There is a lot going on in the world. A lot of it revolves around a tiny little germ – the corona virus. As I have mentioned before I have anxiety and this pandemic is not helping it at all. Then the depression is intensified by the thousands who have died. But I still go on.
My fibromyalgia is treating me pretty good today. It hasn’t been too bad of a week even. Really just sleep problems – can’t get to sleep, trouble waking up (that is due to medication to sleep I think), and the unexpected naps I take. The aches are always there to some degree, but I am not curled up in pain, I can sit up and write, read and I have made it up and down the stairs a few times today fairly easily. A shower did not completely wipe me out. Bottom line is, I am upright and for that I am grateful.
I am not sure where it started but I have often heard the term Fibro Warrior. Personally, I don’t feel much like a warrior. I hurt all the time to some degree. I have fibro fog creeping in from time to time – lack of memory, trouble concentrating, general brain fog. I deal with depression and anxiety (which can be issues by themselves or along with fibro). Sleep issues trouble me… one night I sleep 3 hours then I sleep 13 hours and still need to nap during the day with pure fatigue.
So, why is it that the term got added to a person with fibromyalgia? I think it is because we often push the pain down as best as we can and continue on. We read things multiple times, we make lists and check them over and over again, and we take naps when we need them. I don’t see it as anything heroic or warrior like, but it is to survive. It is to keep some aspect of life within our “control” when so many things aren’t.
I probably will never wear one of those fibro warrior t-shirts. I will never refer to myself as a warrior. But I will keep fighting every day in any way I can.
Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – warrior