Mumbles … grateful

This is something I did for a year; it should be easy.  But I find my depression and anxiety standing in my way tonight.  The word prompt for the day is grateful.  And I know there is lot I should be and am grateful for, it’s just the voices in my head try to take the good things from me one way or another.

So, there is the obvious things like food, clothing and shelter, family and friends, words and music.  But tonight, I am thankful for many things.  After about 20 minutes of the power being out today, I have a stronger awareness of how grateful I am for air conditioning in this heat.  I know there are those homeless that need to find a place that is cool and welcoming this time of the year.  And some that don’t have air conditioning or just window units to cool one room.

Gratitude is something my doctor says I should embrace every day.  It is something that we talk about at least once a month.  It is something that can turn a day around if you just take a minute to notice what you have.  They say the grass is greener on the other side, but I like my shade of green just fine.  It is mine and I am grateful.

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – grateful

Mumbles… Attitude

Someone once told me to “have an attitude of gratitude.” Last year, all 365 days, I did a happy and grateful post every day. It did help me to appreciate the good in my life. It let me see the good through the blindingly bad. It is good to be reminded of that every once in a while.

The last week or so has been a little rougher on me again. I am drowning in stress and it is taking a toll on me mentally and physically. But I am still taking steps forward. I began a twice a week physical therapy for my back, neck and shoulders. One day in the heated pool (great for my lower back, I have done it before) and one day more traditional PT. This of course though adds two more appointments in a busy week.

I continue to see my therapists and doctors as scheduled and find little bits of hope in advice they share. My PT therapist offered many options to do gentle exercises at home (including looking for GENTLE yoga videos on YouTube, why didn’t I think of that?).

I have rearranged my thinking on my appointments and errands throughout the week. Instead of looking at a week full of appointments as taking up the whole day, I take those 4 appointments (at most an hour each) and add up how little of my time in a week they will actually take. It is much more manageable that way.

I am tackling one thing at a time and tying to be happy when each task is done. That is not to say there isn’t fatigue or pain (or both) when I am done, but the point is I am done. Up until the end of September things seem to be pretty well booked, so I am doing what I can to not get overwhelmed.

The good side of all of this will hopefully produce a little less pain, a little more energy and lots of things accomplished. Plus I have a couple of things to look forward to including a visit from an out of state friend in just short of two weeks. So today I am thankful for a day with only one thing I “have to” do and more time for the computer, WordPress and maybe a game or two of Words With Friends. How is your attitude today?

Have a good day/night everyone! (((HUGS)))

 

Written for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – attitude

Happy and Grateful – Day 365

This has been a long year… but I made it to the end.  When I started out on my challenge to write a post every day for a whole year about what I was happy and grateful for, I never thought I would make it.  Some days were hard to find a happiness, some days I didn’t feel there was anything to be grateful for but I dug deep and always found something.

By far my daughter brought me the most happiness and gratitude during the year.  But if I had to guess second place I would guess things that come close to healing me (doctor, meds, etc).  Some days I resorted to the basic needs – food, roof over my head and warmth or cool surroundings for the season.  But I found something every day.

This final night of the year I was happy to have survived another year.  Happy to be surrounded by those I care about.  And happy to have enough to get by. My boyfriend, my daughter and I all got together to play cards and toast in the new year (raspberry schnapps and cranberry juice – YUM!).  I may not have won the games – my daughter won both that we played – but we shared a few laughs and had a good time.

Time to get sappy… my gratitude for the night.  I am grateful for all of you readers who have stuck with me.  I plan to stick around for a while longer, but will not be doing the Happy and Grateful posts anymore.  I hope it is something that is beneficial for me and entertaining for you.  I want to thank you all for reading.  I am still amazed I have more than the 10 people I thought might follow me.  Now at over 350 I am stunned.  I am absolutely speechless at the 16,000 views and wondering where the 7,800 visitors came from.

Most of all at the end of this year I am in awe that I am now only 5 posts away from 1000 posts.  I know the Happy and Grateful along with the daily prompt poems this year account for the majority of that.  But I think I still have a little creativity left in me to share.  And for that I hope you will stick around and bear with me on this new journey.

As always I hope you remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  May 2018 be wonderful for all of you… HAPPY New Year!

Happy and Grateful – Day 364

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Next to last day… and as a side note, I may be late on my last post.  My daughter will be here for a night of games so it not only is going to be waiting for midnight, but also waiting to see who wins the battle.  LOL

Today was bitter cold.  The furnace has run almost nonstop and it still feels a bit cooler in here.  But that is winter in Iowa.  Tomorrow is supposed to be the coldest day with possible record-breaking lows.  I am grateful to have the warmth and comfort of a home… I know they said on the news the homeless shelters were full tonight.

I did get to come closer to being caught up with my reading on WordPress.  If I make it much later after I post this I hope to read more.  I am happy I found the time to read today.

One last call for ideas on what I could do this next year now that my Happy and Grateful is nearly done.  I am pretty sure I still want to post nearly every day… I would be lost without my writing.  Any ideas?

Ok… time to dim the lights and read myself to sleep.  Remember to find you happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day and PLEASE celebrate New Years Eve smart… don’t drink and drive!

Happy and Grateful – Day 362

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

I have a tough week ahead of me.  I have homework from my therapist to do.  Writing down my pain (physical and emotional) in a diary.  It is part of acceptance therapy he is working with me on and as often as I have painful thoughts these days I will be writing all day long.  It is going to be tough to do, but I have already noticed some changes since we started this workbook and we are only 60 pages into the 200 page book.  So I am going into this week hopeful and scared at what I will learn about myself, but determined to get it accomplished.  For these last few days I hope I can do both.  I already had to note my sadness as I wrote my poem for “cozy.”

Besides seeing my doctor and watching the snow pile up… I did take my Dad to the clinic.  I was grateful the main roads were mostly clear of the snow and I didn’t slide around too much.  Now we are in for another system of about 3 more inches…only 81 days, 10 hours and 30 minutes until spring.  But who is counting?

I did relax a bit tonight and watch a movie with my boyfriend.  He got the new Kingsman movie for Christmas and we watched it.  It was good but it was another one of those movies with whispered dialog, so you turn the volume up but get BLASTED out of your chair when an action scene comes up.  I just sat in the quiet after it was over happily hearing nothing but the soft hum of the furnace running.

Ok… I am STILL behind on reading posts.  Let’s see how far I can get before my meds kick in tonight.  Please remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

 

Happy and Grateful – Day 361

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

Today has been a day to try to recover.  Still fighting fatigue and tonight the pain is pretty moderate.  But the worst part is the depression.  I often feel this let down after the holidays.  I get so wrapped up in the festivities, that when it is over I crash hard.  Plus we had bitter cold and snow tonight… my least favorites.  I would love to sleep in tomorrow and curl up with a book, but Dad has an appointment in the late morning and I have one late afternoon.  So I try to focus on the good and am grateful that I know this wont last forever.

I did receive another card in the mail today and that made me happy.  It was from a friend I used to work with.  It is always good to hear from my friends.

I will keep this post short.  I have already slept some tonight and now it is time to grab my blanket and curl up for the night.  The winds have at least died now some, but it is still going to be below zero.

Remember to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful night/day!

Happy and Grateful – Days 359 & 360

One of my favorite months is upon us. I love the wonder of the holidays.  How it can light up young and old alike.  The weather is (usually) starting to change the world white and frosty.  And the promise of a new year is just around the corner.  This is the final month of my attempt to find the things that make me happy and grateful every day for a year… I have mixed emotions that it will be ending.  Please join me these last few days and post your happiness and gratitude in the comments or on your own blog.  There is always some good in the day no matter how small.

So much holiday activity left me really fatigued… forgive me for being a little late again.

Day 359

Christmas was busy.  We packed up the spicy chili that had simmered all night long and went to my boyfriend’s sister’s house to be there for a noon lunch.  I was grateful the roads did not have much snow and ice on them so it was an easy drive there and back.  After a few hours there we returned home to spend the remainder of the afternoon and evening with my daughter.  It was a wonderful holiday.

I handled the day without taking an anti-anxiety pill and was proud of that achievement.  It is always a challenge to balance the good of the day with how all the people will affect me.  I tend to shy away from a lot of conversation and focus in on the joy seen through the eyes of the children.  My boyfriend has two great-nieces who are almost 2 and a 4-year-old great-nephew, watching them was a joy.

One of my challenges of the season is finding that “ideal” gift and we did pretty well this year.  But of course the best thing was spending time with my daughter.  She was not able to stay late as she had to open at work the next morning and I needed to runs some dinner to my Dad’s house anyway.  It was a busy but happy day.

Day 360

This was the day of recovery… but I had to take my Dad to the clinic for a blood draw and an appointment with the dietitian so no rest for me.  Dad had me a little concerned as he forgot the doctor he was seeing and once in the office he confused his cell phone for his blood sugar meter.  Otherwise he seemed fine other than back and leg pain that was worse yesterday.  I was happy the doctor was pleased with how his blood sugar was running.

I did get a chance to put my feet up and relax last night though.  And my boyfriend brought home the belated Christmas present that was not in stock before Christmas.  It is a heated massage mat to use in my recliner for my back.  I am planning on breaking it out when I am done writing to see how it works.  Even if it is just for the heat alone it will soothe my back… I am grateful for that.

I have babbled on far enough now.  I hope to get back on track tonight.  There are just a handful of days left… then a whole new year to explore what ever comes next.  Try to find your happiness and feel your gratitude.  Have a wonderful day/night!