Mumbles … Warrior

Fibro Warrior bracelet | Etsy
Image from Google search – Etsy

I am not sure where it started but I have often heard the term Fibro Warrior.  Personally, I don’t feel much like a warrior.  I hurt all the time to some degree.  I have fibro fog creeping in from time to time – lack of memory, trouble concentrating, general brain fog.  I deal with depression and anxiety (which can be issues by themselves or along with fibro).  Sleep issues trouble me… one night I sleep 3 hours then I sleep 13 hours and still need to nap during the day with pure fatigue.

So, why is it that the term got added to a person with fibromyalgia?  I think it is because we often push the pain down as best as we can and continue on.  We read things multiple times, we make lists and check them over and over again, and we take naps when we need them.  I don’t see it as anything heroic or warrior like, but it is to survive.  It is to keep some aspect of life within our “control” when so many things aren’t.

I probably will never wear one of those fibro warrior t-shirts.  I will never refer to myself as a warrior.  But I will keep fighting every day in any way I can.


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – warrior

and as an added bonus…

Foggy Days

Sometimes it is hard to be present
Alive and focused on the here and now
The fog drifts though my head
and life takes on a haze
I read something three times
Before I finally understand
I struggle for the right words
To say what I really mean
I often just stay silent
Because the fog is bad at the time
Don’t take it as a shunning
It’s a problem with my mind
All I can do is take a deep breath
And gently try again


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – present

Happy and Grateful – Day 182

July brings fireworks, picnics, pools and air conditioning. It is a time for those of us in the USA to celebrate our “birthday” and a personal time for me to celebrate life. It is hot and humid days and thunderstorms cooked up at night. I am continuing my challenge to find happiness and gratitude in every day. Join along in the comments or on your own blog. There is always good in every day.

Happy July everyone!  Around here you would swear we skipped a few day straight to the Fourth of July… they have been spending a lot of money on fireworks around us.  It is kind of funny too and the apartment management put a flier on everyone’s door reminding us of rules including the city ordinance against shooting off fireworks.  Maybe they haven’t been home after work yet today?

Aside from being on edge from the steady mini explosions out my window… today was alright.  No heavy humidity today, it was still pretty warm though.

I picked up my boyfriend after work and we stocked up on some groceries.  Saved about $17 with coupons and specials.  Then used our Fuel Saver to fill the car up and saved another $11.  It always make me happy to save money like that.

I got an email from a friend and we made some plans to have lunch together next week.  Now I have something to look forward to, so I am grateful for that.

Not working well with my muse tonight – she can be pretty difficult when she chooses.  Well that and a case of fibro fog can do me in.  So I will bid you all a good night and hope your July started out with a happy BANG!

Happy and Grateful – Day 94

We have reached the month of April and I am still on course to post daily with my happiness and gratitude I have found.  Please join in if you feel like doing this too by sharing in the comments or on your own blog.  There is so much to be happy and grateful for.

I overslept today… had plans for things to do and slept right through my alarms.  It really frustrates me when I do that.  I know some of it is my medication that I take so I can sleep.  But I usually have to set 4 alarms just to wake up on time.  I only set two today so I guess it is my own fault.

I did still accomplish something today though.  We needed to fill out paperwork for the renewal of our lease and I sat down and at least got that done.  Filling out paperwork with fibro fog can be a nightmare sometimes… at least today I was pretty much able to concentrate.  So I am happy the paperwork is done and grateful the fog was minimal today.  Now I hope the renewal goes through ok.  I hate moving!

Happy and Grateful – Day 52

This is February and I am well on my way to attaining a goal I set for myself.  I am trying to post every day with happiness and gratitude that I have encountered that day.  There is always something no matter how small it may seem that we can be grateful for and even just a shared smile can make you happy if only for a moment.  Please try to find those moments for yourself too…  if you’re up to it I would love if you would share them too in the comments or your own blog.  Being aware can really turn a day around!

It looks like we have one nice day coming tomorrow and we are done with our warm spell.  I should have known snow would return soon.  In Iowa when the high school teams gather for the state basketball championships we almost always seem to get snow some where during the tournaments and the boys started playing this week I think.  SO I need to pull up some energy and get to a park tomorrow because I just didn’t have the energy today.

It has been a tough day.  Took Dad to the doctor and once again hit a brick wall on why he keeps getting dizzy.  So there are two more tests to take next week.  Does not seem to end.  And he is so frustrated with the doctors turning him in circles and passing the blame back and forth to different specialist… it gets old fast.  Add that frustration with another flare of my fibro and I was glad to see the sunset.

The nice thing about a bad day is that it will end… even many in a row will eventually end.  For that fact I am happy.  I am always grateful to work through the pain of the day, fight the fatigue,  and trudge through the fibro fog.  The term they use on some of the websites it a fibro warrior, some days it does feel like a battle.  But minute by minute I will win. Now on to that warm day tomorrow!

Happy and Grateful – Day 11

I have undertaken a challenge this year.  I am trying to find the good in every day by writing about happiness and gratitude that I feel.  No matter how small there is always something to bring a smile or make you grateful, if just for a moment.  Follow along with me as I dig deep as necessary and find the peace of the day.  Join in if you are feeling happy and grateful too – in the comments or on your own blog.  Let’s find some fun!

I have fibromyalgia and some days it really has me good … or should that be bad?  One of the symptoms of fibro is memory problems often referred to as fibro fog.  Today was one of those days it was pretty foggy in my head and I managed to forget my morning pills.  Didn’t realize it until later in the evening so it was too late to take them.  So I beat myself up about it the rest of the night… add this to the headache the lack of meds can cause and it was a rough night.

But there is one “person” I can always rely on to help me out on rough days… my cat.  What is it about pets that they can sense when we are down.  She came into my lap and cuddled with me… she is not one to cuddle much.  So my stress level went down and I stopped blaming myself for forgetting and let her purring take my headache down a notch.  She made me happy.  And I am grateful she was able to sense that I needed a cuddle.  Love my (well, technically my daughter’s except she is in a no pets apartment) cat!


Day 16 – 100 Days of Happiness

Today started out pretty good, but turned rough in the end.  I had another “fibro fog” morning and forgot to take my morning meds.  Still … I felt good enough to take in another beautiful fall day and walk the short path to my doctor’s office for my weekly session.  Just that little five minutes of fresh air and sunshine made me feel almost normal.  The rest of the day my back began to plague me and I developed a horrible headache.  I still have fibromyalgia and can have the day turn around on me fast, but I try to hold onto the good that was there before hand.  That walk was short (and it no doubt helped fuel my allergies), but I moved and got a dose of sunshine.  That is enough to make me happy for the day.

Slog Through The Forms

I am not a rocket scientist, and I don’t play one on TV either.  I’ll admit it… I looked up slog.  And I guess that is what I was doing today – slogging through re-certification paperwork for our apartment.

I get so frustrated with paperwork and especially financial forms anymore.  The fibro fog make the numbers blur and I forget what I am writing halfway through a long number.  I shouldn’t have a thing to worry about as I have not worked for over a year and still no positive word on disability.  There were 7 sheets of paper I had to fill out today and I spent almost an hour and a half on them and still was not done.  I feel so slow and sluggish.  I read and re-read questions to try to figure out what they need.  I used to be able to go through this stuff in no time.  This is now worse than taking a math midterm or finals paper!

But I persevered, kept toiling away at it, and we went through it with the landlord.  Only one more paper to fill out and we are done… then the waiting game to see if we still qualify.  We have been here two months beyond our original lease so I would think yes would come pretty easy.  But doubt always finds a way to creep in and cast shadows about.  I am trying to feel positive about this and if it should go bad, well then we just pick up, dust off and try something different.

At least today was productive in one small way.  I learned a new word to throw out there with lumber, trudge and grind.  My personal dictionary has grown!