumbles… numbers and things

Good evening everyone.  I sit here after midnight trying to gather my thoughts into some kind of coherent writing.  I was told the other day from WordPress that I hit a milestone.  I have now had over 1000 posts now.  Does not seem possible, but then again with doing both a daily happy and grateful post and the daily prompts all of last year that was well over 700 alone.  So I am feeling somewhat prolific.  I would like to say they were all wonderful posts, but I am my own worst critic.  Some of the posts I would like to sort through, but I am afraid half of them would be deleted then.

So I guess this is a kind of thank you.  Thanks for the views and the likes on all my 1000… most of all thanks for the follows.  I still wonder what I write that is good enough to want to follow… a lot of it is just getting my thoughts and demons out.  I am glad you have come along for the ride.  Now I guess I try to hit another 1000 posts.

How is the weather where you are?  We are getting ready for an ice/snow storm to hit just in time for the morning commute tomorrow (well technically today since it is after midnight) and of course both my daughter and my boyfriend will have to drive through it.  I do have to go out but it is only a couple blocks away so I am not too worried about my drive time… I am already anxious about the two of them driving in it though.

I have lived my whole life in Iowa, you would think I would be used to these little storm warnings, but they really bother me any more.  And driving in snow and ice at night… forget it!  I have turned into a ‘fraidy cat and I am not afraid to admit it!

I should stop rambling for the night.  Get some rest so I can check in on my daughter in the morning and make sure it was a safe trip to work for her.  Then wait to get a text from my boyfriend that he has arrived at work ok as well.  I hope you all have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 363

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Snow is pretty… pretty annoying too.  We got about 3 inches, which really isn’t much but it is one of the first all day snows we have had and it is cold… and only going to get worse.  This is Friday night and there is a wind chill advisory until Tuesday.  Ugh!  But I had to go out today… needed my prescriptions refilled and had a gift to return (wrong size) and then my daughter offered to take us out to lunch.  So I was out in the thick of it.  I was grateful there was not the freezing drizzle they had in some areas at least.

Now if you have read my blog you know I worry… about everything.  That is the nature of anxiety and depression.  But I was happy to hear from my daughter via a text message that she arrived at work ok (about a 20 to 30 minute drive away).  Often she forgets when I ask her to let me know so I was happy she didn’t.

All the tension from my first winter driving of the year has left my back in knots.  So I sit on a heating pad and took my pain meds and hope to sleep soon.  So forgive me if my writing does not make sense, I am not thinking quite clearly.

Only two more posts…. but a year worth of awareness has been great.  I hope you find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!