Losing Control (FOWC)

There was a time
That I would have jumped
The minute you said to
There was a time
When I believed in you
When you were still unsure
There was a time
When the future looked bright
When we had little to show

Those days are gone
You have lost control
And I can’t stand the pain anymore
Those days are gone
You lie so much
And I can’t find peace anymore
Those days are gone
You spew hate
And I can’t feel love anymore


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – control

You Are So Much To Me (FOWC)

You’re my rainbow
After a storm that threw me about
You’re the sun
On a cold winter day that was harsh
You bring me hope
When the day is long and I struggle to stay afloat
You’re my friend
When I am lost and feeling so alone
You’re my passion
When the world turns bitter
You bring me love
Just because you care
To say it in simple terms
You are my future…


Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – simple

Happy and Grateful – Day 276

The month of October is upon us.  Fall is in full swing with the leaves gathering on the lawn… maybe a pile or two to run through even.  The evenings are getting dark earlier as the days grow shorter.  And a few of us look forward to a good scare with Halloween coming this month.  Everyday has at least some small portion of good in it.  I am looking for that good with this challenge to find my happiness and gratitude every day.  Join in with the challenge by commenting or writing your own blog… let’s find some goodness today.

I have got to find a breaking point… something has to give.  I am so worn out and things are not slowing down anytime soon.  The fatigue it feels like, is swallowing me whole.  By the time I got the cobwebs out of my head this morning it was already time to leave to get Dad for coffee so there was no time to post until now.  I hope you forgive me for being late once again.

Tuesday Dad went in for a follow-up with his doctor after going to the ER.  Really nothing new except she did say it could be a month or two before there is much change in Dad’s leg.  He is either getting a little better (or just getting used to it) though as he seems to be limping a little less.  I was grateful to know there are no underlying problems.

My daughter messaged me and we chatted about a cute conversation she had with her boyfriend.  It was about watching HGTV together in their house.  Made my daughter giddy and made me happy to know they are talking of things in the future. …ah young love!

I need to go try to tackle some laundry… not sure I can lift the laundry basket I am so tired, but I will give it a try so we can have clothes to wear.  I hope you find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a good night/day!

I Will Not Disobey

I will not disobey

The wishes of my heart

Today is the day

I make a brand new start

I will not disobey

The musings of my mind

I will take the time

Always to be kind

I will not disobey

What I promise myself

My feelings I will never

Just place upon a shelf

Too much hurt and pain

Were bottled up in the past

Now I plan a future

Where happiness can last

In The Mirror

Standing with a towel

Wrapped around my body

I wipe the mirror of its condensation

I peer through the foggy air

Straining to see myself

The distorted image faces me

Like half a shadow

Only showing part of me

Not the whole picture

It is like my own view

Not quite sure of myself

Not knowing who I am

Like in this foggy bathroom

Eventually the view will clear

And I will see my future

Clearly before me

I only have to believe

The Wise Squirrel

I stare out the window of my car

This is where I like to think

Parked by the bridge at the park

I can hear the water go by

The birds singing

I see nature all around

In the trees, the grass and flowers

This is where I can concentrate

I ruminate about my future

And where I want to be

Which path to take

If I want to stay

A squirrel goes by in a chatter

As if to tell me, “Trust your instincts.”

Now if I can just figure out

What those instincts are…

A Too Familiar Stench

Alcohol is a filthy word

When you speak it,

You slur the word so bad…

You crawl to the bed

And ask me to understand,

You needed an escape…

You pass out instead of sleep

And the stress we share,

For me, has just been doubled…

I cannot speak,

I am the one numb now

Uncertain what tomorrow will bring…