I realize this is Saturday… just pretend with me for a moment that I am not a day behind. I blame it on my birthday this week… not that we did a lot for it but I did see two doctors that day and went out to dinner with my boyfriend. Friday was all about resting and being wiped out after the fact.
So let’s take a look at 2016 for this FFF, the post was originally posted here.
Ah, it is that wonderful time again. No, not Friday the 13th, or the full moon, or the Harvest Moon. It is time for another FFF. Today I chose a poem from two years ago originally posted here. It was for a daily word prompt – disobey.
It is that time of the week to reach back into the archives and find an old post and try and give it new life. This one was very early on in my blogging. It was just a stream of consciousness blog and I was having a rough night…
The Search for Help… One Word at a Time
Depression sucks! In the midst of many life stresses, I am feeling the symptoms of all I endure…. depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia. I am aching from head to toe, feel my thoughts swirling like a tornado in my mind, and jumping at every little sound. I sit alone with my laptop and try to chase the feeling of doom with a little music. Try to pass the time with a mindless game. Try to slow the thoughts down with relaxation techniques. None of this is working today. The craving for comfort food (especially some sweets) keeps drawing me to the kitchen, only to find nothing to satisfy and calm me. I hover over my cell phone trying to decide if I should burden anyone with my pain and terror today, only deciding it would change nothing and only make me look even less “normal” than I already do. So I turn to a blank screen and the keyboard. I write a couple of poems to get some of the chaos out. Then talk to you… my invisible audience that I hope exists. I let off some of the pressure I feel pinned down by with each word I type. It is far from a cure. It will not stop the pain. But to write helps distract me in some ways. A deep focus on how the sentence will flow, or to find the right block of words to convey what I am dealing with. The words are not completely right, but they are close enough to slow the flood. I hold onto a dream that maybe these words are what someone else may need to see someday to know they are not alone. Today, at this moment, they are the words that I need to write for my own peace of mind. In short, depression sucks!
I know I am a day late,,, if you don’t tell anyone I won’t either. This weeks flashback is to a poem I did on August 23, 2017. Only two years ago, but before that my posting was very hit and miss here and there. So sit back and enjoy this little poem first published here .
Fandango over at This, That and The Other now posts Fandango’s Friday Flashback (FFF) every week of a post from a previous year on that date. I decided since WordPress reminded me this week I first started something vaguely like a blog six years ago I would join in. This particular post is from two years ago originally posted here but this is what my take on looking towards the future was like that night…