A to Z Challenge – P

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The letter P …

My case sits next to me.  I will have to refill it tomorrow.  It is my lifeline.  It keeps me going from day to day, as long as I remember them.  It is my pill case.  I take an anti-depressant, anti-anxiety pills, fibromyalgia medicine, some vitamins, allergy meds and an inhaler.  Then there are the muscle relaxers and pain pills I take as needed, as well as a daytime dose of anti-anxiety meds.  I swallow 8 pills in the morning and 6 at night.  But they keep me out of a deep depression, mostly.  I am calm enough to get to sleep instead of staying awake going over and over things in my head.  My fibro flares don’t seem to be as severe.  All those who went through medical trials before me to test out the effectiveness of these drugs have my thanks.  The researchers and scientist have my thanks.  As we see the struggle over finding treatment, a cure, and a vaccine for the corona virus it reminds me of all the work that went into the meds I take.  Bottom line is I am grateful to have the prescriptions I do.

Mumbles … Restart

My life the last eight years has been about nothing but restarts and new beginnings. I lost my mom, went through a separation and divorce. Lived “on my own” for the first time in my life. Came to grips with my depression and anxiety. I discovered I had fibromyalgia. I had to face my inability to work. Found a new hope at love. And watched my daughter grow up and move out on her own. It has been a busy eight years.

The recurring theme has been if you don’t like the way the day is going, it is ok to start it over again at any point. I have tried to learn not to be so hard on myself (although I still often am) and just go with the flow a little more. Most things are not set in stone and you can always try again or turn around and try a different path.

I most recently restarted a busy day by taking 15 minutes to go to the park and watch the ice floes. Just a moment with the forces of nature gave me enough of a reset on the day that I was able to avoid a day going downhill. I watched the water and ice, listening to the sounds of the small spillway and felt refreshed.

Ice floes 2-28-18

Before my fibro I used to walk a couple of miles a day and take lots of outdoor photos trying to capture the freedom nature gave me. It was nice to take a few shots of the ice. But it was nicer to be able to see the day with a better perspective after a restart.

I even restarted my blog. I originally was here about 5 years ago, but never was consistent with my writing. Now after completing a daily challenge last year, I try to keep up daily or at least close to it. It is amazing what can come from a fresh start.

I hope you all have a wonderful night/day! (((HUGS)))

Happy and Grateful – Day 329

November brings a chill in the air and the start of the holiday gatherings of family and friends.  I can’t believe I am down to the last two month of my challenge to find happiness and feel gratitude every day.  I hope you join with me in the comments or your own blog in this challenge.  No matter how small there is always a little good in even the worst day.

Today was another day of fatigue… only two naps though.  And now I am wide awake too late in the night.  I have yet to understand why fibro can cause such profound fatigue during the day but still give me trouble sleeping at night.  Just one of many mysteries surrounding fibro.

I would have to say my happiness today came from a late night phone call.  My daughter called after work tonight and the conversation ended up on food.  One thing led to another and she talked me into making her a sandwich she would stop by and eat.  It is one my Dad got me hooked on and I passed it down to my daughter.  The combination may sound awful but the taste is really quite good.  I made her a peanut butter and pickle sandwich.  It made me happy to see her for a short while tonight.

My boyfriend made it through his shift at work today ok.  But came home pretty wiped out.  His fever is gone and he said instead of feeling like a train hit him, it is now only a pickup truck.  I am grateful he is feeling a little better and has the next two days off to recover.  To be on the safe side I filled up on Vitamin C and had some Echinacea tea today trying to keep it away from me.

I need to try to close my eyes and sleep now.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 227

Seven months are gone now and surprisingly I am still plugging along with this challenge to post about my happiness and gratitude every day this year.  August brings the state fair here in Iowa and lots of heat and humidity.  It is the time to see the back to school shopping start with kids dreading it and parents loving it.  As I continue my challenge I hope you will take a minute to reflect on your day too.  You can even share your happiness and gratitude here in the comments or on your own blog.  There is good in every day!

Another day in the record books, a day to scratch off the calendar, a day closer to death… however you say it, it’s over.  My day started out in utter panic.  I woke up sure I was late to pick up my dad.  Texted him and said I would be about 45 minutes late.  He replied, “what?”  It was about the time he replied that my mind woke up and reminded me this was Tuesday and not Monday all over again.  Love it when a day starts out like that … NOT!  But it gave us something to laugh about when I went over to fix him dinner.

It was a rainy and then humid day.  Got a little cleaning in the kitchen done and baked a small batch of cookies tonight.  Can’t help but be happy with a warm chewy chocolate chip cookie in your hand!

I am trying to get the apartment ready for my friend to visit.  I know she will be here Saturday night for cards, not sure if she is coming before that or not.  Kind of just playing it by ear as we go.  So I am picking a small area to tidy up every day.  I hope it doesn’t overwhelm my body with aches and pains,  One of the worst things about fibro is the way it punishes you for doing just a little too much.  And there is no warning that it is too much, it just feels that way the next day.  Well sometimes later the same day.  I am grateful that my boyfriend helps me out some.

Tomorrow is coffee day for my Dad so I should call it a night so I can get up and get ready for that on time.  Find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a good night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 186

July brings fireworks, picnics, pools and air conditioning. It is a time for those of us in the USA to celebrate our “birthday” and a personal time for me to celebrate life. It is hot and humid days and thunderstorms cooked up at night. I am continuing my challenge to find happiness and gratitude in every day. Join along in the comments or on your own blog. There is always good in every day.

It was a hot one today… hot and humid with little to no wind blowing.  A good day to be indoors, and I was for the most part.  I felt like a zombie much of the day as I only got about 3 hours of sleep, napped for an hour this morning and was on the go the rest of the day.  But I was grateful for a good working A/C in the car and cool comfort inside.

To pick my happy moment is more of a struggle.  I know a big reason I was not all smiles today was the lack of sleep.  I have not only been tired but hurting a little more today… the pressure was up the last I saw.  My fatigue and fibro may have been in the forefront of the day, but I did still find some moments of peace with a little music playing and just relaxing.  Music can change a mood for a moment or two of happiness if it is the right song.

Now to go finish a letter to a friend and call it a night.  I sure hope tonight I can sleep better.  Keep looking for your happiness!

Happy and Grateful – Day 161

June brings warmer weather and the start of summer.  Hopefully it brings many ideas from my muse too.  I continue to write for my challenge to find the things that make me happy and grateful each day this year.  Please feel free to join me in this challenge with comments about your happiness and gratitude or start your own blog.  There is always something good to find in each day.

I tried to escape today… escape into some ink and music.  I turned on the radio and made three cards.  Ok 2 and 4/5th cards… I am out of vellum tape to put an embellishment on the one to finish it.  I hope to remedy that tomorrow.  It was good to get lost in crafting for a while today.  It kept me out of my head and away from the stress and worry of my pain and situation with disability.  I am happy to create a little something out of scraps of paper… especially when it keeps my mind off of things.

It was a day I never set foot outside my apartment again… but for two reasons, I hurt too bad to do anything and it was HOT out.  The humidity was also on the rise today so that tends to make my fibro worse.  It was a good night to sit back in the AC and watch some DVDs with my boyfriend.  We are almost done with season two of Banshee now.  I was grateful to have good working air-conditioning on a day like today.

Now I have taken my night-time meds and a muscle relaxer.  I am hoping to sleep well tonight and not wake up every few hours like I did last night.  Maybe since my boyfriend is off tomorrow and there will be no morning alarms, I can just sleep until I wake up and feel somewhat rested… well it never hurts to dream a little!  Good night.


*By the way… has anyone else not been getting the daily word prompts in their reader feeds?  I have not had it show up two days now this week.  Was just wondering if it was a special little problem I was having or if anyone else was too?

Happy and Grateful – Day 148

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Today was a beautiful spring day for the windows to be open to hear the birds singing.  If I had just had a little more energy I might have made it for a walk today, but it just wasn’t in the cards.

Today was a day spent trying to connect with a friend.  I made a card and finished up a letter to her today. I did her whole card without getting any ink on my hands… wow, is that rare.  But as always it was good to be creative.  I sometimes get what I guess you would call crafter’s block when I look at that blank piece of card stock, but today I opened one of my stamp drawers and picked two different stamps to use right away and had a plan.  I can’t believe I have been making my own cards for close to 25 years now and I don’t think I have ever made the same card twice.  But I do have a rather LARGE rubber stamp collection.  It really made me happy to create today.

I also connected with another friend online today.  There are about 15 to 20 people in a fibro group I have become friends with through the years and one of them was online today looking to talk.  Her son is away with his dad and her boyfriend’s dad just was diagnosed with cancer… she was feeling pretty rough.  So we chatted for a good half an hour or so.  I love the fact I can connect with others who understand fibro and all that comes with it.  I am grateful for my “fibro family” I have found.

Well another day is winding down and I have an early morning tomorrow.  We have a Memorial Day tradition I will share with you tomorrow night.  I hope you all have a nice Memorial Day.  Good night!

Happy and Grateful – Day 143

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

Another day of off and on rain showers.  More forecasted for tomorrow.  If I can just make it until Thursday we are supposed to see the sun most of the day they say.  I guess even though it is rough on my fibro, it is good for my allergies as the rain keeps the pollen down a little.

Had to take Dad to another doctor appointment today.  This was just a routine follow-up with his regular doctor.  He ordered more blood work and convinced Dad to go back on his medication.  Dad is frustrated with all the pills he has to take and just quit them all… this is the second time he has done it.  And I understand the frustration – he is on over 20 different pills.  But with diabetes and heart disease you can’t just stop those meds.  I am grateful the doctor convinced him to take them again.

Had a busy evening, ran to the store and did some laundry… now I am tired and hurting.  So I take my nightly dose of meds and hope to sleep away some of the fatigue and pain.  I know I have a lot going on tomorrow too so I hope my fibro medicine does what it is supposed to.  I am happy I have some medication that does help me a little, not everyone is so lucky.

Ok it is off to dream land.  How about a nice dream about Sam Elliot just showing up to talk to me for hours and hours and hours… man I love his voice!  LOL

Happy and Grateful – Day 140

May has arrived and I hope it brings lots of Spring cheer with it.  I am in my fifth month now of taking time to acknowledge the things that make me happy and grateful every day… almost half way to my goal of a full year.  If you want to join in on this challenge please add your thoughts in the comments or start your own blog.  There is a lot to be happy and grateful for!

More cool mist and rain today.  It is not only getting to me fibro wise, but the grey and the pain are starting to send me into that dark place I don’t like to be.  So I have done writing today.  A couple of poems, some words for my therapist, and here I am in front of the keyboard again.  Only this time instead of getting out the ugliness inside I am going to weave my way past it to try to find the good of the day.

And there was good.  I woke up in a little less pain, and with a little less fatigue than yesterday.  But as the day went on my energy levels crashed.  Before I was too far gone to do much my daughter and her friend took me out for a late Mother’s Day dinner.  It was a nice dinner and conversation.

I was happy to have made a connection to my daughter’s friend (I am “Mama Bear”) and glad my daughter is not embarrassed by me like kids often are.  I am grateful that they both thought of me this way today.  There had been plans for a little time at the arcade, but we talked longer at the restaurant than originally planned.  So we got some ice cream to go and headed home.  It made for a nice afternoon!

Now I think I will do a little more word therapy and try to sleep.  If I can clear my head a little more before I sleep I should be able to rest peacefully without too many nightmares.  Here’s to sweet dreams for us all!