Gravy, the word conjures up comfort food in most people. But it sent me squealing tires, fast as can be back to the past. A word my ex used to use at least once a week. He worked for a printing company and would get big jobs that once they were set up were just “gravy” or super easy to run. I hadn’t thought of that term in years. Why did it drag me to the past today?
Last month was the anniversary of his death and this month is his birthday. Plus, you throw in holidays that are missing someone. And no matter what, in spite of the divorce, he was still a friend of mine. Someone I care about, never really stopped loving him but HATED what the bottle had done to him.
So, here I am in the past with all those old questions, worries and what ifs. It is a trap I fall into too often. When you are married to someone for 20 years it is hard to walk away. But I had to for my own peace of mind. The alcohol killed what was once so beautiful. The lies and self destruction were too much.
On a side note to gravy, I had been getting a little closer to caught up and then the holiday came. We had two Thanksgivings and I fell back to more than a week behind. BUT I will catch up hopefully before Christmas. I am ahead of schedule on my Christmas cards so I should only need one more day for that to be done. Bear with me. And I hope everyone has a great weekend! (((HUGS)))
Written for Fandango One-Word Challenge (FOWC) – gravy