Fan The Flames

You used to treat me like your love
Now I feel more like a friend
You used to kiss me passionately each day
Now it’s a brush against the cheek
We used to spend hours exploring each other
Now we barely even touch
Tell me what happened
Where did the fire go
I want to taste you once again
And feel the heat rise between us
It is time to bring the passion back
It is time to fall in love again

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – treat

Friends For… A While

We were a tight group of friends
Or so I thought
We all brought something
Different to the group
A gentle soul
A go getter
A wild child
And a quiet one
Yet somehow we all meshed
The problem was
There was only one
Who put forth effort
To keep the bonds strong
The nucleus of the group
The planner
And when she got sick
Things fell apart
No more gathering together
No more being there for each other
We became strangers
And the perfect friendships
Became just individuals lost and alone

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – nucleus

Will You? (FOWC)

Will you continue to be my friend…
When I forget to call
When I miss your birthday
When I can’t come to dinner
Will you continue to be my friend…
When I have a panic attack at your house
When I cry over the phone
When I reach out in desperation
Will you continue to be my friend…
When I can’t leave my house anymore
When I anxiety makes me physically ill
When I stay in bed for weeks from depression
Will you continue to be my friend?

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – continue

Mumbles… Assay

Foghorn_Leghorn

My mind is muddled tonight. Assay is not a common part of my vocabulary and all I can think tonight is that would be the way to phonetically spell out Foghorn Leghorn saying “I say” with his thick southern accent. So instead of writing I am thinking about cartoons of my youth.

Truth be told I just feel pretty disconnected tonight. Had a cold shoulder reaction from a friend and my daughter both the last two days and I am just a little fed up with it. I care, I care a lot and maybe that is a character defect instead of a good thing. But to a certain extent you expect others to care back at least a fraction of what you give out. I have had too many “friends” be there and then on the flip of a switch be gone. I don’t get it. I don’t understand how you can act like a good friend and then up and turn silent… no text, no calls, no emails.

To my fault or credit, once I care about someone, I care forever. I spent nearly 30 years missing a friend from grade school… we finally found each other through Facebook about 3 years ago. But in that time I never stopped saying she was my friend. I still cared and wondered where she was and if she was happy.

In the past 5 years or so I have had 4 people I considered good friends go silent… how can you do that to a friend. If something is wrong bring it up, have a fight or something, but just becoming distant to NOTHING is so rude and HURTS LIKE HELL.

Well I am just rambling and spewing forth a bunch of pain…you have better blogs to get to. I do thank you for reading. I hope there are a few who made it this far tonight. For you I send wishes for a wonderful night/day!

Only For You

“No. I insist, let me get the check,” she said and pulled the payment folder out of his grasp.

“It was my idea to meet” he replied. “At least let me get the tip.”

Once the monetary obligations were done they headed to the parking lot. She was full of butterflies inside at what would be next. She had known him for years but they had only just met in person. He was someone she cared for greatly over the years of online and old-fashioned snail mail correspondence. But this was different, he was here now. He was within reach and a part of her wanted more than a friendship… he was after all very good-looking and had been her best friend for a while now.

“Let’s head to that coffee shop you always talk about and finish our conversation” he suggested.

She bit her tongue and stopped herself from saying yes. A girl can’t seem too eager. “I have to work in the morning. If I fill my night with coffee I will never sleep.”

He put his hand on her shoulder and said, “they do sell decaf babe.”

At the mention of the word babe she had to smile. He started calling her that about a year ago and she found if sweet even though it was not a very PC thing to like. “Ok, will you drive so we don’t waste my gas?”

“Only because you asked nicely,” he said dropping his hand by his side again. Her shoulder suddenly felt very cold. She realized his hand had been really warm and a thought went through her mind about how warm the rest of him would be. A small embarrassed laugh escaped her before she knew it.

He turned back to her and asked, “something funny I said?”

“Just a happy memory sneaking up on me.”

“Care to share it with me?”

She wanted to share a lot with him, “maybe this one should stay private for now.”

“You’ll make me pout,” he said and stuck out his bottom lip.

Before she could stop herself she reached up to push his bottom lip back in and was instantly feeling the heat of a blush crossing her cheeks. He grabbed her hand and without missing a beat said, “Don’t spoil my pout.”

It felt like forever but it was only about 5 steps to his car when he let go of her hand and opened the door for her. Another old-fashioned act of chivalry he was full of. “Such a gentleman” she grinned at him.

“Just wait, I will show you how much of a gentleman I can be” and he shut the car door.

A memory clear back to her youth, just out of high school came to her. A time when she would sit in the middle of a bench seat next to her boyfriend on a drive. She glanced down at the console that separated the two seats and sighed.

As he got into the car she said, “I can’t believe you made the trip all the way here to see me.”

“It wasn’t’ that far from the hotel” he grinned and then added, “only for you babe, only for you.”

 

Ok … another attempt at fiction.  I know it is sappy but this is just days away from Valentine’s Day so bear with me.  PLEASE let me know what you think.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 361

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Today has been a day to try to recover.  Still fighting fatigue and tonight the pain is pretty moderate.  But the worst part is the depression.  I often feel this let down after the holidays.  I get so wrapped up in the festivities, that when it is over I crash hard.  Plus we had bitter cold and snow tonight… my least favorites.  I would love to sleep in tomorrow and curl up with a book, but Dad has an appointment in the late morning and I have one late afternoon.  So I try to focus on the good and am grateful that I know this wont last forever.

I did receive another card in the mail today and that made me happy.  It was from a friend I used to work with.  It is always good to hear from my friends.

I will keep this post short.  I have already slept some tonight and now it is time to grab my blanket and curl up for the night.  The winds have at least died now some, but it is still going to be below zero.

Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 357

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

I am a little late… better late than never, huh?  Fatigue caught up with me again… fatigue and depression.  I am missing some important people from my life this holiday.  I have gone through this more than once, but it doesn’t seem to get any easier.  I just have to focus on the good and remember fondly those memories that will never be lost.

Saturday was a day to wrap gifts.  My boyfriend was at work so I was able to spread everything out and wrap away.  Got through most of it but still have a couple left to do.  My back started to bother me quite a bit so I had to return to my recliner to rest a bit and lost my motivation.  But I am grateful for all I have accomplished earlier this year than usual.

I did have contact with two dear friends during the day.  I got a call from a friend who means the world to me.  And then I received a letter from a friend I used to work with years ago and have not seen in quite some time.  It always makes me happy to connect with friends.

Well there is still much to do today so I better post this and get on with it.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful day/night!

Happy and Grateful – Day 327

November brings a chill in the air and the start of the holiday gatherings of family and friends.  I can’t believe I am down to the last two month of my challenge to find happiness and feel gratitude every day.  I hope you join with me in the comments or your own blog in this challenge.  No matter how small there is always a little good in even the worst day.

Here in the US it was Thanksgiving today… well for most people it was.  My boyfriend works retail and was at work all day and my daughter spent the day with her boyfriend and his family so we are gathering for a feast on Monday when we are all able to be here. But in the spirit of Thanksgiving I reached out to a few of my friends I am truly grateful for and wished them a happy day and told them how much they mean to me.  I am grateful for my friends.

Now the happy part of the day is a little harder.  To be quite honest I was harboring a little jealousy of my daughter’s boyfriend for getting to be with her today.  First holiday with a real serious relationship and mom here is dealing with it as best as I can.  So I tried to recapture her youth and watched some kids movies today after the Macy’s parade was over.  But then I got a surprise.

I had sent off a letter last week (I think… or the week before) and the friend I sent it to called me today.  She used to live across the street from me growing up as kids and now she is halfway across the country.  It was so good to hear her voice though.  It had been far too long!  That phone call made me happy.

The lights are off, some music playing low.  My boyfriend has been asleep at least 3 hours now and I should try to do the same soon.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 299

The month of October is upon us.  Fall is in full swing with the leaves gathering on the lawn… maybe a pile or two to run through even.  The evenings are getting dark earlier as the days grow shorter.  And a few of us look forward to a good scare with Halloween coming this month.  Everyday has at least some small portion of good in it.  I am looking for that good with this challenge to find my happiness and gratitude every day.  Join in with the challenge by commenting or writing your own blog… let’s find some goodness today.

Today was filled with a lot of anxiety.  I woke up 15 minutes before my doctor’s appointment was scheduled.  I moved as fast as I could to get ready and get there within 10 minutes of the appointment time.  So I was pretty keyed up during the appointment, but the doctor is good about being able to talk me back down.  I was grateful it was still nice enough to walk to my appointment today… our first snow is supposed to fly tomorrow.

Tonight I was able wrestle down my anxiety and meet a couple of friends for dinner for a late birthday gathering.  It made me happy to see them both, it had been quiet a while.

I need to let my eyes close and get some rest now.  Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a great night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Day 264

The kids are all in school, there is a growing crisp in the air.  Football games and shorter days fill the weeks.  It is September.  I have accomplished another month of acknowledging my happiness and gratitude every day.  Join me as I continue my goal of one year on this journey.  Please join in with your happiness and gratitude in the comments or your own blog post.  No matter how bad the day is there is always something worthwhile in the day.

Today was a roller coaster day.  I just felt very up and down emotionally.  I met with my doctor and felt pretty good afterwards, but it did not last.  Felt better when my boyfriend came home but now I have crashed again.  …wouldn’t be so bad if I liked roller coasters.

I am still going to dig to find the good.  Today I was happy to hear from my daughter that she will be spending the evening of her birthday with us.  We will treat her to a dinner out and open gifts.  I didn’t know if she wanted to plan something with her friends or not so it was good to hear that she will be here that night.  Hard to believe she will be turning 23 already.

Now for my moment of gratitude… or actually my collection of gratitudes.  Since I saw today was World Gratitude Day I thought maybe I would do more today.  Some things are a daily thing but they are very important.  Home, food and clothing.  My family is my world… and that of course includes my cat.  I have friends I would be lost without.  I have a very good life…

There are things that I wish for, but all in all I have what I need right now.  And on days like today I have to remember that.  What are you grateful for on this World Gratitude Day?

Time to listen to my drooping eyes and close them.  Remember to feel your gratitude and find your happiness.  Have a good night/day!